How Not To Be A Lazy Slob


My biggest fear in retirement is morphing into a teat-sucking layabout—that is, a lazy slob. Work, for all its faults, adds structure to your life. It gets you up early and out of the freakin’ house (or in my case, down the freakin’ stairs). But I no longer have the spur of work. Sleeping late … [Read more…]

I Don’t Know Diddly Squat


I endeavor to provide factual information and advice on this blog. But I’m human. My memory isn’t perfect. And I have biases too. I want certain ideas and lifestyle choices to win, so to speak. And though I don’t knowingly withhold information that might tarnish the appeal of my ideas and lifestyle choices, it doesn’t … [Read more…]

Epilogue: Mr. Phone’s Execution Went Smashingly Well!

Skull and Lethal Injection

Mr. Phone’s execution took place as scheduled on Friday, October 14 at 4:31pm EDT. Mr. Phone was convicted of many crimes—of which the most heinous offense was Aggravated Assault on Brain Cells. I’m at peace now that he’s gone. Before his execution began, Mr. Phone slowly and deliberately ate his last supper. It consisted of three … [Read more…]

FI Gothic


In 1977, I got my first job. It was at Pete’s Deli. I was 16 and got paid $2.30 an hour. But look at me now. A mere 39 years later, and I’ve reached my last day of mandatory work. To paraphrase the great Martin Luther King, Jr., “Free at last, Free at last, Thank … [Read more…]