I’m a fraud. Up until now, I thought my ears were long since deaf to the siren call of materialism. And for good reason. You don’t go from broke to FI in fourteen years on a modest household income by succumbing to rank consumerism.
But then Mrs. Groovy and I put together our needs and wants for Groovy Ranch. And as I assembled these needs and wants into nice, bulleted lists, I recoiled in horror. They hardly look like they sprung from the minds of two people who don’t give a rat’s ass about image and gratuitous comforts. Check ’em out.
Groovy Ranch Needs
- Three bedrooms. One master, two secondary.
- Two full baths.
- Powder room.
- Hardwood floors throughout.
- Tile floors in bathrooms and utility room.
- 9 ft ceilings on the first floor. After living in a house with 9 ft ceilings, we can never go back to 8 ft ceilings.
- Vaulted ceilings on the second floor.
- Quartz or butcher block countertops in the kitchen. Until we moved down to Charlotte, laminate countertops were perfectly fine. No more. We’re so jaded.
- Quartz countertops on the bathroom vanities.
- Farmhouse sink in the kitchen. We are building a farmhouse, after all.
- High faucets in kitchen and bathroom sinks.
- At least two of the base kitchen cabinets should have all drawers rather than two doors. We hate opening doors and bending down to put things away. Drawers will make life so much easier.
- No upper kitchen cabinets, just open shelves. Going this route means we’ll have to be a little more conscious about the quality of our dinnerware.
- Linen closet.
- Shiplap or plank walls throughout, painted white. We curse Joanna and Chip Gaines for ever putting shiplap on our radar. But it’s the perfect look for a farmhouse.
- Recessed lights in kitchen, bedrooms, and living room. We don’t mind lamps for accessory lighting, but they can’t be our main lighting. They can’t!
- Gas heat. Doesn’t get too cold in NC, but a heat pump just doesn’t cut it. Gas heat is manly heat.
- Gas fireplace in living room. Nothing like having a roaring fire at your fingertips.
- Hardie plank siding on the outside of the house.
- Front porch.
- Screened-in back porch.
Groovy Ranch Wants
- Metal roof.
- Radiant barrier under metal roof. No trees on Groovy Ranch. So something’s got to shield our home from the blistering summer sun.
- Attic fan.
- Spray insulation.
- Radiant heat floors in the bathrooms. Nothing like a warm place to do nature’s business.
- Corrugated steel ceilings throughout. We love the look. Besides, we got to flout conventionality a little. [Mrs. Groovy here. WE love the look? No, YOU love the look. I’m not sold on it. Not throughout the entire house.]
- Entryway foyer.
- No barrier showers. A man of my esteem can never risk the possibility of a stubbed toe on the way to the shower.
- Whole house backup generator. What’s an extra $5-7K? After all, without a backup generator, we may lose twenty bucks to meat spoilage every three or four years.
The Groovy Fight Meter
Haha! Even though our HGTV consumption has gone down dramatically over the past two years, it’s obvious we still suffer from HGTV’s twisted notion of what makes a home “livable.”
Does this mean we’re no longer FIRE members in good standing and we have to surrender our FIRE cards?
On a brighter note, Mrs. Groovy and I have decided to go with a two-story farmhouse—the future comfort of our knees be damned. And we only had one fight this past week. I want drawers in the base kitchen cabinets where possible because I think they’re more functional than doors with pull-outs (see picture below). Mrs. Groovy isn’t so sure about that because she doesn’t think she’ll be able to fit her “big pots” in drawers. I said she was nuts. She said I was a jerk-ass. [Mrs. Groovy here. I said I needed to be sure my pots fit in the drawers. I just needed an image, is all. So when you described them as being the size of my dresser drawers, that’s when I called you a jerk-ass. Your answer didn’t help. I’m not looking to put sweaters in my kitchen cabinet drawers!]
But after a few other choice expletives were exchanged, Mrs. Groovy opened up to the idea of drawers as long as they can accommodate her largest pots. If not, they’re out. We’ll score this one a draw. [Mrs. Groovy here. Well, you’re being kind. I think you should win this one because I agreed drawers would work after you showed me the photo.]
Total fights to date: 3
Mr. Groovy wins: 1
Mrs. Groovy wins: 1
Photo by Kotivalo via Wikimedia Commons
Okay, groovy freedomists, that’s all I got. Our goal is to keep our build around $125 per sq ft. But with these needs and wants, that might not be feasible. Let me know what you think when you get a chance. Peace.
P.S. I can’t thank FIG readers enough for the suggestions they made in the first Groovy Ranch update. Believe me, Mrs. Groovy and I take those suggestions very seriously, and I have already cataloged them for future reference. Please, keep those suggestions coming.