Oh, The Joys of Blogging with a Spouse

(A Play in One Act) 

Characters:

Mr. Groovy         Mid 50s, blogger, husband to Mrs. Groovy

Mrs. Groovy       Mid 50s, blogger, wife to Mr. Groovy

Setting:                The play takes place in Mr. and Mrs. Groovy’s home office.

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Act I, Scene 1

It’s late at night. Mr. Groovy sits alone hunched over computer, typing. Groovy Cat is sitting on sofa behind him. Lights rise as Mrs. Groovy enters from stage left.

Mrs. Groovy

(Walks over to Mr. Groovy at desk)
Let’s see what you got.

Mr. Groovy

OK
(Rises, goes to sofa. Sits down and pets Groovy Cat)

Mrs. Groovy

(Takes seat at desk. Sits silently for a few seconds while reading computer screen)
What the hell does “attack on my substance” mean? Is this Shakespeare?

Mr. Groovy

No. it refers to a complaint written in the Declaration of Independence about King George III.
(Mrs. Groovy stares at him blankly)
It talks about how he sent out his officers to harass the general public and “eat out their substance”.
(Mrs. Groovy continues to stare at him blankly)
It means the British government was taking everything away from private citizens.

Mrs. Groovy

If you keep insisting on being intellectual you’re going to put people to sleep.

Mr. Groovy

It’s OK to enlighten people you know.

Mrs. Groovy

Yes, but this is a bit of a stretch for a personal finance blog. How about putting a link to an explanation for those of us who don’t read the Declaration of Independence on a daily basis?

Mr. Groovy

(Sighs) OK. I suppose if you don’t get it, most people won’t.

Mrs. Groovy

No, they won’t. (Pauses a few seconds) So how’d you do with answering your comments?

Mr. Groovy

I haven’t done any yet.

Mrs. Groovy

I don’t understand why that gives you so much trouble.

Mr. Groovy

I can’t think of the right things to say. You’ve read them. You know how deep and meaningful some of the remarks are. Take Penny for example. I can’t match her vocabulary.

Mrs. Groovy

You’re being too hard on yourself. No one is expecting you to say meaningful things in your responses. You’ve already written a great post. And people have cared enough to read it and leave a comment. You just need to thank them. Be conversational. Be charming.

Mr. Groovy

I can do charming.

Mrs. Groovy

I know you can, baby.

Mr. Groovy

(Smiles) Come here and give me some sugar!
(Mrs. Groovy rises, goes over to Mr. Groovy. He stands and they kiss. Lights fade to black) 

**********************************

ACT I, Scene 2 

It’s mid-evening the next day. Lights rise on Mrs. Groovy seated at desk. She’s just staring at the computer with her hands in her lap. Groovy Cat is lying on the sofa. Mr. Groovy enters from stage left, sits on sofa, and pets Groovy Cat.

Mr. Groovy

You haven’t finished yet?

Mrs. Groovy

I’m almost done. I’m thinking.

Mr. Groovy

You just needed to shape that one section. What’s so hard?

Mrs. Groovy

It’s not that hard. My brain is just fried from working all day at my stupid job.

Mr. Groovy

I work all day too. You don’t see me complaining.

Mrs. Groovy

I know. You’re a martyr. (pauses) C’mon, you know your work situation is less idiotic than mine!

Mr. Groovy

True. You got me there. You need to take it less seriously. Less than seven months to go! Only a few more months and then it’s FREEDOM baby! Just keep your eye on the prize.

Mrs. Groovy

I will. (pauses) I’ll be done in an hour. I promise. You think you can stay awake until 9:30 for a change?

Mr. Groovy

Very funny. I’ll just sit here until you finish.

Mrs. Groovy

If you’re going to fire up one of your podcasts, you better go downstairs so I don’t get distracted.

Mr. Groovy

Yes, dear.

(Mrs. Groovy hunches over computer and begins to type while Mr. Groovy sits back and begins to
doze off. Lights fade to black.)

**********************************

ACT 1, Scene 3

It’s morning, the next day. Lights rise on Mr. Groovy hunched over computer, typing. There’s no sign of Groovy Cat.

Mr. Groovy

(Loudly)  I’ll be ready for you to proof read this in around ten minutes. I’ve got it scheduled to post at 8:55am.

Mrs. Groovy

(Entering from stage left) What’s this one about? I forgot which one you’re doing today.

Mr. Groovy

Oh, it’s another one of my political rants.

Mrs. Groovy

(Sarcastically) Wonderful! Do you think after this you can get politics out of your system for a while? Like maybe go the next 10 posts without mentioning it? We’re supposed to be writing about personal finance.

Mr. Groovy

(Pauses) Have I told you lately you’re beautiful?

Mrs. Groovy

You’re an idiot.

Mr. Groovy

Yes, I’ll keep a lid on the political stuff after this one.

Mrs. Groovy

Good.
(She notices computer screen now, pulls up ottoman and sits down next to Mr. Groovy)
Where’d you get that image?

Mr. Groovy

I don’t know. I searched free images in Google.

Mrs. Groovy

Seriously? How many times do we need to have this conversation? Google taking you to a site that says free doesn’t make it free. If there’s a copyright on it you can’t use it without permission or without paying a fee. Did it say “CC0 Public Domain, free, no attribution required?”

Mr. Groovy

I don’t know. No.

Mrs. Groovy

You can’t just take other people’s work and use it. What don’t you get about this?

Mr. Groovy

I’d have an easier time releasing Pentagon secrets than I have posting a freakin photo.

Mrs. Groovy

(Pauses) Let me ask you something. Do you like our home?

Mr. Groovy

Of course I do! You know that. What does that have to do with anything?

Mrs. Groovy

Well, since we’re speaking of photos, you better start taking some of our house. So you can remember it when someone sues us and takes it away from us!

Mr. Groovy

You’re nuts! Everyone posts photos.

Mrs. Groovy

They post their OWN photos or they get permission. Or they find images that are really free. I mean LEGALLY free! Or heaven, forbid—they pay for a photo service! Why can’t you grasp the meaning of intellectual property? For someone who’s so intellectual it’s a mystery.

Mr. Groovy

(Laughs) You love to mock me! Am I going to get the Mrs. Groovy five-minute lecture now?

Mrs. Groovy

Very funny.

Mr. Groovy

Oh yeah? You should hear yourself. Maybe I’ll record you some time. (He begins mimicking Mrs. Groovy) You gotta post comments. You need to find a new theme for the site. Our site looks ridiculous.

Mrs. Groovy

Well, it does look ridiculous. You gotta admit that.

Mr. Groovy

(Pauses) Yes it does. Look, when we don’t have to do our phony-baloney jobs anymore we’ll have time to figure all this stuff out.

Mrs. Groovy

I know.

Mr. Groovy

Have patience.

Mrs. Groovy

I’ll try.

Mr. Groovy

Try harder.

Mrs. Groovy

I will.

Mr. Groovy

I still need around five minutes before you proof read. Go do your hair or something. You look like a wild woman.

Mrs. Groovy

You’re an idiot.

Mr. Groovy

I know. But what does that make you? You married me.

Mrs. Groovy

A bigger idiot?

Mr. Groovy

I love you.

Mrs. Groovy

I love you too.

(Mr. and Mrs Groovy kiss. Lights fade to black)

 

THE END

 

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20 Comments

  1. AWWWWWWWW so cute! So yeah, I can definitely see the benefits of blogging together, you’re such a team!

    [Also freeimages.com, unsplash, and pixabay are great places to find free photos, hee hee 🙂 ]

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Thank you, Katasha. And thanks for mentioning those services. Unsplash is new to us and we’ll definitely check it out. We are so photographically challenged!

  2. LOL, this is funny. Blogging with your spouse can be interesting.

    Our play would go: Me-Honey, will you please write the post about being a stay at home dad? Jon: But…I want to write about fixing the lawn mower…after I actually fix the lawn mower. Me-Will you at least take pictures? And by the way, you have four comments to answer. Jon: But you said 2 yesterday. Me-Yes, you have more now. That’s terrific.)

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Yes, it’s certainly interesting, Emily! And sometimes an argument can’t be avoided. For you and Jon the roles are the reverse of ours. In our duo, I’m the one who carries the much lighter load. And I admit, I can be demanding. I’m trying to do better.

  3. Ha! I love this. When you tour the Midwest, let me know. I want front row seats. It’s wonderful that you guys are such a team behind your blog. It gives me something to aspire towards. Mostly now, I just make Mr. P promise not to click on my blog so as not to inflate my page views. True story: my second week of blogging, I was so excited that I was going to hit 100 views in a day…that Mr. P snuck down in the basement and clicked 10 times to put me over the edge! That stinker. We’ve both learned a lot since then!

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Penny, at least in your second week you knew how to track your views. We’re not great at paying attention to all that.

      If we didn’t have plans to retire, Freedom Is Groovy might be a one-man show. Mr. G would go off on more rants and I’d ignore him. But he’s glad I took an interest because the blog is something we can focus on together when we quit our jobs.

  4. I think I’ve seen this play before…in my living room. My wife Suzanne is my unofficial editor and technical person and the one to remind me when I’m supposed to answer comments or whatnot. All we’re missing is the cat.

    • Mrs. Groovy

      That’s funny, Gary. Groovy Cat definitely sets the scene. Although he hasn’t dictated any of the words for our posts yet, he sure talks a lot.

      It’s great that Suzanne helps you. It’s way too difficult to be your own editor.

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Thanks, Jaime. We’re not so mushy when we argue but we’re getting better at keeping that to a minimum. Mr. G has been on a self-improvement campaign for at least the last 6 months. I need to do the same.

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Thanks, Maggie. No innuendo intended. Although, Mr. Groovy’s looking pretty good for a 54 year old, with all the working out he does.

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Thanks! I’d pick Julianne Moore since I have red hair. Mr. Groovy would like Harrison Ford (a younger, 55 year old Ford) to play him.

    • Mrs. Groovy

      Thanks, Tristan. Nope, it’s not us in the photo. We might reveal ourselves one of these days. Thanks for commenting!

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