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I know nothing about travel hacking but I want to share a huge airline tip I stumbled upon that is not very well known. It might just come in handy one day.

If you’re a member of the American Airline (AA) AAdvantage program and make a reservation using your awards miles, you can make various changes to your trip itinerary without incurring any kind of change fee! This was a huge revelation to me, especially after I spent over two hours on the phone a few months ago lying, fake-crying, and negotiating to save my family $1,000 in airline fees. Let me explain.

My mother-in-law made a reservation for a group of five traveling to my niece’s graduation. A few weeks later, my in-laws visited Mr. Groovy and me and as we discussed their plans over dinner at a restaurant, my mother-in-law pulled up her airline reservation on her phone. That’s when she realized she made an error with the dates in the reservation. When the four of us returned to our home I elected to contact AA as her advocate. And that was when we learned the airline intended to charge her for five change fees at $200 each.

My mother-in-law is not a member of the AAdvantage program so I phoned AA’s general customer service number. AA kept me on hold for forty minutes and when I finally got through, I was cut off thirty minutes into my first conversation. By the time we finished this ordeal, I had communicated with three customer service representatives—two on the phone plus one supervisor who the second rep I spoke with contacted by email. They all acted like I wanted to steal their first-born child. All I needed was help due to an innocent mistake. We wanted the same exact flights, just a week later—even the cost of the flights remained the same.

I pulled out all the stops, making up stories that my in-laws were headed for a divorce over this snafu, that my father-in-law was not well in the head after being wounded in combat—you name it. At one point, a rep said “we’ll waive two change fees” and I replied “if you can do two, why can’t you do five?” I just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finally, I succeeded, but the situation was very stressful. My mother-in-law and I needed a bottle of wine afterwards.

Now, a few months later, I learned that if the same exact sequence of events happened with the reservations, but my mother-in-law made her reservation using AAdvantage awards miles, we could have changed the flights with one short phone call. No issues. Crazy isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong. AA plays all kinds of games with the awards program too—a fact that Mr. Groovy and I quickly learned when we began planning a trip. We wanted to redeem our awards miles, which are under two separate accounts. Since you can’t book two awards flights at the same time, Mr. Groovy and I navigated through the same exact pages on AA’s website together but on two separate laptops. We went through each step of the booking process talking to each other from room to room.

We’re flying out of Charlotte, North Carolina into Spokane, Washington. We’re spending the bulk of our time at Glacier National Park and no flights go direct from here. But we don’t mind. We love driving out west and we plan to see Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, Whitefish, Montana, and last, but not least—we’re dropping in on Ms. Montana. We may even stay in her pop-up camper! (And she doesn’t know this yet but she’s going to be picking up litter with Mr. Groovy. If she informs us Montana has no litter, we’ll bring some—North Carolina has plenty.)

We found one suitable itinerary with one stop—there’s nothing direct to Spokane, either. It was available using 25,000 awards points each. As we navigated through the website and arrived at the point to click through to confirm the reservation, my screen advanced to the next page—and Mr. Groovy received a message saying the flight was no longer available. We tried this with several flights in various incarnations. Each time, either one of us couldn’t advance at all, or the number of awards miles needed to redeem the flight bumped up to the next level. Finally, we gave up on a one-stop flight and elected to go with two stops. We had no problem with that.

Afterwards, I poked around travel forums with threads about using awards miles for multiple people traveling together. In these forums I learned about the no change fee policy for the AAdvantage program flights. Since this policy is not obviously stated on AA’s website, I thought I’d verify with the AAdvantage team. I planned on calling AAdvantage customer service anyway to obtain a record locator for Alaska Air (AS). This was because our itinerary included a few legs on AS and I needed their record locator to choose seating assignments. The only way to get it is by phoning AA—yet another fact not made abundantly clear.

This time when I called AA, I used the customer service number for the AAdvantage program, not the general customer service number. I was put on hold for only two minutes and then connected to a very helpful representative. She quickly provided the record locator for our AS flights and I very nicely requested a moment of her time. She was eager to help. I explained how Mr. Groovy and I had difficulty advancing through the website for booking two flights simultaneously with one connection. And I asked whether we could change our flights for no fee if we find a better itinerary in the future using the same amount of awards points. And she said—yes, absolutely, if our route remains the same from Charlotte to Spokane.

Right now we’re sticking with the status quo. The awards flights with one stop require more miles than we have. But if I find a suitable one-stop flight in the future, rather than risking only one of us getting booked by using the online reservations, I’ll call the AAdvantage customer service number. I can provide both of our confirmation numbers and all the details for our flights. I’ll ask the rep to go through the scenarios for getting Mr. Groovy and me booked on the same flights before locking in any changes.

This is a call I won’t mind making. I won’t have to lie, cry, or negotiate to get through it. And I won’t have to drink half a bottle of wine to get over it.

76 thoughts on “That Time I Lied and Fake-Cried to Save My Family $1,000 in Airline Fees

    1. Thank, Jason. I share your preferences. I don’t get why airlines and internet providers have our hands tied. I’d love to see some disruption in both industries. It’s already happening with TV. Let’s hope some braniacs out there are developing strategies.

  1. Sad to hear that they “discriminate” and treat their customer so differently. We are all humans and makes mistakes in reservation sometimes.

    1. I don’t understand the airline industry at all. The whole model needs a change. Aside from international flights, I think we’d prefer slow travel in a camper at this point.

  2. Crazy read!

    My fiancée and I don’t really fly a lot, and don’t have any type of Travel Reward plan set up via Credit Cards.

    We may need some future advice though because I think we’re close to sealing our wedding date in the Caribbean this year!

    I think you have to fly there right??????????

    1. Thanks, Sean! Our rewards were through the airline just from flying miles. They weren’t tied to a credit card. We’ve never done any credit card hacking but we’re having a crazy thought about paying for our house build on credit cards. Gosh, that would be so complicated — which is why we never got into hacking. It’s one more project to have to track (and research).

      However, I have two recommendations for you to check out: clubthrifty.com and Travelmiles101.com. The latter has a free course I have not taken, but I’ve heard it’s a great place to start. And Holly over at Club Thrifty really knows her stuff.

  3. Hi Mrs. Groovy,

    Have seen you around, but first time on your blog.

    Dealing with airline customer service is not for the faint of heart, given how they nickle and dime us on every little thing. I envy your patience and persistence.

    Northern Idaho and Montana are some of the most beautiful places I have visited. Coeur’ d Alene is a beautiful little town, maybe stay at the Resort?

    Have a great and fun trip!

    1. Thanks, Dave. Just FYI I don’t do any travel card hacking. These points were from AA’s own program. You sign up for free and they issue you points based on the mileage of flights you take. We used them for our Montana trip but the time before that was around 3 years ago.

  4. I wouldn’t call this a travel hack or brag about it. You whined and lied over and over to get your way. Maybe the fees were unreasonable, but it sounds like you were putting the poor customer service people through hell. They have to follow policy and do their jobs too. All respect for this blog is now gone.

    1. In defence of Mrs Groovy, I am part way through a visit to the USA and wanted to extend my stay here.

      First off, change my flights home. So far I have spent 2hrs & 14mins on hold, 1 hr actual verbal contact, and have spoken to three separate sub-continent call centre drones and had three different reasons (one from each) why I can’t change my flights.

      I have had a gutsfull of airline ‘rules’ and the non-English speaking schelps they contract to do their dirty work.

      If whining, lying, and other potentially unsavoury behaviour gets you what you want with these bastards (the airlines I’m talking about) then so be it.

      My experience tells me that when dealing with companies who preach customer service yardy yardy ya, and then serve up the complete opposite, there are no civilised rules of engagement. Do what ya gotta do I say.

      Thumbs up to you Mrs Groovy.

      1. It’s nice to have friends — thank you Martin. I think Jess got indignant without taking into account that I did not, in any way, put those customer service people through hell. In fact, I was so pleasant and so thankful, that’s what kept them on the line. And the fact that they DID let me change the flights only proves that the gatekeepers on the front lines are trained to say “no, no, no” while it’s within the power of their superiors to say “yes, yes, yes.” Given the latest string of bad behavior by the airlines i.e. dragging a man off a flight, shoving pregnant mothers, etc. there’s very few people with empathy for their airlines or respect for their “policies.”

        1. Do what you gotta do.

          Sheesh, for someone who has no respect for our blog you sure have a vested interest in it. Perhaps you should start a blog of your own since you have strong opinions. I’ll be your first subscriber.

          1. I was interested, then I came across that post. Then I just returned to see if you had responded. There are very few things in this world I have strong opinions on, but lying to get your way is definitely one of them.

            I’ve often thought about creating a blog. But for now I’ll just continue reading everyone else’s, I follow a lot of them. I wish yours the best though, I do get enjoyment out of reading blogs in my down time and it does sound as if many others enjoy it even if it isn’t my cup of tea.

            1. Hey, Jess. I agree with your sentiment. I don’t like lying either. And neither does Mrs. G. But being ethical in this case would have meant my parents eating $1,000 for an innocent mistake. If American Airlines charged $10 for a change fee, Mrs. G would have never gotten involved. But American Airlines was going to charge $200 per passenger just to move the itinerary a week sooner. So, yes, Mrs. G’s lying, and my approval of that lying, was hypocritical. My only justification for our actions is that American Airlines was being obnoxious. Does it really cost them $200 to change a passenger’s flight? Thanks for reiterating your point, Jess. You’re not wrong. But to paraphrase Barry Goldwater, “Extremism in the defense of virtue is often a vice.”

  5. So glad you finally succeeded in getting those fees waived, but wow what a story! I can understand the bottle of wine after.

    Membership has its privileges…or so they say. I hope everything works out great for your trip!

    1. Thanks, Amy! It was a good excuse to drink wine, anyway.

      What’s interesting now is that we know our dates can be flexible for our MT trip. I don’t want to get crazy making unlimited changes but as we do our research we may find a good reason for adjusting.

    1. Thanks, FS! I think I mentioned previously that had I been championing for myself, I probably would have given up and failed.

  6. I would say you were persistent and lucky Mrs. Groovy! Sometimes, airlines don’t budge and I have had to pay the change fee grudgingly.

    Being put on hold for a long time and getting hung up on is also a common phenomenon here especially if you are not a frequent flyer partner.

    1. I know I had a bit of luck but I think I would have kept calling until I got someone helpful. I’d like to believe I wasn’t hung up on but rather, I was disconnected due to a glitch. You’re probably right, Michael, but I’m trying not to be cynical.

  7. Hahahaha. I love the stories you told the reps. I imagine you on the phone getting more creative and cooking up ever more dire circumstances with each subsequent phone call. Good for you for not taking no for an answer!

    1. Thanks, Mrs. BITA. As long as I had them on the phone I was going to crank out stories, each more creative than the previous one. You’re right!

  8. Good work Mrs G. All I can say is that airlines must rate at the absolute bottom for customer service in the USA. We suffer here in Oz mostly with the budget airlines like JetScum, sorry, JetStar who I will never fly with again, but the full service airlines seem to do a reasonable job.

    I’m heading your way later in the month, well Denver anyway, with Qantas to LA and then with your friends at AA to Denver.

    Hopefully I will make it there without threats of arrest or physical violence being offered to make the trip even more unforgettable.

    1. Hah! JetScum, I love it. We had a name for US Airways which merged with AA — Useless Airways.

      Have you ever been to Denver before? We were only there once briefly, for a day, before heading off to the Rocky Mountain National Park. It’s a beautiful city with a mountainous backdrop. It might be worth being dragged off a plane as long as you don’t get too hurt. #lawsuit!

  9. I’m in the Southwest camp too. Over the last few years, we have more and more options to fly Southwest from our local airport and have been happy each time we’ve flown with them.

    I’m jealous you guys get to go hang out with Ms. Montana in Glacier! We were there a couple of years ago (pre-blog, so unfortunately no visit with Ms. Montana). It is soooo incredibly beautiful there. Enjoy the trip! 🙂

    1. We were in Montana pre-blog but not in that area. We went to Bozeman, Billings and Red Lodge. That’s when we were searching for our 20 acres and really thought we could swing 2 homes. #WeWereIdiots !!!

      We’re looking forward to meeting Ms. Montana and her family.

  10. Don’t you just want to slap them upside the head for their ridiculous rules? “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you call this customer service number you’ll get crappy service, but if you call this number you’ll get the good service. Which would you prefer?”

    You will LOVE GNP, and Spokane, and Coeur D’Alene. They are all so beautiful. 🙂

    1. It’s almost like a Saturday Night Live skit!

      I’ve been wondering if Spokane is worth spending some time in. Sounds like maybe that’s a yes. We may change our dates a little (being that we can do that for free with award points, LOL). Thanks for stopping by!

      1. I think you should. When we drove through in 2015, it was right smack in the middle of the forest fires, so we hustled it through and didn’t stop, but it looked great! I have to say though that MT is my fave. 🙂

        1. So glad you stopped by our blog for the first time, Mr. ATM!

          We actually made the trip at the end of September and the weather didn’t cooperate in Coeur d’Alene. I was psyching myself up to try zip lining for the first time but it was windy, rainy, and a little too cold.

          We only spent an afternoon and evening in Spokane before we flew home the next morning. We walked around Riverfront Park and had dinner at Elk Public House, a restaurant Guy Fieri’s been to on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. We had an interesting conversation with our waitress, who relocated with her husband to start a marijuana business. Later we went to Atticus Coffee and had fun talking with a few locals. There was another coffee shop we wanted to try, which was packed! They were holding church there that evening.

  11. $1200 is SO ridiculous for a change like that. It’s no wonder everyone is pissed off at the airline industry! We have over 500,000 AA miles to use (and I think we might copy your intinerary – it sounds awesome!) I’ll need to read about all the ways to try to book their tickets because it does sound difficult. That’s why we love Southwest – incredibly easy, no fees. Glad you got that fee refunded!

    1. Pissed is another good word!

      Can you cash those miles out, Vicki? Don’t they have a use or lose policy if you don’t redeem them by a certain date?

      Another one for Southwest! I’ll look into SW for future trips, flying out of Raleigh, although I just took a quick look at Raleigh to Spokane. They’ve got nothing direct and maybe one 1-stop. The rest are 2 and 3 stops.

  12. Gotta love the airlines in general and customer service reps in particular. I’m glad it worked out that you were able to help your family.
    This is one of the reasons we stick with Southwest. They’re not perfect by any means, but their rewards system is pretty simple.
    With CSRs in general, if I reach one who clearly doesn’t care or doesn’t have two neurons firing to understand the problem, I’ll hang up and call back to talk to someone else. It’s worth the time on hold to be able to deal with someone of a higher caliber.

    1. Thanks, Julie. I think we’ll have better options available with Southwest when we move to the Raleigh area.

      I do that too — hang up, call back, and talk to someone else. In this situation I had to go back to the beginning and tell the entire story to the 2nd rep all over again. I was prepared to hang up if I got someone nasty or indifferent.

  13. It’s tough because honest mistakes DO have an impact on airlines, so I get the charge for making changes after the fact, but it’s probably best to make sure that customers are happy than to be a stickler for the rules. I don’t blame you for fake crying though – sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

    1. Yes, 2.9 billion dollars of impact in change fees! I understand they can’t have their customer service reps spending umpteen hours on the phone handling schedule changes. But at least one free change should be allowed if it’s not at the last minute. It can even be set up so that a change can only be made online. I agree that they need to figure out a way to make customers happy. People are getting disgusted.

      Thanks for stopping by, DC!

  14. Once, I booked flights for me and my husband and I didn’t notice it until right before the trip, but I had booked them BOTH under my name. Luckily, we used points because Southwest said they wouldn’t be able to change the name unless I paid in points. I don’t get why it makes a difference?

    1. That must have been quite unnerving, Michelle. That’s just nuts. The only thing I can think of based on my experience with AA is that the customer service departments for the awards programs are not as bombarded with calls as the general customer service departments. But I’m grasping at straws.

      Thanks for your comment — I appreciate you stopping by!

  15. Airlines can be brutal with ridiculous fees. I’m glad you were able to cry your way out of your mother-in-law’s dilemma, but it shouldn’t have to come to that. Glad to hear things are going smoother planning your upcoming trip…hope it’s a great one!

    1. Brutal’s a good word for it. I’m very glad I could help too, Gary. Thanks for the good wishes for the trip.

  16. Airlines = Dentist. Two of my least favorite things to deal with. Its one of the main reason we try and fly Southwest. If you can can past their open seating policy, they have no bag fees, or change fees.

    1. Many dental rates are based on the office’s zip code in NYC. I learned that about 6 dentists ago, as mine at the time was off Fifth Avenue near Central Park.

      I need to check Southwest more frequently. Do you make sure you get to the airport extremely early? My biggest fear about not having a seat assignment would be getting bumped if they over book.

      1. You check in 24 hours ahead of time with Southwest and get assigned a board group. A, B or C. We’ve never had an issue.

  17. Great story! You can often get different deals, discounts, or refunds from different customer service agents, so it can be really frustrating dealing with the ones that are so inflexible. I’ve resorted to fake crying [on the phone] with customer service too, so I can definitely relate. Thanks for sharing – makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Jen, you’re a soul-sister! No, you’re not the only fake-cryer.

      In some situations it’s just best to hang up and keep trying until you get someone willing to help. Like if you’re trying to negotiate a better rate on cable. I think many customer service reps are given the authority to be flexible. It’s just a matter of how you approach them and what information you’ve lined up to make your case.

  18. It’s funny what a difference you get from companies if you’re one of their frequent travelers. I recently had a horribly delayed and redirect business trip on my airline of choice. I wrote them a nice letter and they gave me some miles for my troubles. A quick Google shows they don’t do this for normal customers usually. It’s more for high mileage folks with status, which I fit. There is an old saying in marketing. It’s cheaper to keep a customer then get a new one. Thats why you should always signups for these programs.

    1. Thanks, FTF, that’s a good tip about how kind letters will often get you special consideration.

      I think it was easier for me to be very nice on the phone because I was fighting for someone else. I might have been more of a rude pit bull if the flights had been my own.

  19. Okay, this story bugs me. Why should you have had to lie to get decent service? It’s not like you were asking for anything special particularly, but a) charging an exorbitant amount for a simple, not last minute change should not happen b) encouraging and rewarding dishonesty should not happen. Both bug me from a fairness and an ethics POV.

    Geez. This is why we (usually) do not fly.

    1. I hear what you’re saying Emily and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I totally agree with you IN THEORY. I don’t enjoy being dishonest. But I feel it’s warranted with the airlines. They treat customers like scum (sorry Miss Mazuma, not you!)

      Any positive opinion I may have had about airlines and their ethics changed in 2001. Mr. Groovy and I had plans with a group of family and friends to go to Las Vegas at the end of September. After 9/11 a few of us were still willing to go but some were not. So we all cancelled. We could not get a refund and the airline was downright nasty about giving us a credit. We had to dance a jig just for that — AND, we had to use the credit within 12 months.

      1. Oh, I get it. I meant no criticism of you for working the system. I just hate the system that essentially punishes rule followers.

        It’s like with cable or satellite radio. Want a discount? Threaten them that you’re going to cancel to get a decent rate. Otherwise you pay 2-4 times as much. Be a “good customer” who doesn’t complain or make waves and you’re screwed.

        1. I didn’t think you were criticizing me but you can go ahead and do that by now anyway!

          Cable’s a great example. I just heard something too, I think from the Dave Ramsey show, about insurance. Since most people don’t question their policies when they renew they’re often not getting the best rates.

  20. A phrase I heard a lot in my car selling days comes to mind: buyers are liars. People will say things in order to get a better deal (myself included!). But why do companies make it so dang hard to business with them sometimes?

    Good job saving your MIL a $1,000 on those ridiculous fees

    1. What kind of lying did they tell you to do selling cars, LOL? Or is that just a myth. The one time I went car-shopping with Mr. G I freaked out. I cannot even repeat the words I used to refer to the salesperson when we left one of the dealerships.

      The major reason they make it so hard is greed. Another reason is that they can get away with it. A report came out this week on how much the airlines raked in on change fees and baggage fees in 2016. 4.2 billion on baggage and 2.9 billion on change fees (and the latter was LOWER than in 2015).

      1. I wasn’t clear: car buyers are liars 🙂 As in, “my car runs perfectly!” “I serviced my car regularly!” or “the last salesman I talked to quoted me a lower price on this car!”

        Anything to get more money for their trade in, or a lower price on the car.

        1. You were probably clearer than my head is. It didn’t compute since car buying is kind of foreign to me. Thanks for clarifying!

    1. Thanks, Erik! The “water works” help once in a while. And I was very solicitous. I kept repeating things like – you’ll be saving a marriage, you’ll be helping me out so much, thank you for staying on the phone with me, etc.

      You have a good weekend, too!

  21. What an ordeal! Definitely good info to have for any future travel with American Airlines.

    That’s so cool that you and Mr. G are going to visit Ms. Montana! Sounds like a great trip.

    1. Thank you Mrs. G. We’re so happy we’ll see Ms. Montana. And Glacier National has been on our list for a while — plus, Idaho will be the 30th state Mr. G and I visit together.

  22. I can’t believe that you’re publically stating that you’re a liar. Lying for $$, you sound like a politician! I’m absolutely crushed. Tee Hee.

    Also, you’ll LOVE your MT trip! My wife and I made the same trip a few years back. Spokane to Glacier, but without the added bonus of spending time w Ms. Montana (you know she’ll hide once she learns you expect her to pick up garbage, right?).

    One question: will AA charge you an extra bag fee for the bag of NC garbage you’re hauling out on the flight? Better start crying again….

    1. We’re very excited. You know how much we love MT and we’ve never been to that part of the state before.

      Ms. Montana’s a real trouper! I think Mr. G can convince her to don the vest.

      Of course AA would charge for the litter. We may send it ahead! No crying on this trip.

  23. Great advice. The change fees and arbitrary rules are ridiculous. We are fortunate that Southwest offers a lot of direct or at least simple flights to places we visit frequently. Their change and cancellation policies are logical and fair, everything is so much easier, and the employees seem to be happy.
    Glacier and the rest of that area is incredible. Have fun.

    1. Thanks, Mr. G. Southwest has a terminal in Charlotte but we’ve never found any flights that worked for us. And for this trip we’re paying around $75 in total to use our miles. I forget what the full flight cost would have been. Close to $600 each I believe.

      “Arbitrary” is what gets me the most. Soon we’ll be paying for using bathrooms. How will people store porta potties in the overhead bins to avoid the charge?

  24. Wait, what?!?! We have no trash here. 😉 So you might want to inquire on the charge for an extra checked bag. 😉

    But I’m SO excited your coming to visit! Even if I have to don a orange vest and trash poker. If we hike in GNP and I will pick up every single piece of trash I see, HA! There will be none. We have trained the bears to eat the tourists that litter….at least that’s what the signs say. =)

    1. And we are very excited to be meeting up with you!

      Mr. G will get an extra vest or you can wear his. Perhaps we should ship a box of litter. It’s cheaper than paying for a checked bag.

  25. Good for you!! Why do they have to complicate the simplest transaction. If the seats are available on the other flight it shouldn’t cost anything to change. It’s the touch of a few buttons for them. I understand last minute would incur a charge but not something so far out! The insanity!!! People often come on the plane asking me questions about these things and I have no idea how that side works. I hope you get a better flight for your trip and I’m soooo jealous you’re going to start at The Montanas!!! So fun!!!

    1. Thanks for sharing your opinion, Miss M. It means a lot coming from the friendliest flight attendant on the planet!

      Exactly! They’re making their wage no matter what buttons they press so why the fuss? I can see putting a limit on changes but this was ridiculous. There was plenty of time to sell out the flight.

    1. Thanks, Mrs. PP. I was glad to help my family out. Turns out they ran into trouble with the return flight, ended up renting a car and staying in a hotel overnight so they wracked up additional expenses anyway but I can’t imagine that on top of $1K.

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