When the Bison Comes Tumbling Down

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It wasn’t my finest hour.

I was beginning the “legs phase” of my bison build, and I made a fateful decision. I would cover my bison cart in plywood. This way, I wouldn’t need to be so precise about where the bison hooves would land on the cart. As long as they fell within the three-feet by ten-feet footprint of the cart, I was good.

There was a problem, of course. I had to get plywood under the temporary support legs of Becky Sue. Could I do it myself? Or should I fetch the lovely Mrs. Groovy for help?

Well, being a lazy shit, and foolishly enamored with my physical prowess, I decided to forego the long walk back to the house that getting Mrs. Groovy’s help would have required. Nope, I was a He-Man, for heaven’s sake. I would get plywood under those temporary support legs myself. After all, I only had to lift the clanking monstrosity three-quarters of an inch off the cart.

So I crouched down and placed my shoulder snuggly under the neck of Becky Sue. Then, using my sturdy frame, I began pushing Becky Sue skyward. And as soon as sufficient daylight appeared between the front temporary support leg and the cart, I began sliding a piece of plywood under the front temporary support leg.

And then disaster struck.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but I became eerily aware that something was amiss. I was losing control of Becky Sue. And out of the corner my eye, I saw that she had tilted beyond the point of no return. Becky Sue was crashing to the floor, and my only recourse at this point was to get out of the way.

The good news is that Becky Sue didn’t injure me in the crash. The bad news is that I tried to right Becky Sue myself, and this only made things worse. Yep, in the process of lifting Becky Sue off the ground and getting her back on her temporary support legs, the back temporary support leg snapped.

As I said, it wasn’t my finest hour.

Quick Aside: My guess is that Becky Sue weighs between 350 and 400 pounds. And the force of her striking the garage floor produced such a thud, Mrs. Groovy heard it from inside the house. Damn, no one ever said building a scrap-metal bison was going to be easy. 

Groovy Brother and Groovy Jim to the Rescue

It’s amazing what three pairs of hands can do.

I reached out to my brother and my friend Jim and asked them if they were willing to flout social distancing and help me right Becky Sue. Not surprisingly, they couldn’t wait to thumb their noses at the Wuhan flu and risk contagion.

So last Saturday they came over and we righted Becky Sue in about 15 seconds. They then suggested I add some extra support to make sure Becky Sue never topples again. Check it out.

Groovy Brother and Groovy Jim were godsends. Without their help, Becky Sue would still be broken and leaning pathetically against our storage shelves. I hope the pizza, beer, and laughter that followed the bison raising was a suitable way to register my heartfelt thanks.

Portfolio Update

On March 25, our portfolio was down $348,000 from its February high. The Wuhan flu pandemic was exacting a heavy toll.

And since I’ve quaffed much of the FIRE Kool-Aid, I did what any wily investor would do in a time of crisis. I remained calm, recognized the tremendous buying opportunity at hand, and rebalanced our portfolio accordingly.

All told, Mrs. Groovy and I exchanged $110,000 worth of total bond index funds for total stock index funds. And as of today, our portfolio is down $131,000 from its February high.

In a little less than two months, then, we’ve recouped over $200,000 in paper losses. The system works!

Final Thoughts

Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. My stupidity idled the bison build for about two weeks. I was hoping to have Becky Sue all framed out by the end of May. But that’s not going to happen. The estimated frame completion is now set for mid-June. I’ll keep you posted. Peace.