Bison Build Milestone

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Hallelujah! The rebar scaffolding for the bison is finally complete. Now it’s just a matter of covering the beast with scrap metal.

When I told my welding instructor about my plans to weld a life-sized bison out of scrap metal, he predicted it would take me at least a year. And I thought he was nuts.

Well, my welding instructor proved to be very wise. I started my bison project in January. It’s now October, of course, and I figure I need at least another four months to finish.

Damn! No one ever said welding a life-sized scrap-metal bison was going to be easy on my mind, body, and—above all else—time!!

But even though my bison project has proved to be far more difficult than I imagined it would be, I have absolutely no regrets. In fact, I’m pretty proud of myself. I mean, c’mon. I’m just a middle-aged schlub who took an introductory welding course at the local community college. And, yet, despite my marginal welding skills and marginal familiarity with bison anatomy, Becky Sue looks like a freaking bison. Check out these comparison pictures.

Here’s Becky Sue compared to the bison silhouette the project was based on.

Here’s the front of Becky Sue compared to the front of an actual bison.

And here’s the backend of Becky Sue compared to the backend of an actual bison.

How to Become a Problem-Solver

If you want to become a problem-solver, find projects. I was certainly aware of the link between solving problems and projects, but my bison-build really drove home this connection. To show what I mean, let’s look at my incredibly lame weight-calculating skills.

When I was buying wheels for the bison cart, I had to estimate what Becky Sue was going to weigh. And I figured the completed beast would weigh a couple of hundred pounds. After all, how much could a 6×9 foot clanking monstrosity of metal weigh? So I bought six wheels rated at 75 pounds each. Six times 75 equals 450 pounds.

Well, 450 pounds proved to be widely off. Here’s what Becky Sue currently weighs.

• The 600 linear feet of half-inch rebar that were used to make the scaffolding weigh roughly 405 pounds.
• The 18 square feet of 16-gauge sheet metal that were used to make the bison silhouette weigh roughly 45 pounds.
• And let’s not forget the weight of the cart itself. Sixty-five linear feet of 2x4s, 30 square feet of three-quarter-inch plywood, and 30 square feet of 16-gauge sheet metal altogether weigh roughly 200 pounds.

The weight of Becky Sue plus the cart is currently 650 pounds. Is it any wonder that my 75-pound rated wheels started disintegrating around a month ago?

Okay, disintegrating wheels weren’t an option. I needed my bison cart to remain mobile. What to do? How was I to get more sturdy wheels underneath the bison cart? I had no means to lift the bison cart off the ground. And tipping the bison on its side didn’t seem feasible either. I certainly couldn’t do that by myself, and even if I could, doing so might put too much stress on the beast and break some of its welds.

Needless to say, I was at a loss. And, finally, after a few days of ruminating, my problem-solving muscles sprung into action. Attach wheels that were rated much higher than 75 pounds to the underside of a 2×4 and then attach that 2×4 to the side of the bison cart. Check it out.

I now have 8 175-pound rated wheels attached to the bison cart and those combined wheels should be able to handle up to 1,400 pounds. My disintegrating wheel problem is now a thing of the past. And who or what should I thank for my incredible problem-solving skills? Is it the third-tier graduate school that awarded me a phony-baloney degree in public administration? Or is it my penchant for busying myself with projects? I let you decide.

Final Thoughts

Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. Let me know what you think of Becky Sue when you get a chance. And have a kick-ass weekend. Peace.