Freedom Is Groovy

Can the Non-Woke Play the Ex-Post Facto Morality Game?

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Mr. Groovy
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I would like to take this moment to thank Christopher Columbus, the greatest migrant in the history of the world. If it weren’t for him, the greatest country in the history of the world, the United States of America, would have never been founded, and the world today would be far less wealthy and far more unjust.

I would also like to apologize on behalf of Native Americans. If they weren’t so close-minded and bigoted, they wouldn’t have made life so difficult for Christopher Columbus and all the other European migrants who followed him. Surely they knew that diversity is an unassailable good. If you want to grow stronger, you always bend the knee to the new, you always reject your culture for an alien culture. Everyone knows this. But Native Americans had too much hate in their hearts. Rather than celebrate the migrants who were only trying to better themselves, they turned on them. They instigated a clash of civilizations that hampered the creation and development of the United States and therefore delayed by decades the wonderous science and technology that Americans graciously shared with the world. Shame on Native Americans. In the name of diversity, equity, and inclusion, we need to rename every state, city, and town named after a Native American tribe.

Comments

7 responses to “Can the Non-Woke Play the Ex-Post Facto Morality Game?”

  1. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    This is a late delayed compliment. What a great post! And your replies to the comments made me laugh. And think!

    Reply
  2. Steve Poling Avatar
    Steve Poling

    If you only read the first half of the Bible, you’ll see that the evil Canaanites were displaced by the evil Israelites who were displaced by the evil Assyrians who were displaced by the evil Babylonians. If you pick up history from there, you’ll learn the evil Babylonians were displaced by the evil Greeks who were displaced by the evil Romans who were displaced by the evil Goths. There’s a pattern you should see in this. If you think the Indians were all sunshine and rainbows, look at how they warred against each other. And the most civilized among them built pyramids in which to conduct human sacrifices of those they defeated in war… Until evil Spaniards came along and stopped them. Evil folks are displaced by evil folks.

    If you object that the Canaanites through Spaniards weren’t all that evil, you’re right. Solzhenitzyn wrote that the line between good and evil runs through the heart of every man.

    We’re raised in a culture defined by principalities and powers that aren’t all bad or all good. It’s our job to start with what we have then cultivate the goodness in ourselves and deprecate the evil in ourselves. And after we clean up our rooms we can offer advice to those closest about cleaning theirs. C. S. Lewis wrote about getting your own life ship-shape, then getting the squadron within which we sail well ordered.

    Then we can hand our grandchildren a culture that’s just enough less-evil to survive competition with all those savage barbarians outside the gates. And displace them.

    Reply
    1. Mr. Groovy Avatar
      Mr. Groovy

      Steve, are you saying that white people aren’t morally inferior to people of color? Are you putting forth the proposition that ALL people, regardless of their race or ethnicity, are cursed with an evil gene that they have to struggle daily to subdue? My gut says your comment displays a tremendous amount of wisdom. But my intellectual superiors, our woke overlords, say your comment is nothing but rank blasphemy. People of color are no better than white people morally? That’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I mean, c’mon. Look at how better our cities become when people of color are put in charge. Corrupt, inefficient, and plundering government disappears over night. I’m afraid you’re off your game today, Steve. You sound like a white nationalist. But since I know this is an abberation for you, I won’t report you to the authorities. Peace, my friend.

      Reply
  3. Jon Avatar
    Jon

    I don’t know which one is right. There is no doubt that the White Europeans did come to the New World and made just about all the great things we enjoy today, but I do feel some pity for those that were here first and lost this great land. On the bright side I am closer to the finish than the start by a wide margin and expect to be in a place where there will be better and nicer things to think about.

    Reply
    1. Mr. Groovy Avatar
      Mr. Groovy

      Jon, you’re thinking too rationally. Don’t you know that our woke overlords have decreed that we, from our infinitely less precarious circumstances, have the right—and the duty—to judge past peoples, countries, and civilizations by today’s standards? That’s what ex-post facto morality is all about. And if we judge Native Americans by today’s standards, we have no choice but to judge them harshly. Not only did they engage in slavery, torture, and genocide, but they steadfastly refused to embrace diversity, equity, and inclusion. Can you name one Native American chief who was of European descent? Can you name one Native American chief of any renown who was female, gay, or non-binary? You’re a good person, Jon, and I appreciate your contribution to our conversation. But you have to be a little more woke. If you continue to think rationally, someone may mistake you for a fascist.

      Reply
  4. Jeff D Avatar
    Jeff D

    Bravo!!, while doing a slow clap.

    Reply
    1. Mr. Groovy Avatar
      Mr. Groovy

      Thank you, JD. We love slow claps here at Freedom Is Groovy.

      Reply

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