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No, there’s no typo in the title—I really mean signing for your supper.
You may already be familiar with the expression “sing for your supper,” which refers to entertainers who perform like trained monkeys in exchange for food. (Before anyone finds fault with my reference, I was a trained monkey, too.) But y’all have seen the folks who “sign” for their supper. You know the people I’m referring to. They may be on the side walk or grassy area near a strip mall, holding a large “Going out of Business” sign or one with a large arrow pointing to a store with HUGE sales. Or they might be weighed down with a wearable sandwich board, turning themselves into human billboards.
Or how about those guys and gals dressed in a green Lady Liberty gown and a Styrofoam crown, who wave at us to come on in and get our taxes done!
Have you ever wondered what causes someone to take a job like that? Do you think these folks have a choice or do they perform this work out of dire necessity? Many of us might shudder to imagine our skills being so limited that we are forced to carry a sign for money. Or our funds being so low we need to take on “menial” work.
Impossible, you say? You sound like Mr. Groovy. He always says,“We got this!” when it comes to funding our retirement—but do we?
I dislike taking anything for granted. Something awful could happen to anyone. It could certainly happen to me. The market tanks. The Social Security Administration stops paying benefits. I lose my health insurance. A hurricane wipes out my house and community. Or perhaps I have a terrible accident, or worse.
I listen to Dave Ramsey frequently. I hear many of his same stories over and over, and his “better than I deserve” response to callers asking him “How are you?” But I heard this story for the first time a few months ago.
One day, when Dave was a kid, he and his friends were hanging out on the street and saw a guy running through the neighborhood—a big, overweight guy. They began to notice him running every day. This was before jogging became a craze and they were very intrigued by this guy. After a few weeks, they called the guy over and asked him, “what’s up with all the running?” The guy said, “It’s simple. My doctor told me I’ll die if I don’t lose weight.” Sure enough, they watched him run by week after week and he dropped pound after pound.
That man took the sign saying “you will die” seriously. Mr. Money Mustache would call that a hair on fire moment. Who knows how many diets and exercise programs the man previously tried, or whether his family repeatedly begged him to lose weight. But when faced with death, he finally took action to change his predicament.
Dave segued this story into a conversation—well, more like a RANT, about how we do not PAY ATTENTION to the signs telling us we’re heading towards a path of financial ruin.
Are there signs in your life, financial or otherwise, you’re choosing not to notice? There were several in ours that could have led to ruination had we not paid attention in the nick of time.
Folks, don’t wait for the bottom to drop out. Pay attention to the signs so you don’t end up signing for your supper.
Get it?
Signs we chose not to notice
Woodpecker in the walls
A few months ago I thought I was going crazy. Every night after dinner, I began hearing this rat-a-tat-tat sound emanating from one of our kitchen walls. Mr. Groovy spent time upstairs writing after we cleared the dishes so he didn’t notice it. When he’d join me in the living room later, we’d listen to the radio or a podcast and I’d forget about the sound. This went on for several weeks.
Then one evening Mr. Groovy delayed his after-dinner writing session, and he too heard the sound. He became alarmed! He thought perhaps we had a rodent living behind the wall. But I was positive the sound was more mechanical. What could it be? I began referring to the sound as our woodpecker.
I turned to Google and YouTube and soon realized the rat-a-tat-tat was a sign that one of our GFCI electrical outlets in the kitchen was dying. Now I became alarmed! While a rodent would have a difficult time starting a fire, a failing GFCI outlet could easily start one. Within a few days we got an electrician to replace the outlet and the noise stopped. (I insist on one DIY rule in this household: no playing with electricity. Besides, we made good use of the electrician’s time as he fixed several switches.)
Our nemesis: the front porch
We’ve had separation issues with our front porch here in North Carolina for several years—that is, portions of our front porch are separating and water damage is accumulating. This can become a structural issue if not taken care of. Mr. Groovy did some additional caulking a few years ago but didn’t realize the extent of the problem.
The real fix involves a lengthy process we’re still in the middle of. Luckily, we dodged a bullet and the expense and damage are not as great as we feared. But we want to sell this sucker, soon, and in good consciousness we could not put it on the market, even if it might get past an inspection. And water damage is insidious; the longer you wait to deal with the problem, the worse it becomes.
Skin rash 101
I made an appointment with a dermatologist for a small, unattractive mole on my face Mr. Groovy was harping on me getting removed. Since my wifely duties drove me to fill up Mr. Groovy’s dance card with medical appointments he neglected over the years, he drew a line in the sand—YOU do something for ME! But I digress.
I also had a rash on my neck that was annoying me. I treated it with cortisone cream and didn’t give it much thought. My complexion is extremely fair, I have numerous food and skin allergies, and I sweat when we walk in the sun—no alarms went off.
When the dermatologist took one look at me, she said, “I think the mole on your face is nothing. I think the rash on your neck is skin cancer.” Holy sh*t. She did a biopsy and she was correct. Two weeks later a huge chunk of my neck was sliced off. OK, I’m being dramatic, it was a two-inch excision that needed stitches and took over a year to heal. The first few months were a real pain because it was difficult to keep the spot covered up outdoors. Bandages don’t like sticking to the neck.
I’m happy to report the cancer was basal cell which is a very typical outcome for a fair skinned person who was heavily exposed to the sun 20+ years ago. But, if left neglected, basal cell can spread and cause further damage to skin and bone, and lead to disfigurement. I’ve been on a six-month dermatologist visitation schedule for the past two years with no additional cancer detection. After an appointment this week I can go back to yearly visits if I’m all clear.
High-Cost New York
And all of the following were signs we could no longer afford New York—signs we should have seen sooner:
We had no money to invest
After paying our monthly expenses in New York we had little left over to invest. Mr. Groovy and I were both in our 40s when we married and although we understood the “pay yourself first” concept, we had no means to follow through with it.
Crazy housing and transportation expenses
We paid over $4,500 a month in expenses (they’re under $3,000 now, and that includes budgeting $10K annually for vacations). We had a mortgage, home owners’ association (HOA) fees, an additional assessment for building maintenance, homeowners’ insurance, and mandatory flood insurance. Car insurance was high as well. And for the lovely privilege of me taking the smelly Long Island Railroad to work, we paid over $2,000 a year. We couldn’t catch a break. Heck, even though we were spending more and more time at work and commuting, our electric bill kept growing like The Blob. Thank you, LIPA.
No money for social events
Any invitation from friends usually meant spending money—money we didn’t have. Try going out with a group of friends in Manhattan or on Long Island for a bite or a few drinks without spending at least $50. Knowing what we know now, we could have pulled it off. But back then we didn’t have the courage or the spirit to explain our financial situation. We didn’t have the backbone to say “meet us at Starbucks” or invite friends over for a potluck dinner and beer.
Our light bulb moment
Our 2003 property tax bill was the death knell for New York.
In 2003 we received a property tax bill for $5,400. Previously we’d been paying around $3,700. Mr. Groovy turned to me and said, “Do you want to get out of New York?” I replied “hell yeah!” I was actually doing mental back flips because I already wanted to leave but I never even suggested it. Mr. Groovy still had so much family and extended family in the area, I didn’t think he’d go for it.
It took that tax bill to force us to see the tell-tale signs that we just had to leave New York. Our three-year countdown to relocate began. That’s another story.
What signs do you choose not to notice?
Is the company you work for downsizing employees by the dozens?
When was the last time you improved your job skills? Moving up from MS DOS and floppy disks to a windows operating system doesn’t count. And neither does learning how to mount your iPhone to a selfie stick.
Are you worried that your rent continues to go up and up while your paycheck doesn’t keep pace?
What about the infrastructure where you live? Are the roads and other services keeping up with the population? Or are people leaving your town? Is crime on the rise? What’s the unemployment rate?
Is your emergency fund plummeting but your emergencies are rising? Or perhaps you don’t have an emergency fund? We didn’t. In New York we had absolutely no margin for error.
Final Thoughts
Mr. Groovy and I walk every day in a town park. It’s the same park where he does his Talking Trash with Mr. Groovy episodes. A few times a week we see a very large, older man on the path. He kinda reminds me of the guy in Dave Ramsey’s story, except he can barely walk. He huffs and puffs and has to stop along the way to sit down or lean on a post to catch his breath. Recently we crossed paths and he was so red in the face, I asked him if he was alright. He smiled gently and said “I’m alive”.
I think he got the sign.
Do you need help recognizing the financial signs life is giving you? Or interpreting them?
Do you need help with your financial behavior?
Mr. Groovy and I would like to help. We’re not trained in any professional way to provide guidance. We can only listen and tell you what we would do.
If you’d like to contact either one or both of us, email me at:
mrsgroovy@freedomisgroovy. com
We’d be glad to answer questions by email or jump on Skype for a conversation.
Great post. Life happens. Like you, I try to take a proactive approach to our house, health, and finances. If you don’t stay current with those life situations, it does not take long to fall behind. It is also easier to stay current than to let issues pile up.
Thanks, Dave!
I’m good with the health front and Mr. G is on top of our finances and home. But I’m behind at this moment with scheduling our eye exams that are way overdue. Gotta jump on that this week!
Home maintenance is something I tend to put off. Our HVAC has been broken for years and I just didn’t feel like fixing it. We don’t really need it because the weather isn’t that bad here in Portland. Until this summer… We had a huge wild fire and the air quality was terrible. I really wish we had AC then. I’ll get it fix soon.
After living in apartments most of my life I was pretty dense when it came to home maintenance. I remember my father had a small bucket with a hammer and a screwdriver in it — but my mom had to call the superintendent of our building to hang a picture on the wall!
What a shame about the fires! I believe the ones by you were started by a kid with a cigarette?
Mr. Groovy has been insistent in our home(s) to sign on with an HVAC service, and to change out the filters frequently. Both of those things extend the life of your system. Don’t wait too much longer! It should be cheaper to get it fixed in the winter as opposed to the summer, too.
Great reminder, Mrs. Groovy!
I’m really intrigued by the call-out at the end where you’re offering help. I think it’s so great that you two are offering up your time to help people who could use some guidance. I’m sure you’re going to make a big impact!
Thanks, Chris. I hope we have some takers on the call-out. I’m especially interested in hearing from folks in their 40s who haven’t saved and think they’ll never retire.
The biggest sign that I was missing was realizing that I was drowning at work. I run my own private practice, doing all the treating, administration, billing, mentoring, scheduling, etc myself. I hit a few crazy months and although I typically love what I do, I was waking up in the morning not wanting to go to work. It took awhile, but I realized that I needed help. I have just hired my first employee and although it is some additional work up front, I know that it will ultimately help in the long term. Oh and I now officially have “I Saw the Sign” stuck in my head. Ace of Base anyone?
I had to look up Ace of Base. Thanks for reminding me how old I am! 😅
I would imagine it being quite difficult to dole out responsibilities to someone else when you’re building a practice yourself. You want everything to be perfect and you think someone else may not be as conscientious as you. But for some of the administrative tasks it’s not that risky. Good for you that you hired someone!
So nice to see a post from you again Mrs. G. I’m happy you saw and listened to these signs! I definitely think we all could be a little more tied into our intuition. Slowing down and paying attention should help. Thanks for the great reminder.
I hope your Montana trip was fantastic!
Thanks, Amy. The trip was great. But more importantly, it allowed me to untangle my emotions a bit since we’ve returned. The last two months have been a rough ride.
Definitely my job – I’m a very loyal person and just assumed that this position was the only one that would pay me enough so we could meet our goals. I have been so miserable and depressed for years, but refused to acknowledge the signs that change is necessary.
It’s been really bad since returning from my most-recent maternity leave. Fortunately, a good friend had a heart to heart with me about our current situation. She said, “The first thing you need to do is accept that you have to leave XYZ.” I needed that. Now, I’m looking into all sorts of different possibilities and feeling much more optimistic about the years we have left until financial semi-independence.
How wonderful that your friend had that heart-to-heart with you. I could tell from your posts that going back to work as you knew it, after this last pregnancy, was going to destroy your soul. I was hoping you’d come to the realization that something had to give.
This whole FI thing is tricky, especially when you’re younger. You have to enjoy the ride as much as the destiny. What good is saving money and being frugal if you have decades of misery ahead of you? We all like to see the light at the end of the tunnel but yours was much too far away!
Great post, Mrs. G!
The importance of health signs can’t be underestimated … so glad you got that skin cancer taken care of!
I had some chronic pain issues a few years ago that were a huge wake up call. It wasn’t until I’d been in physical therapy for a while that I realized how much the physical pain had affected my overall well-being. So happy to be on the other side now!
Neglected health problems can have a huge impact on financial health, too.
Thanks for this reminder to watch for the signs!
Thanks, Mrs. Grumby. I’m glad you had that issue taken care of.
Pain and other sensations are tricky, especially when you lived with them for a while. I remember when I started getting treated for allergies (again, as an adult – I had years of treatment as a kid that did nothing). And the first time I breathed through both nostrils was when I realized I hadn’t been doing that for years.
Mr. Groovy had an incident a few years ago where his legs felt numb. He first told me about it after it went on for weeks. That was when I knew he was concerned. I asked him a barrage of questions, did some research and learned he could have a vitamin deficiency, bought vitamins, an ice/hot pack, etc. Finally, I asked him about the squats he was doing and he told me he did them consecutively for twenty minutes!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? I asked him. You can do 20 squats but not 20 minutes straight. Once he stopped, the feeling in his legs came back.
First off, I am sooooo glad you are ok!! Skin cancer is not something to mess with or take lightly. This post may have given someone a sign to check out their moles or rash so thank you!!
Second, I love everything about this post! Being able to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves (or our house, car, investments, etc) is a sign of true maturity. To swallow our pride and know it all ways and fix what needs fixing. The outlet (I agree on never working on my own electric after shocking myself a fe times!), the rash, the obscene living expenses. We can control the outcome of these things before they take over if we just get out of our own way!!
I may have spoken too soon. I had my checkup yesterday and the doctor removed a tiny growth on my rib cage, which would be a strange place for basal cell. She wasn’t totally alarmed. She said it can go either way. Still, we scheduled my next checkup for a year out and we’ll see when the results come back in a few days.
Great line – “check before we wreck”!!!
Oh no!! Keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Aren’t bodies are weird? Who knows what is going on half the time?! Good to hear she wasn’t totally alarmed. Keep me posted!!
I know of one person that took a signing job for the Liberty Tax (statue of liberty signers) because they were “embarrassed” to work fast food. It comes down to personal preferences, but, to me, dressing up and waving to people on the road is more embarrassing.
We all need someone to show us the sign to improve something in our life that we are ashamed to admit. Being proactive with my personal life is one area I fall short as I generally focus on work and am perfectly happy doing nothing around the house when I’m all caught up for the day or the week. Thankfully, my wife is much better at scheduling social engagements, but, relationships aren’t one-way and after focusing so much on money and climbing the ladder, I’ve realized the importance of having friends and family.
I’ve heard of folks working fast food, but in a different neighborhood than the one they live in, so that no one they know will see them. I’m with you, though. I’d feel like more of an idiot dressed in a Lady Liberty outfit waving at people.
I think a lot of jobs are so draining, whether they’re high stress, or just plain boring. It’s hard to have energy for anything else, sometimes. I’m glad you have a good wife to keep you in check!
Glad you are OK! That is scary. I do think people ignore “signs” too long. My brother ignored a pull in his side forever and it turned out to be stage 4 colon cancer (he’s OK). I’m having the worst trouble sleeping and I’m trying to do everything I can to figure out what the problem is and/or do something to help it. I know that lack of sleep can take years off your life an can actually be dangerous. Thank you for reminding me to have courage to say no to expensive friend outings too!
Wow, your brother dodged a bullet! Not too many people first diagnosed at stage 4 live to tell. I’m so happy for you and your family.
I’ve read some of your posts about your sleep issue, but not all of them. So I won’t presume to give you any tips but I’ve had issues, too. Please email me if you’d like to discuss. If nothing else maybe the boredom from emails would put you to sleep?
Mrs G! It’s been a while! Glad to hear that you are doing fine and the skin rash was taken care of early.
It’s so true. We only get into full blown panic mode once sh*t hits the fan. It has to shock us, in order for us to take action.
This happens to me a lot, I tend to always think that there’s still “time.” But I guess this mindset is a sign I need to pay attention to. I’m definitely going to be working towards changing this!
Thanks, Terence. Yes it has been a while. I’m coming out of a funk I haven’t written about. I don’t know if I will. I probably will even though I don’t think it’s that interesting but it’s important to show readers our foibles.
Time is so relative. There are many things that put us in panic mode that are often not important — at least that’s true for me. But health needs to be a priority and it’s way too easy to take good health for granted.
Great post Mrs. G! I’m fearful that I will have skin cancer at some point too. The 80’s were a time of baby oil and as dark of a tan as we could get. And my Irish skin will pay for it at some point. I think I’ve missed signs in the past, but I’ve gotten better over time. One that we still miss on occasion is stress from taking on too many things. Once we get settled in our new house – we are going to really start reigning things in. It’s easy to get excited about project after project, but the stress comes out in other ways.
Thanks, Vicki. I found it strange that the cancerous spot only looked like an allergic rash to me. Good thing Mr. G was considering my vanity with that mole on my face. Otherwise I would have put off the doctor visit.
It will be interesting to see how you adapt to retirement. Hard to believe we’re coming up on one year.
I’m so glad you’ve noticed your signs and have taken action on them. I’m pretty clear-sighted on my finances. However, I have to admit, when it comes to my health, I noticed the signs and acted on them, and then gradually let things slide again. Sometimes it’s difficult to hang on to that lightbulb moment in the long term. I’m going to have to start taking action again because I’m not sure how many signs I’m going to get.
I think about how many signs are left too, Gary. When we visited Montana, looking at those mountains, glaciers, and sky, and realizing how we’re only on this planet for a nano-second kind of puts it in perspective.
I stole Ramsey’s “Better than I deserve” line about 20 years ago. I get a couple different responses when I say that. 1) Christians will knowingly nod and say, “aren’t we all.” 2) Others look confused. Though Mr. Ramsey is correct when he references divine grace, I spare the Bible thumping and reply, “If I think I’m doing worse than I deserve, I’ll feel angry. And this way I feel grateful. I’d rather feel grateful.”
And there I was thinking Dave was so witty. I sort of assumed there was a biblical reference there but I don’t know the precise source.
I’d rather feel grateful, too. And humble.
Thanks for your comment, Steve.
Hey Mrs. G. Glad you got your skin taken care of, and that everything looks good for now.
I don’t know that I’m bad at spotting the signs, but I am occasionally less good about acting on them. Maybe I tend to see most of them more as “Yield” or “Yellow Light” than STOP, even when part of me knows better.
(That said, don’t underestimate the damage animals can do in our walls, especially squirrels and mice. They can indeed get in the wiring and start house fires.)
Ahh, yes, the yield sign. You’re smart enough to see it but not motivated to do something about it at the time. But ultimately you do, Emily. You follow through on facing challenges.
Good point I overlooked about rodents — I hope you didn’t learn that through experience.
Great post-Mrs.G. We ignored our signs for years before we hit rock bottom and finally decided to get out of debt. I wish we would have acted sooner.
I hope other avoiding the signs will reach out to you. Sometimes we just need a little push.
I wish we could have acted sooner on saving. But we learned how, and that’s something.
I hope some folks reach out, too. I’d like to do some good for others, just the way you are in your community.
Listening to the signs is key. I have seen so many people who have heart attacks and then finally see the sign and change their habits. Unfortunately there is a small portion who have heart attacks and still go on with their smoking, steak eating, cough sitting ways…can’t get through to everyone I suppose.
DDD, Mr. Groovy and I can relate. His grandfather had bladder cancer and still smoked cigarettes (which is a major contributor to bladder cancer). And like a dope, I believed him when he left the house to “go get the mail”. Yeah, he was getting the mail, just like Mr. Groovy’s aunt was “doing laundry” when she was outside smoking. I fell for that one too. (Yes Aunt J. — if you’re reading this I’m talking about you.)
My oldest son’s first job ever was as a sign spinner for a store I worked at. The boss paid him $10 cash at the end of each shift, and he thought that was pure magic. Walking home with $40 for a 14 year old kid was too cool.
Sometimes we need to notice the signs. His sign to get a job was me saying he no longer got an allowance for helping with chores. He would help like the rest of the family and work like the rest of the family.
He fought and complained for 2 weeks, but held a job all through high school after that.
What a great lesson, Ms. M. I like that you chose to give him an allowance when he was young, but cut it off when he was old enough to work.
It’s all relative. I worked handing out samples in the street and at trade shows in the 80s. But I was hired through a promotional modeling agency and made good money. And people were nice to us because we were giving out freebies.
I think Fritz shared my sentiments best about work at this stage of my life. In his interview on the Choose FI Podcast (ep. 43) he spoke of possibly working for Amazon sometime, packing up boxes during the Christmas season — not because he needs to, but because it might be fun. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all choose to work only when we find it interesting? That’s a classic version of FI to me. And paying attention to the signs helps you get there.
Mrs G, great to see a post from you, I enjoy “your voice”. SOOO glad you listened to Mr G and got the cancerous rash resolved.
I golfed last night with a guy who once weighed 384 pounds. He’s lost 105 pounds, and said he’s never felt better in his life. We played 9 holes, and we walked (“No carts for me”, he said, “I walk every time I play golf.”) He eats vegetables for most meals, and monitors calorie intake religiously. He got the sign, and he’s responding.
You’re both alive, because you paid attention to the signs. Great message.
Awww, Fritzer. Thanks!
Your friend made an amazing turnaround! Now he’s eating right and incorporating lifestyle changes. I bet his back hurts a lot less after a round of golf, too.
Oh my gosh, Mrs. Groovy, RIGHT ON. We stuck our heads in the sand and ignored the signs for years. Even now it’s tempting to do so as we drop from “terrifyingly horrible debt situation” to “not nearly as bad as it used to be”, but we keep on scaring ourselves into not spending money by imagining “what if” scenarios. Denial is a very easy place to live in, but it can turn into hell on earth real quick.
Laurie, we need to make you an honorary Groovy! Right on! Keep on trucking!
Denial is only easy if you stay there. But the rational mind knows we need to face the music sooner or later. And sooner is so much easier in the long run. Later not only makes the situation worse, but you have to deal with all that internal stress building up when you know you’re not doing the right thing.
Very good point. Too often it’s easier to bury your head in the sand and say “Let’s just see what happens” instead of taking action.
Love that you talked about getting your mole checked! People don’t go to the dermatologist enough at all.
Y’all, I got a suspicious mole removed and it took, like, five minutes. Don’t neglect annual derm exams! This is how my sis removed her skin cancer before it became a problem.
It’s way too easy to put off the yearly dermatology visit. But my father was very fair, too, and he needed Moh’s surgery. And the stories I’ve heard of melanoma left untreated are extremely frightening.
Glad to hear your sister is OK!