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Soon after Mr. Groovy and I quit our jobs I wrote about retirement bliss. A few months later I shared the six horrifying truths no one tells you about retirement. I wasn’t sure what to expect after that. Now, nine months into horrifying bliss, I’m happy to divulge the five surprising perks of retirement I’ve found.
Your phone doesn’t ring
We expected our phone would ring constantly after retiring. We thought our friends would assume we were sitting around eating Bon-Bons and twiddling our thumbs. In retrospect, our expectation makes no sense because all of our friends are still working. Even so, given we have no more mandatory conference calls, the Groovy household is awfully quiet.
In fact, the Groovy household is so removed from phone-induced interruptions, we thought nothing of leaving our land line plugged in and our cell phones left on while Mr. Groovy participated in a taping of Stacking Benjamins. Because really, who calls us? The town crier from Oyster Bay (Mr. Groovy’s former coworker) who checks in with Mr. Groovy once a week and reports on who’s retiring, who’s been indicted, and who’s passed away? Our wretched cable company that keeps trying to sell us services we don’t need or want?
And you might remember my love/hate relationship with Mr. Phone, which was more hate than love. So I’m not crying over no one calling me. The sound of a phone can still make my teeth grate.
No one cares that you’re retired
Many people agonize over what they’re going to tell people when they retire. They feel awkward or inept when it comes to answering the “What do you do?” question now that they no longer work. I’ve read numerous stories in the Mr. Money Mustache forums of folks badgered on a daily basis by neighbors about their lack of gainful employment. Check out this thread with 108 responses: “Was called useless because I don’t have a job – rant alert.” Another thread called “Dealing with hostility post FIRE” is equally disturbing. The psychological drama can get pretty intense. Fortunately that has not been our experience, at all.
Perhaps we don’t face these issues because we stopped working at an age more closely associated with normal retirement than most of those in the FIRE community? (Yes, Vicki, we are that old!) Whatever the reason, honestly, no one cares. Our friends and family are happy for us, of course, but when we mention in passing to an acquaintance that we both retired last year on the same day, the response is, “Oh that’s nice.”
You don’t think about the job you left
OK, so this one is NOT so surprising. I didn’t expect I’d think much about my job, but I’m thoroughly amused by just how little my former work life crosses my mind. The old job seems light years away. I receive an occasional LinkedIn invite from someone who missed the line I added to my profile about retiring in 2016. I also exchange email every once in a while with two former co-workers. But we catch up on life. They know better than to fill me in on their war stories. I didn’t care about the gossip and the politics when I was employed, and I certainly don’t want to hear any of it now.
You learn to embrace no-shower days
Mr. Groovy already mastered this habit before we retired, but I was late to the party. I even scoffed at him—but now I’m a believer too.
Since we worked our W2 jobs from home prior to retiring, we took our daily walks during lunch. When we returned, we grabbed a bite and Mr. Groovy was happy to wait for a break in his afternoon schedule to shower. But when he couldn’t find the time, he made an executive decision and declared it a no-shower day. I always needed my shower and coffee to start the day and to face my email barrage.
Now that we don’t work, we take our walks earlier in the morning. Since I’m very fair and always wear sunscreen, I’m not only drenched with sweat after we walk, I’m sticky with melted sunscreen. It seems silly for me to shower upon waking and then again two hours later. So I put it off until we return from our walk. But every now and then I get sidetracked, and I don’t shower immediately when we return. So then I figure I’ll stay in my smelly workout clothes and do a YouTube exercise video. Then, before I know it, it’s lunch time. After lunch, I get preoccupied with writing or reading. Then dinner time rolls around, and I think—oh screw it. I, too, can declare it a no-shower day. Am I not the fabulous Mrs. Groovy, after all?
You meet a lot of dogs
We walk every day in Crooked Creek Park, the same park where Mr. Groovy picks up trash. And practically every day we meet a new dog. Our first new furry friend was Kelsie, a golden retriever. Since then we’ve met dozens of retrievers, labs, terriers, and an adorable spaniel. Crooked Creek is a fairly new park with a large dog run that’s very popular in our neighborhood. Many of the shady parts of the park are on the walking path, which is where we meet our new friends.
Last week, a young lady driving slowly through the parking lot at Crooked Creek stopped and asked us for help in finding a missing black poodle, Ellie. She showed us a photo and we exchanged numbers. Mr. Groovy and I kept our eyes peeled during the rest of our walk and looked in the open fields on the way home. But we didn’t see any signs of Ellie. Frankly, I was hoping she didn’t make it as far as the park because the yard she escaped from was a good distance away. Luckily, a neighbor found Ellie that very same evening. Tracy, her owner, was kind enough to let me know.
You find out how awesome your spouse is (bonus perk)
I already knew I married the Fabulous Mr. Groovy, but since we retired, he’s become even more fabulous. He’s teaching himself how to create mobile apps, he started his vlog “Talking Trash with Mr. Groovy,“and he’s now learning more video skills so that he can make Talking Trash even better.
And this week Mr. Groovy upped his game to a new level. He’s taking on his nemesis—our front porch! The Fabulous Mr. Groovy is morphing into Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor. He’s going DIY on our front porch fix. Pretty soon he’ll be grunting like the Tool Man.
Mr. Groovy spoke too soon in his Dodged a Bullet post about how we got away with only cosmetic damage to our front porch. We were wrong. It’s not just trim that needs to be replaced. After removing more trim, Mr. Groovy found a portion of rotten wood that needs shoring up. Upon inspecting the second floor porch we could see where water leaked through the columns, damaging some of the underlying wood. The second floor columns need to be sealed as well.
We figured we’d bring in the pros for this job, and we began getting estimates. We received quotes ranging from $2,500 to $4,200, with differing opinions about what work needs to be done. One contractor practically wanted to rebuild our entire second floor porch. That’s when Mr. Groovy got fed up and decided he’d do the fixing himself. A couple of YouTube videos, a few Google searches, and he has a plan in place. Today he picked up some wood epoxy, sealant, new wood and paint for the trim—and this weekend, we begin. I’ll help of course—but I won’t be wearing Pamela Anderson hot pants.
In the words of Mr. Groovy—“I think we got this.” And in the words of our friend Jillian at Montana Money Adventures—”I’d rather screw up a job myself for free than hire people who charge me to screw it up.”
Hey Mrs. G!
Awesome to hear that your retirement includes meeting some 4-legged friends. Glad the story with Ellie ended well. I’m sure her mom was glad that you and Mr. G were helping to look for her.
We live in an unusual neighborhood where most of the furry friends we meet are cats. Our favorites are Princess Buttons and Mr. Big. Monster is also funny and is true to his name because he gives love nibbles when we pet him.
Also love the idea about not thinking about work. I think that will be an easy transition as I rarely think about it on the weekends.
Good luck to you and Mr. G. with the porch project. I’m sure you’ll do as well as/ better than the guys that were going to charge you thou$ands. Can’t wait to hear how much it costs as a DIY.
The move down south for us has taken a lot of adjustment when it comes to our furry friends. There are no leash laws here. We see many dogs that appear to be stray and I’d say maybe half of them are not. Their owners just let them roam. I find that heart-breaking but I guess culturally that’s the way it’s always been in many families. We also have many cats in our subdivision that roam a bit, but they have collars and know how to get home. Still, hardly anyone obeys the 20 mph speed limit within the confines of our properties so I still don’t get it.
Did you ever get a photo of Big Monster or Princess Buttons?
So far our DIY porch project has cost under $200. Mr G finished one side and relented to my request to finish the other side in the fall. It’s too hot and sunny for one man with little help (me) to be out there for hours. I may just hire a handyman to help him with the rest. Even if I do, the entire cost will probably be under $800. We would have been fine spending $2,500 to $3,000 if we felt confident that the right work was getting done for the price.
Glad to hear that Mr G is waiting for cooler weather to finish the project. That’s awesome that the cost will likely be so much lower then the original bids, even with the help of a handyman!
Wow – no leash laws? That would be hard to get used to. I can’t imagine letting any animals roam where there are speeding cars.
We haven’t gotten a photo of Monster yet, but have a few of Princess Buttons. The only one I can find in a blog post is toward the bottom of this one:
https://grumbysonthemove.com/tiny-house-lady-accelerated-early-retirement
If I can find a close-up of her adorable face and pretty green eyes, I’ll have to include that in a future post!
Thanks for the link to the photo. She’s beautiful!
Never really thought about some of those things. It really just comes down to being able to relax and enjoy oneself. Sounds pretty nice. Especially when your phone doesn’t ring as much and you don’t have to worry about what you are missing at work.
The worst part of vacation from work was returning to hundreds of emails. We still get a kick out of having an alcoholic beverage or two on Sunday nights, to celebrate the beginning of our non-work week.
Thanks for stopping by DD!
Nice perks Mrs. G! I am so looking forward to not thinking about work! John and I actually work together and have for a few years so I already know he’s pretty awesome too.
I love that Mr. G is learning & teaching himself new things. Tooltime was great. Did you watch’ Last Man Standing’ before they took it off air? Some of the references to the old show were hilarious.
Jillian’s line is perfect!
I believe I saw 1 or 2 episodes of Last Man Standing. I just checked and Netflix has 6 seasons of it — so thanks! I’m looking for some lighthearted viewing material.
I’m glad you have an awesome fella too!
Awesome list – in my mini-retirement, I’ve also enjoyed a number of no-shower days – hopefully not to the chagrin of my wife and kids. I keep telling my wife that I’m saving us money on our water bill.
She’s been surprisingly supportive 🙂
Yes! You save money on water. But perhaps spend more on deodorant! Ba-dum-bum!
Lol, great list =) About the people not caring about your status as retired (or caring a bit too much)- I think anyone who judges people for retiring, is really covertly jealous. Especially ones who confront people to their face. Seriously?
Thanks, Tim. People are nutsy cuckoo! I think younger retirees get more crap from peers who are jealous. Never mind the fact that if they saved half their income, or got better jobs, or got side-hustles (the list goes on) they could have retired too. But they’d rather claim it can’t be done or act like something is wrong with a person who no longer wants or needs to work for the man.
Mrs. G,
Great list! I am still working 9-5 but I also don’t think about the job much 🙂 I guess that reflects poorly on me but to me, work is just a way for me to pass the time until I retire. I am still 9 years away from hanging them up but I like to read about others experiences in retirement. Hopefully someday we can swap experiences. Thanks for sharing.
-Brian
Hah, I was in the same boat. I didn’t think about my job much when I was working, both when I was on the clock and off. I don’t think it reflects poorly on you at all. The job serves a purpose and I’m sure you’re performing better than many others.
“You learn to embrace no-shower days.” This one gave me serious giggles. 🙂 Living in the country has had the same effect on us!! We used to be staunchly against no-shower days when we lived in the ‘burbs. How uncouth, after all!! Now, after tough days of cleaning up trees or working much too hard pulling weeds in our ginormous garden, we sometimes find ourselves too da** tired to shower. And who cares, as long as it doesn’t become a regular habit, right? 🙂
Any day I make you giggle is a good day! I hope you got all those trees cleared from the storm. Stay safe and uncouth, my friend!
I love these points. Especially the spouse one!
An unfortunate number of people retire then realize they don’t enjoy spending time with their spouses. 🙁
My wife and I have both been early-retired for three years now, and we worked together for 18 leading up to that. We KNOW that we enjoy spending time together and doing it retired is awesome!
No-showers? We still shower daily for sure, but it is often closer to lunchtime than morning. 🙂
You should try a no-shower day just once!
You’re lucky to have such a close relationship with your wife. Many couples say they could not work with one another.
Keep enjoying retirement! Aren’t Sunday nights fun?
While I only changed professions, I can second you on the phone not ringing. I was on call with my last job and slept with my phone beside my pillow for 4 years because it could ring at any minute.
Now I usually forget my phone when I go out and very casual about checking it for missed calls. I’m better now than two years ago when I quit.
And, now people call with good news too!
I don’t leave my cell phone on overnight but I do keep it with me most times. That’s mainly because my aunt is in a nursing home near us and I’m the emergency contact. It’s so nice that you’ve broken that pattern.
Yay for good news! I’ll take those calls any day.
No need to retire to embrace no shower days. I’ve been having my fair share since I started working from home 4 years ago.
Of course, sunscreen days mean shower nights for me… always.
Also, I’m glad to hear you guys aren’t getting on each others nerves. That seems to be a big concern on the forums too.
Working from home can do that to you. My first year working from home I still showered and did my hair and makeup every morning. It made me feel better about starting the day. I don’t remember exactly when I decided oh, screw it!
I can see how some might be concerned about getting on each other’s nerves. But we’re still spending the same time around one another as we did working from home so there’s been no adjustment period.
Glad that you both are enjoying retirement.
That’s great Mr. Groovy is fixing the porch on his own along with your help, something to fill in the time especially discovering ways to fix things around the house. Can’t wait to hear the outcome of it.
It looks like the damage is minimal so far. And the saga continues with the contractors.
Last night our other neighbor got a contractor out who came highly recommended. I met him and he seems like a stand-up guy. But he doesn’t have time to do a real inspection and give anyone quotes for another 4-6 weeks.
Even though we’re on the do not call registry, our phone rings all the time: pharmacy updates (we have a lot of those!), telemarketers, scammers, and the occasional person we actually want to talk to.
I’d taken for granted not thinking about the job I left, but that’s a definite perk. The occasional no-shower day is another bonus I like.
Glad you both are enjoying retirement!
Thanks, Gary. I wonder why the do not call registry seems to help in some cases and not in others. (I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.)
You’re in a good place if you forgot that you forgot about the old job!
Some of those I agree with but our phones still ring or text buzz a lot. It also seems that retiring opened the spam telecaller floodgates! Plus setting up five tennis matches a week and calls regarding my four paid side gigs and seven unpaid ones keep happening. And as far as the shower thing, no way! Now I either run or play tennis or both every day of the week almost. I sometimes have to wash the bod three times a day to just be able to stand myself!
Interesting about the spam floodgates. And unfortunate. But eventually they all give up (I hope).
You sound as busy as ever! You make an interesting point about multiple showers a day. I’ve taken two some days. Usually it’s because my hair frizzed out and I need to tame the beast.
ONLY FIVE!! That’s what I thought when I read the title. 🙂 I really wouldn’t care even if someone thought I was a slacker. I would be soaking up every awesome second of retirement while they had to drag themselves to working for the man. lol!
Exactly. I don’t care either. I’m good at ignoring people and once or twice in my life I’ve actually said “Please just don’t talk to me.”
Greetings Mrs Groovy,
Happy Wednesday! Although in retirement you probably don’t care what day it is….please consider making that #6 in your list if you are so inclined.
From my corporate bunker office, as I munch through my cheese and tomato sandwich from my brown bag lunch, here are….
Five unsurprising things about working:
1. My bloody phone has been ringing all morning with stupid requests for things that I took care of already by e-mail. Jeez, inefficiencies!
2. No one in my workplace cares that I am working
3. Some of my colleagues don’t seem to think about the job they are in – see point # 1 above.
4. The occasional waft of corporate bull sh** reminds me of the smell of no shower days.
5. I better not say anything about dogs – however, we do meet a lot of bears up in NH, our future retirement home. Yikes, did I just jinx the market by mentioning bears? Oh crap…..one more year syndrome beckons with a market correction. The chickens of doom are upon us…..aargh!
6. (Bonus) Mrs. PIE might read this, so I’d better be nice – she is more awesome than an awesome possum. And she does not wear Pam Anderson hot pants either.
Bye for now.
1. I was lucky because working remotely, I just didn’t answer the phone unless it was my boss or someone I wanted to talk to.
2. I hear that — and no one cared that I left either. They were more focused on how my leaving would affect them.
3. See my answer to Full Time Finance.
4. Good analogy. We had a lot of stinky social bull too. Like workers at one end of the office complaining when workers from the other end used “their” water cooler. Seriously. Although I find it amusing that the antagonistic behavior was usually displayed towards people who would put up with it. No one would have tried that on me.
5. Did you just mention chickens? Mr. Groovy wants to see me riding a tractor with a chicken on my shoulder. I’m afraid we’re going to have to borrow or rent one because I’m not getting any more pets.
6. Always, always, always be nice to Mrs. PIE! And you may be the only one who even knows what Pamela Anderson hot pants are.
The big surprise is not thinking about the job you left. At least in passing I expect it will be on my mind when I get there. The last time I changed companies it took me months to stop thinking about my old place of work..and that’s even with liking my new place better.
Well, I tried not thinking about my job when I was working either. I was so ready to retire.
I wonder why you thought of your old work place so often. Maybe you were curious about how projects you were involved in were progressing?
Literally laughed out loud when I got to the You meet a lot of dogs section!
That sounds like my kind of retirement. Best of luck to your ongoing journey. Sounds like it’s been a good one so far!
Oh, good. I love when I make people laugh, Derek.
Thanks for the good wishes. Yes, so far it’s been fun but another surprising thing — not a perk –but time seems to move more quickly now.
Yah for YouTube DIY!!! I find that if we watch 10-20 videos we can get a good handle on most small projects. And without jobs, I don’t mind taking 1-3 hours to watch some Youtube. Plus it’s fun to figure it out. Worst case if we screw it up we have to hire someone.
I think Youtube and the DIY time are actually faster 75% of the time and quotes, calling, scheduling, and all that hassle.
Our work isn’t always perfect, but it’s free! Which is way better than paying for subpar work. =)
You’re so right about the time involved with the quotes, the emails, the texts, the waiting. And some of these guys drop off the face of the earth for weeks.
I think Mr. Groovy will make me proud!
All good lessons.
Personally, my phone rings off the hook, but since I never answer and they never leave messages, I figure it’s all scammers.
I still can’t do the no-shower day, though Jon’s pretty good at delaying his until it’s time to pick Little Bit up from school or get dinner ready. He’s still pretty awesome, though.
We got on those do not call registries, which help alleviate the ringing.
The no shower day is an acquired habit. Fail to shower once and you might think “hmm, I’m on to something”.
Jon sounds like a keeper!
Oyster Bay? It’s not Jackie the Joke man calling, is it?
I think I could find room to fit in a shower. 🙂 Love the new perks, meeting dogs, and their owners, time to take on new projects, and I know I could get used to the free mental space my job consumes.
Wow! There’s a name from the past. Oddly enough, I have a friend who got into a fight with Jackie at Rumrunners–long before he was a sidekick on the Howard Stern Show. Thanks for the memory, my friend. And, yes, the free mental space is awesome.
Ditto on the free mental space!
Luckily I met Mr. Groovy when Howard Stern was past his prime on broadcast radio and we don’t get satellite radio.
Ok, so here’s what I need to do:
1) Call you
2) Ask you how you can be an unemployed bum
3) Ask about your old job
4) Ask why you stink, and remind you to get a shower
5) Talk you into adopting a rescue dog
6) Remind you how awesome you BOTH are.
1) Next week, please? I want to hear about the wedding!
2) It’s easy. We can give you lessons.
3) You don’t want the icy Mrs. Groovy stare do you?
4) Please do.
5) Not gonna happen.
6) Awww, gee thanks. You are too!
Bahaha! I could totally see the dog thing! I work remotely, so occasionally I’ll sit or work on my front porch for a change of pace. It’s funny how many people are walking their dogs. 🙂 I actually got to pet a corgi, which was one of my life goals, so that made my year. 🙂 I can’t imagine all the great things you get to see now that you don’t have to be chained to a desk.
Mr. G’s sister had a corgi. They’re sweet doggies.
There’s a lot of dog activity in our subdivision, too. Our “Next Door” bulletin board site sends daily alerts for dogs that escaped a back yard or ones that have been found.
Retirement sounds great. I have always been surprised by the FIRE rants. Good for people who have their act together and can retire. There are plenty of humans on this earth, so if 0.1% retire early I don’t think it impacts our GDP.
No shower days sounds great. Those days are called Saturday for me..
I don’t get the rants either but I guess jealousy brings out the worst in some people?
Good on you for declaring your own no shower Saturdays!
When our first son was born there were a lot of no shower days…those were usually PJs days too 😀
Maybe it’s just me but I get confused when my phone rings now. I don’t have one on my desk at work and people rarely call my cell phone.
That’s great that the people around aren’t being mean about it! Never even crossed my mind they could. I’ll have to check out some of those stories.
No shower PJ days — I love it!
It’s not just you — I actually flinched the other day when the phone rang. It scared me!
Those threads in the MMM Forums can be interesting and very helpful. But some of the people frequenting them get extremely intense. I try to stay away.
Oh man, great post! I would love if my phone never rang haha
ok, maybe just not work related calls! And idk about no shower days….I work out too often to pass for clean those days 🙂
Thanks, Lance!
Although I embrace the no-shower day, it’s still not the norm for me. And if we’re going to be around other people I don’t go without a shower!
Love this, Mrs. G! And although I’m not “that” old yet, my hubby is older than both of you 🙂 I definitely agree that I never think about work anymore! (Maybe I’m just totally blocking it out! Or the paint fumes are getting to me!) And I just love the part about learning more about how awesome your spouse is too! It’s great that Mr. G is taking on the porch (as long as he’s not on the roof like Fritz! Safety first!!) It would be different if you could get good estimates – for the same job! And that line from Jillian is perfect. We just had our carpet guy back us out 3 more weeks (which would delay putting our house on the market) – so we’re putting down a vinyl plank floor instead. We should have known that we would end up doing the work (OK – Mr. MSD… he’s a pretty awesome guy!) And our phones only ring with scammers now… annoying but not much we can do!
Safety first! Yes! Mr. G. has gotten better over the years about not doing things around the house that are risky.
Glad to hear Mr. MSD is pretty awesome, too! I hope the vinyl plank comes out nice. I’ve seen some that looks great!
This is great, Mrs. Groovy! I was surprised with the fact that you rarely think about the job you left. Right now, my job does consume many of my thoughts, so that seems unimaginable but fantastic!
And while they aren’t retired yet, my mom would say the same about finding out how awesome my dad is recently when he decided to research and use Youtube to do several significant car repairs. They have always had a strong, loving and respectful marriage, but she was blown away by this new development!
I love the “no-shower” days 😉 I’ve had a few of those now that I work remotely…
I remember couples making jokes about being seeing their spouses too much after retirement. I didn’t think of work as a marriage buffer but for so many people it is! Glad you and Mrs G are not the norm or the case 🙂
I’m with Mrs. AR – I thought when you retire you’ll have to train yourself to not think about work, especially after so many years of doing it. But then again, kiddos like us are still in the heap of it. I had a dream about my blog banner just last night..🙃
Lily, if you’re dreaming about your blog banner I think I may need to have a talk with Jared and tell him a little wine and chocolate might be in order!
For three years prior to retiring, Mr. G and I both worked remotely from our home. There hasn’t been a change in the amount of time we spend together. In that sense, we’re pretty fortunate.
Thanks Mrs. AR! I imagine not thinking about the job also depends on the job itself. Although I was good at mine, I didn’t think I was doing anything particularly useful.