This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclosure for more information.
Mrs. Groovy here. I bet you thought this post was written by Mr. Groovy. But nope. Although my husband is a manly man, today we bring you a post from the manliest of men, Crispy Doc.
Crispy Doc is a financially independent emergency physician who blogs over at Crispydoc.com. He’s in his mid-40s, married with kids, and lives in coastal California. At an earlier point in his career he decided he wanted out of medicine—but learning to manage his money has empowered him to design a flexible career instead.
Crispy Doc first came to my attention several months ago via his witty comments on our posts. I became intrigued by his way with words and began reading his blog. I’ve been hooked ever since.
Take it away, Crispy Doc.
I was not what one would call a natural born handy husband. Once, when we had a couple of burly guys over to repair an appliance, one of them asked to borrow a hammer. I brought him a dainty number with a yellow plastic handle, an obvious component from a “free tool kit” giveaway.
My less than macho hammer had sufficed to hang up an occasional framed poster in college, but it did not impress Click and Clack. Based on their facial reactions, they may or may not have kicked the ass of someone that once used a similar tool in their former high school incarnations, before their livelihood depended on the ass-kickee’s largesse.
As I’ve written about previously, one of the benefits of putting my financial house in order is that I have cut my shift load dramatically in order to pursue my greater priorities (think family, personal growth, and meaningful relationships). One of the unexpected fruits of the pursuit of financial independence is that the extra time and interest in learning new skills has conferred upon me a bare bones competence for simple repair projects around the house.
I realize that for many readers, this is like saying I’ve finally learned how to microwave ramen or assemble an Ikea chair, but from my starting place of ignorance it’s been a welcome transformation.
It’s a bittersweet victory to observe my wife’s response to malfunction transition from, “We need to call the guy who fixes that,” to “You need to fix that.”
I am not ashamed to admit to feeling equal parts pride and regret when she says that.
Case Study Number One: Digital Display Done Died
The digital display for our stainless steel oven went out, rendering it inoperable. After recalling the recent $300 appliance repair bill I’d paid for our washing machine, I decided against outsourcing this one. The replacement panel alone looked like a $200 online purchase if I could track it down—it was ten years old and the odds were low.
I dug out the manufacturer’s operating instructions and contacted the service rep by email. After a few exchanges, she agreed to send me a replacement since they had one sitting in the warehouse, even though it wasn’t covered under warranty (Thank you, Sandy at Dacor, for restoring my faith in human kindness!).
Next, I watched a few YouTube videos, using trial and error to figure out the terminology that would prompt the appropriate tutorial.
I waited for a morning where the family was out of the house, sorted through the connections, and voila, fixed! I could feel the new chest hairs sprouting.
Case Study Number Two: Busted Window Screens
We’ve had poor experiences with handy men in our area despite using recommendations from friends. Again, a little time on YouTube and a run to the hardware store and I was ready to go…except that my wife grew concerned that the graphite fiberglass I’d chosen would not perfectly match the charcoal on the existing screens.
Repeating the mantra, “Happy wife, happy life,” under my breath, I accompanied my wife on a second and then a third trip to two additional hardware stores until she agreed that the original screen materials I’d purchased were adequate. The single screen I replaced put such a smile on my wife’s face that I let her persuade me to buy industrial size rolls of fiberglass screen material and splining with plans to replace two screens a week until we’ve replaced them all.
Granted, it’s created more work for me, but I intend to repeat my mantra until I firmly believe it. I can assure you that cheerfully doing repairs you deem lower priority while chanting my mantra is cheaper than divorce.
Case Study Number Three: Stripped Screws Securing a Clogged Shower Drain
Our master bath had begun resembling a kiddie pool after our last several showers, and instead of accepting as inevitable that $100 bill from a plumber, I decided to become a home repair vigilante and take matters into my own hands.
Unfortunately, after a couple of attempts with the drill (that’s right, I’m a big shot with a drill thanks to a thoughtful birthday gift from my in-laws), the two screws holding the drain in place were completely stripped. Again, back to YouTube to try the rubber band technique, various iterations of liquid wrench, all to no avail.
Finally I found a video demonstrating a set of specialized drill bits that promised to core out and re-thread the center of the screw, and then use a companion bit to bite into that newly threaded core and remove the stripped screw. Figuring $7.99 was still 90% cheaper than a plumber, I ordered via Amazon, and a couple of days later I had that pesky screw removed!
Subsequently unclogging the drain even led us to discover a ball of hair that I am convinced represents my wife’s long lost twin sister. It left me feeling fortunate, as I married the better looking of the two.
Conclusion
In conclusion, pursuing FI has given rise to my inner curmudgeonly building superintendent, developing useful skills and enlarging my scrotal musculature.
With time, a bit of online self-education, and the can-do attitude that characterizes a growth mindset, you too can develop comparable gonads of steel!
Mr. Groovy here. Oh, man, did I get a CMLT reading this post. “Click and Clack,” “malfunction transition,” “sprouting chest hairs,” “long lost twin sister,” “scrotal musculature”—this post had so many memorable phrases, I feel guilty publishing it. I mean, c’mon. This is Rockstar worthy stuff. And why should my blog be the recipient of the inevitable traffic spike when this post is featured on that great curation site? Talk about outrageous fortune! I owe you, CD. If it’s any consolation, your “scrotal musculature” puts mine to shame. There’s no way I would have ever tackled a busted digital display on an oven. You’re a far better man than I. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Thanks for sharing your stories! Great advice about looking out for the energy efficiency programs.I have only respect for your plumbing and appliance prowess. I hope you donned a cape for that one, because it’s a definite superpower.
Hey Charles (get it? Sounds like Haigh, Charles?!)
I never donned a cape. Where I come from, we set the bar low. I take pride in not drinking out of the bowl as I fix the plumbing.
Appreciate the kind words and your indulging my kindergarten humor,
CD
That is so manly of you to share this.
My voice just dropped an octave from your compliment!
I enjoyed the read because I, too, can relate to your forced bout of manliness. I live on one side of a double with my wife with an AirBnB we host guests with in the back and we also have tenants next door. For the past ~6 weeks, I’ve had so many projects fixing up various items around the house.
I have become familiar with your stripped screw soirée and used a specialized bit to rethread and replace a faulty faucet in our AirBnB.
The other side of our double has the power and gas cutoff by our old tenants and this required me to crawl around our sweltering attic to figure out how to ignite their hot water heater’s pilot light. Living in New Orleans and it being during the summer, I think I lost 3 pounds to sweat in the process.
We’ve had to refill the rental side’s refrigerator with Freon, despite it being only 20 months old. Thankfully, Whirlpool understood that the refrigerator had just slipped out of its manufacturer’s warranty and that the fridge came to us with a cracked heat coil that will forever leak Freon. They decided to cover the Freon refill but it’ll still be a problem a year from now.
And finally, the water pump in our toilet quit working, causing the bowl not to clear. Let me tell you that wasn’t great. After watching some YouTube tutorials, I managed to replace the pump. It felt good not to call a plumber and get hit with a $100 bill for parts and labor that cost me $8.95 + tax at Home Depot to repair.
All of this is to say that deciding to pursue financial freedom and have tenants and AirBnB guests pay our mortgage has forced me to learn the ways of a toolkit and superintendent as well. Honestly, it’s long overdue since my father is one of the handiest men around. I’m hardly up to his level, but I can tell he enjoys walking through this stuff with me over the phone. I’m grateful for his patience and support.
Thanks for sharing, Crispy Doc. May we both continue to improve through watching our YouTube videos!
Wow, I applaud you for learning to fix all those issues on your own.
Now that you learned the heat coil was cracked on your refrigerator, would you know where to look to check that a new one? I’m curious because we need to buy appliances.
I’d highly recommend looking at your local power utility’s energy efficiency program. They offer rebates to replace appliances because they use less electricity and benefits all customers on the system. I work for the power company based in New Orleans and we offer some of these rebates to our customers. They might not have them on every appliance but usually the most common are refrigerators, dishwashers, washing machines/dryers, and ovens.
It also strikes me that Labor Day weekend (this weekend) might be good for sales. We weren’t in the market at the time of one of those sales but we bought ours at a different sale. Home Depot had an after-Christmas sale in 2016. We saved almost 50%, but it got us a new fridge with a cracked coil. I guess the lesson here is to get the extended warranty on the fridge.
Great point about looking at the energy efficiency program. Although I wonder if it applies when you’re buying new appliances for a new house, and not replacements.
Funny you should mention Labor Day sales. Lowes is running specials until September 12th. I confirmed with a sales associate that we can purchase before the 12th but hold off delivery until we’re ready.
Nice find! Could be a good time to buy if the deal looks appealing.
And regarding the energy efficiency program, you’ll have to look at the fine print or ask the program administrator. Replacing an existing, inefficient appliance might be required. However, some more mature energy efficiency programs offer incentives for new home appliance installation. You’ll have to check with your utility.
Young and Invested,
Thanks for sharing your stories! Great advice about looking out for the energy efficiency programs. While not in that precise category, our local water department was looking for ways to reduce demand during a prolonged California drought , which resulted in our replacing our 1970s monsters with 4 high efficiency / low flow toilets installed completely for free.
I have only respect for your plumbing and appliance prowess. Freon refills? I hope you donned a cape for that one, because it’s a definite superpower.
As frugal deviates, we may yet grow into manly men – even if we are dragged kicking and screaming to the threshold.
Until that time, I plan to enjoy Book Club more than Fight Club (but I’m not picky – I’ll accept all the invitations I’m offered!).
Cheers,
CD
Hilarious read 🙂 thanks. I also used to have too left hands before hitting FI. After becoming a real estate investor and renovating several apartments for long term rent, i learnt a few tricks from the builders/ carpenters/ plumbers/ electricians. I figured since I pay them to renovate I might as well use the time to closely watch how they do it. I consider myself a non professional trades person now, to the point of having renovated my granny’s apartment in part last year all by myself! Amazing – a year earlier I wouldn’t have known how and where to start.
Really funny post! Thanks a lot 🙂 More FI posts should make people laugh!
The Poor Swiss recently posted…Mid Year Review of my 2018 goals
Poor Swiss,
I must admit, having visited Geneva and Zurich, that it’s hard to believe there was ever a situation where I would utter the words Poor and Swiss together. Then I noted that your bio states you are a graduate student. Now I get it.
Thank you for the kind words,
CD
Hi CD 🙂
It’s a common misconception to believe that all Swiss are rich 😉 It’s so expensive that even given our larger income, it’s not always easy for everybody. Zurich is the most expensive city in the world.
I’m not poor either though. And we can’t really complain too much!
This whole post was informative but also hilarious. This part really got me at the end “Subsequently unclogging the drain even led us to discover a ball of hair that I am convinced represents my wife’s long lost twin sister. It left me feeling fortunate, as I married the better looking of the two”
Never miss a chance to practice gratitude!
I guess that’s OK but I married a farm girl and she handles all that. In fact after I retired early I thought I’d surprise her and mow the grass. I was quickly informed that was Her job! So now I nap on the couch while she mows. I might not be as manly but no way I’m trading places with you.
SteveArk,
“So now I nap on the couch while she mows.”
You’ve just explained to me why Amish guys are so happy remaining in their rural community. Farm chicks rock. Credit to you to seeing it before the rest of us and making one your wife.
What a timely post. I am trying to fix my shower drain today. I have old-fashioned Draino crystals X2 so far. It stops up with silt every year. The draino improves it but the next step is a plumber. I ask the plumber why does it do this? I dunno is the reply. I am slow to fix things. It has to be life threatening to call a repair person. I know nothing about scrotal musculature being a gynecologist.
Gynecologist or not, you’ve got the biggest ovaries out there, hatton1.
Like that 200 pound benign teratoma that was removed at Stanford Medical Center in the early 90s when I was in college.
You are an order of magnitude beyond the competition.
Hey to follow-up I was able to fix my shower drain with drain-o and a spoon. My ovaries have exploded.
Drain-o and a spoon sound like the sort of every day items that super spies find laying about in a supervillain’s lair and modify in order to escape impossible situations.
Add in exploding ovaries and that’s a script someone will option for the next Marvel Comics special effects movie.
Just like that, you’ve created your exit strategy from medicine by becoming “Hollywood” Hatton1, script writer and Gynecologist to the Stars.
I am a huge fan of Crispy Doc. I love his sense of humor and this post is no exception.
Kudos on becoming a manly man. I think I’m pretty handy around the house and so far my attempts at repairs has been successful.
Knock on wood, I haven’t yet done more damage than the original problem that would require me to pay even more for someone to come and fix it.
Whenever I do something myself I definitely take great pride in it, much more than if I paid someone to come over and do it for me.
Xrayvsn,
Thanks for the kind praise, my friend. Those home repairs are worthy of pride.
When I was ~8 years old, I went fishing off the Santa Monica pier with my father and grandfather. I caught a fish only slightly larger than the bait, and my dad tied it to my index finger with twine and had me parade it around to the other grizzled regulars on the pier.
That’s the kind of pride I take in sharing these stories – those first novice moments are priceless.
Thanks for the support!
CD
Great guest post Crispy Doc! I really enjoyed reading your fun adventures in handyman work. Although it seems like it creates a “make work” scenario if you impress your wife too much! Be careful not to get too good with the repairs! Also a belated Thank You on the post from your own blog on who to contact to do credit freezes to the five agencies. I meant to thank you months ago for that post!
RocDoc,
I’m more of a handytween who is looking forward to the day he can come into his own as a handyman. But hey, my voice is changing!
I think I perfectly timed the peak moment of impressing my wife to my marriage proposal, with excellent results. (That did not include auditioning my home repair skills.)
I’m thrilled you got some mileage out of the credit freeze article.
Thanks for the encouraging words,
CD
i sometimes take on this kind of stuff. i recently used a pry bar to move a massive stone stair on the front of our house back into place. what’s even better? mrs. smidlap takes on a lot of these tasks around the house. need paneling torn down and all the plaster repaired and painted? she’s your gal. that’s good marriage fortune.
freddy smidlap recently posted…The World Says I Should Want That? I Don’t
Freddy,
You were smart to marry the best contractor in town.
I aspire to using large pieces of metal with names like “pry bar” that conjure testosterone. All the tools I’ve used (short of the drill) seem to have fragile names suited to Victorian dandies wearing monacles.
Someday, my friend, someday…
Aside from comparing scrotal musculatures and newfound chest hair follicles, I greatly enjoyed this read. I too have felt the sting of the dreaded “you need to fix that”, and, as my moniker suggests, I have no excuses for delay or buck-passing. However, every time I bust out my trusty beat-up professional grade high-torque battery-powered hammer drill to make something happen, I feel a little tingle that tells me my man card isn’t in danger. At least for now
O Captain! My Captain!
See, this is where it gets dangerous without my dear wife around to keep my sense of humor in check. Do I make that joke about my scrotal bodybuilding trophies? Do I reveal how awkward it is to oil up in the locker room before the competition? Do I tell about how I use rogaine, but only on my chest? Did I just alienate my otherwise devoted audience with receding hairlines (i.e., my uncle)?
And while I’m sympathetic to being asked to live up to your nom de blog, I bet it would have been much harder to build that loyal audience as Captain Sits-on-the-sofa-munching-flaming-hot-cheetos.
I look forward the day I get enough use out of my tools to be able to say that they look beat up, or to vouch that they are trusty.
Right now, when I get that tingle, I use my best Woody Allen voice and desperately plead, “Neuropathy? But I’m still so young!” Such are the hazards of a life in medicine.
-CD
Discovering “a ball of hair that I am convinced represents my wife’s long lost twin sister” is what my husband does periodically when unclogging my bathroom sink. Oh the joys of marriage!
But, as a former engineer, I must say that if my husband wasn’t the most skilled fix-it guy I’ve ever known, I would be willing to watch YouTube myself and roll up my sleeves too. A manly woman? Possibly!
Susan,
Believe me, your husband braves those dark recesses because he knows you are worth it.
And as for your willingness to get dirty and do it yourself if you didn’t have a devoted love slave – I think that’s awesome.
Manly woman doesn’t sing to me as terminology goes. How about “ovaries of steel?” My own wife has ovaries of steel, although admittedly less dirt-tolerant than your own if we judge by DIY plumbing alone.
I’m a huge sucker for brilliant and resourceful women. Kudos to your husband for marrying one.
Fondly,
CD
Great job with fixing stuff around the house. It’s tough to find good help these days. They are all working on new constructions and making good money.
YouTube is an awesome resource for DIY fixing. It’s so much easier with some instructional videos.
Joe,
For all its flaws, democratizing access to information on home repair is one of my favorite aspects of the web. What a terrific resource if you have the luxury of time to learn.
On a separate note, how cool is that! A comment from a big-time blogger I’ve followed for years! I feel like Babe Ruth just walked by the little league dugout and told me my swing is promising. (If the analogy is strained, it’s because I never advanced past t-ball).
Thanks for the heaping boost to my self-esteem. I may start to refer to myself in the third person after this comment.
Cheers,
CD
enlarging my scrotal musculature.
Isn’t that what life is all about? 🙂
Accidental Fire,
You are totally right. In fact, I’ve decided a portion of my blog’s profits will henceforth be contributed to the Foundation for Scrotal Atrophy.
“Helping America, one sac at a time.”
HA! Love it!
However, the only issue with being able to fix everything, is now there is no excuse if you DON’T fix everything. I guess there are worse problems to have 😉
TDP,
To paraphrase Paula Pant from Afford Anything:
I can fix anything, but I can’t fix everything.
If someone truly can fix everything, I suggest he not boast about it. Or dumb down his skills.
You are so right CD! Mr. Wow has completely taken matters into his own hands when it comes to fixing things around the house these days, fixing a broken vacuum, replacing an IPhone battery, fixing the kitchen sink, oh and he just fixed his computer after it decided to crap out following a major update. It definitely helps save some money and also gives him a major boost of confidence knowing that he just fixed something that he originally didn’t know how to do.
Mrs. Wow,
1) Vacuum repair!? That elicited a Wow from me that had nothing to do with waffles. I’ve just added your husband to my high utility speed dial, below the neighbor who is a firefighter and my congressman. Wait, my congressman is less useful than your husband. I’m redoing the order.
2) I feel awful for Mr. Wow. Being the tech guy is the hardest family job in the world. I’ve seen my generous brother-in-law become that guy, and the experience was like having all the people who love you suddenly turn into Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when their computer doesn’t work.
May we all become victims of our success!
CD
We can vouch for Mr. Wow’s tech skills. He taught Mr. Groovy how to do a “remote” episode of Talking Trash. He and Mrs. Wow picked up trash (and met a wacky person) while we sat at our computer talking to them.
The cheapest person to pay to do something is yourself! If you can avoid calling on paid contractors for DIY, then you can save yourself a fortune!
GFF,
I agree wholeheartedly. I’m lucky I have time, and I like to learn. And if it makes my wife happy to boot? Yahtzee!
Fondly,
CD
It makes me happy when Mr. G does the DIY thing. I like that he’s willing to learn new skills and save us money. And I like how satisfying it is for him to conquer a challenge. But he has also learned to accept limitations, mostly of his time. He has the ability and focus to learn almost anything he sets his mind to. But time is finite and sometimes it’s worth it to call in the pros.