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Last week, during one of my daily constitutionals, I had some great thoughts. First, I came up with a pithy way of describing the connection between wallet management and financial independence. Here it is.
Feed your desires, starve your savings. Starve your savings, kill any hopes of achieving financial independence.
Then I needed some pithy strategies to help one discipline one’s wallet and become less spendy. Here were great thoughts two and three.
In order to subdue your desire for stuff, you have to become expert at strategic ignorance. You see things you don’t have, you covet. You don’t see things you don’t have, you don’t covet.
Another way to subdue your desire for stuff is to become expert at strategic aloofness. In other words, you know your stuff is lame, but you don’t give a rat’s ass. You’re perfectly happy with shopworn or obsolete stuff.
Finally, I needed some ways to hone one’s strategic ignorance and strategic aloofness. Here’s what I came up with.
Strategic Ignorance
- Don’t watch television. Watch television and you’ll not only become familiar with the latest advances in consumer staples, you’ll also become familiar with the latest trends in fashion, entertainment, health, transportation, housing, and technology. Not good. Such knowledge will only make your life appear pathetic and you’ll invariably resort to retail therapy for a cure.
- Stay away from social media. You can’t compete with a crowd-sourced highlight reel. No matter how wonderful your life is, your highlights will look few in number and trivial in scope. Consume a lot of social media and two unfortunate things will happen. You’ll want things you never wanted, and you’ll want to do things you never wanted to do.
- Boycott the news. Walter Cronkite is surely rolling over in his grave. Sadly, “news” today—whether it’s the television, radio, print, or online variety—has devolved into a part-time public relations outlet for America’s celebrities. Again, not good. Nothing fuels our desire for stuff like a never-shuttered window to the fabulous lives of our fabulous celebrities. “Oh, look, J-Lo uses an Hermès Kelly bag to carry her workout gear. I gotta get one of those bags.”
Strategic Aloofness
- Find grounded friends. If your friends equate respectability with upscale clothes, restaurants, vacations, cars, schools, and zip codes, you’ll find it very difficult to be frugal. The pressure to be respectable—to have what your friends have and do what your friends are doing—will be unrelenting. If on the other hand, you have friends who are less showy and less inclined to think poorly of the materially challenged, you’ll have a better shot of respecting your wallet. Junior colleges, forlorn cars, and laminate countertops are far more acceptable to NASCAR fans than NPR fans. Choose your friends wisely.
- Move to a town or city where more grounded people reside. But what if your friends aren’t the problem? What if it’s your family, co-workers, and neighbors who are constantly making you question the adequacy of your stuff? Move. Toxic people (in the sense they pressure you to spend) are far less toxic when they’re hundreds of miles away.
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. It’s amazing what the brain can whip up during an hour’s walk in the great bucolic greenways of North Carolina. But what say you? Admittedly, I didn’t come up any novel ideas. But I did come up with a lot of pithiness, right? And how would you coach someone to increase his or her strategic ignorance and strategic aloofness? Did I miss anything? Let me know what you think when you get a chance. Peace.
This is so true. It really depends on what you choose to look. In India, I can either look at the HUGE number of people living in poverty or the lesser number of people having significantly more money than me. Strategic ignorance and aloofness can be a potent weapon to be frugal.
I now use social media mostly for my blog and chatting up other PF bloggers. As for TV, I think advertisements are much worse (funny I should say it considering I am a marketeer). So, I now view only ad-free on-demand entertainment TV like Netflix or Amazon Prime.
We were unexposed to commercial TV ads for a few years, until we moved in with Mr. G’s parents. I can’t believe how many of them are for pharmaceutical companies! And all the people taking the drugs are sooo happy. What a joke.
I love the concepts of strategic ignorance and strategic aloofness!
I would also add that helping people who are less fortunate helps get the focus off what I don’t have…
Great point, Ms. Fi!
As a former journalism major, I can’t wait to see how the current “age of journalism” is memorialized in the future. Terms like muckraking come to mind, but I’m not sure how best to update that for the modern day in a way that will really stick…
The Vigilante recently posted…Make Your Own Luck
I have no doubt that main stream history publishers will put their spin on the current age of journalism, just as many current journalists write with their biases.
We hardly watch TV. Mainly we now rot our brains with Personal Finance Blogs and Podcasts.
You’re a wise man, my friend. Every soul must have a vice. And I’m with you. Better to rot your brain with PF blogs and podcasts rather than commercial television. By the way, your visit on Countdown to FI was one of the most brain-rotting podcasts Mrs. G and I have ever listened to. In fact, it was so brain-rotting, we had to listen to it again. Looking forward to our roundtable discussion on CTF, my friend. I’m sure we’ll solve a lot of problems and rot a lot of brains. Cheers.
A great idea. We don’t have the time to watch TV anymore and we’re also selective with our social media usage and friends. It allows more time for our goals and just enjoy life
So true. Creating and doing is living. Consuming and sitting is existing. Those who drown themselves in television and social media are definitely on the existing track. Sigh. Love your comment, Ramona. In a few sentences, you packed a lot of wisdom. Cheers.
Okay – strategic ignorance and aloofness. I think I need to start using these terms. I’d say we’re doing a decent job of it after most of a year with no television set and the fact that we brag about our older cars 😉
Love your style, Angela. Hail ignorance! Hail aloofness!! And hail having a crappy car and being proud of it!!!
I highly agree with avoiding social media. All channels now are out to sell you something via advertising, and many are still doing it in a way that you don’t realize. Whether it’s brand ambassadors or ads that pop up over and over on short IG videos, it slowly makes you think you need something. I’ve caught myself looking at items and then saying, um, why do I need this pancake shirt? I can’t even eat them being gluten-free! Great tips here and a good reminder.
Wow. I left Facebook before it started assaulting members with brand ambassadors, ads, and pop-ups. That’s scary. But it’s amazing how much you can de-advertise your brain by simply cutting the cord and boycotting social media. Mrs. Groovy and I can now literally go several days without seeing an ad hawking some product. It’s wonderful. Thanks for stopping by, Kate. And even though I think you’d look adorable in a pancake shirt, I’m glad you didn’t buy it. Cheers.
Agree with all your points. I watch movies and series but have to vomit from commercial shows. The news are prioritizing themselves, I have my peers as filters, if there is something really important is happening somewhere it will find a way to get the word to me. I use only twitter and even see that as a local pub. When I have time I turn in and see if someone from the pack (mostly PF bloggers) is there for a drink and some chitchat. Don’t keep in touch on social media with the ones I can do so in real life.
The latter part is important also, but you can develop resistance even on that field. Anyway, slay the energy vampires 🙂
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Haha! I love it, HCF. I’ve been boycotting “news” for close to four years now, and I really don’t feel I’m any less informed than when I was watching the stuff. I figure if the Russians or Chinese invade, I’ll get a heads up from a friend or a relative. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. You made my day.
I never had to go to those lengths to be frugal, it just naturally appealed to me and was modeled to me and my wife by our parents. Although I never did watch much TV and don’t even have a Facebook account so maybe I don’t realize how pernicious those are in terms of influencing bad behavior. I do read your posts without fail and greatly enjoy your content so perhaps that’s what keeps me away from the dark side!
I love it, Steveark. So happy I have some influence in keeping you from the dark side. But I imagine your Arkansas roots has more to do with your groundedness. I got to believe that people in Arkansas are far less status conscious and status signaling than New Yorkers. So hail the razorback state! Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Always a pleasure.
My husband says he gets his best ideas from his daily constitutional as well, though our urban neighborhood isn’t exactly bucolic!
For my kids’ sake, I’m grateful we live in a neighborhood where we’re in the middle of the pack, income-wise, instead of stretching to buy the cheapest house in a very affluent neighborhood. The latter may have been a better investment, but there would be a lot of pressure to keep up with the other kids’ lavish vacations and huge houses. And one upside to the rise of streaming content is that my kids see hardly any commercials.
Exactly, Frieda. Better to live modestly in a decent neighborhood than live cheaply in an elite neighborhood. The pressure to be “respectable” will be unrelenting. Thanks for stopping by. Lot of wisdom in your comment.
I love your tip about not watching television. We have often talked about the benefits of not being bombarded with the latest trends and must-haves – especially with having a child. Cheers to no cable! Woot.
Without a doubt. The first casualty of excessive television watching is wallet management. The more television you watch, the more you’ll want. I learned this lesson the hard way. Thanks for stopping by, Mrs. MMM. It’s always great hearing from a fellow cord-cutter. Cheers.
Strategic Ignorance… damn. Love it. We missed you.
All hail the constitutional!!!
Thanks, AF. I really appreciate your kind words.
Good advice! I think one area that has been challenging for me is my friends. I do really enjoy them, but MOST are not frugal and are into expensive vacations. I do have friends doing well financially despite that, but they make high incomes to offset that.
Agreed, Tonya. When I was back in New York, I had great friends who made a lot more money than I did. And though I wanted to have what they had, and do what they were doing, there was no way I could. I tried to for a while, much to the chagrin of my wallet. Thankfully my friends never pressured me or mocked me for not being able to keep up, so to speak. On a brighter note, I never had this problem in North Carolina. Friends and co-workers were much into hiking than jetting over to Vail for skiing. Have a great weekend, Tonya. It’s always a pleasure hearing from you.
Now this is the kind of sage wisdom that I like from you Mr. G! About the friends thing … I saw a quote today that said “you can’t change your friends, but you can change your friends.” Sooo good!
Surround yourself with high quality people that will help you become a better versions of yourself by supporting your and challenging you.
Also, I’m strongly considering adding ‘strategically aloof’ to my twitter bio.
Love that quote. You can do basically four things with your free time. You can earn, spurn (as in a spending sense), learn, or show concern (as in being a better spouse, friend, co-worker, neighbor, etc.). If your friends are hostile to those things, you need better friends. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Nothing like ending the week with the wisdom from the Washingtonian sage. Cheers.
Holy crap – talk about the ultimate life advice post. We unplugged cable T.V. just a month ago, and you coined a few phrases I think: Strategic Ignorance and Strategic Aloofness.
So much of our mind space is polluted with the ranting, ravings and cravings of other minds. We need to protect our mind space; protect our natural born wholesomeness.
“We need to protect our mind space; protect our natural born wholesomeness.”
Amen, brother. I’m so glad you’re back in the blogging game. You’re fertile mind shouldn’t be wasted on just your friends and neighbors in Saskatoon. Have a great weekend, my friend.
Ah snap. Dropping the knowledge. We don’t watch much TV, but when we do the ass commercials blow my mind. Also if you cover less you can buy higher quality stuff!
You are so right, my friend. Now that Mrs. G and I are temporarily living with my parents, we’re watching a lot more television. And the commercials are mind numbingly stupid. As I watch them I feel sorry for myself for having to endure them. But I also feel sorry for the actors in them. Is the self-abasement they subject themselves worth the money they’re getting? And you are so right about the connection to size and quality. One of the reasons Mrs. G and I are building a small house is because we don’t have to skimp on quality. We’d rather build a small house well than build a big house poorly. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. I always feel more enlightened after reading one of your comments. Cheers.
Always enjoy the pithy comments and very wise words!
Thanks, Bev. Have a great weekend.
NPR listener here…there are lots of us “elites” who shun spendy behavior and are FI…and who do exactly as you suggest in associating with other folks who drive old cars and shun shopping trips.
Also, there’s a sort of bragginess you can get by dropping “I haven’t had a television in years” into a conversation (try it!). It’s my favorite way to get the weird look from others.
Haha! Finally, a defender of NPR. I’m not really happy with the NPR reference. I know a bunch of NPR fans and none of them are snobby in a material sense. What I wanted to capture was a group of readily identifiable people who have refined tastes and are snobby. NPR fans were a weak choice, for sure. But I did have a self-imposed deadline for this post and that was the best I could come up with. Thanks for stopping by, MarciaB. Your keen perspective on things is always welcomed here.
Hi, Mr. Groovy,
Can you please teach me how to be pithy yet thought-provoking at the same time?
I also find that unsubscribing from email newsletters helps a ton, too! Really helped me curb my shopping when it got out of hand.
Thanks,
Luxe
The Luxe Strategist recently posted…Poshmark Vs. eBay Vs. Depop: The Ultimate Resale Site Showdown
I got a deal for you LS. I’ll teach you how to be pithy if you teach me how to take advantage of travel reward cards. We got a lot spending on the near horizon and we’re confused as hell on what cards to get.
You have some great ideas walking and…(ha ha). We’ve given up TV and although we can stream Netflix, it seems like a lot of shows have that same star-studded glamour coming our way.
Instead, we have gotten into watching YouTube videos of people backpacking. There are some amazing videos of the John Muir Trail that people have filmed. It gives us a sense of the simplicity of nature and how people live for weeks out with so little. It has influenced us a lot and we “spend” our time and money on hiking now.
Love the way your mind works, Susan. That is pure genius. While Mrs. G and I were planning our Montana adventure a couple of years ago, we watched a lot of YouTube clips of people hiking Glacier National Park. Talk about being inspired by nature and realizing you don’t need to spend a lot of money to have a rich life! I got to do better with my YouTube watching. Less hockey fights and more hiking videos. Have a great weekend, Susan. Cheers.
Also, just knowing that there is an alternative to spending. People can save money for financial independence instead. Freedom is a lot more attractive to some people than more stuff.
We like watching TV, but we usually don’t see a lot of commercial. We get shows from our library and that works pretty well. Not as many subliminal messages.
Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! Don’t play the material game. Play the freedom game. And it’s so much easier to play the freedom game when you become part of the FI community. Best people in the world. Have a great weekend, my friend.
NASCAR beats NPR hands down. And I didn’t even have to “sit on the throne” to think of that one. Glad to know where you do your best thinking, Mr. G. And, I’ve gotta say, this is pretty good thinking…
Oh, man, Fritz. I forgot all about the gift of contemplation that throne sitting has bestowed upon mankind. Made my week, my friend. My problem is that I’ve developed a real warped habit whenever nature calls. I don’t think on the throne, I listen to podcasts or watch YouTube clips. How sick is that? Have a great weekend, my friend. Only seven days away from FIRE. I know how spectacular that feeling is. Cheers.
I can vouch for his warped habit. It’s quite unnerving to hear loud voices coming from the bathroom that are not Mr. Groovy’s.
Mrs. Groovy recently posted…How To Be Less Spendy
Don’t listen to her, Fritz. She likes Styx and Molyneux as much as I do.
NASCAR does beat NPR hands down! Go, Fritz!!! 🙂
Great tips.
BTW hope you’ve been able to avoid the flooding up there!
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Thank you, Brad. And thank you for asking about our situation. We’re wet and soggy but mercifully flood free. In fact, today is the fist day we’ve seen the sun in about two weeks. Feels good. Have a great weekend, my friend. Cheers.
I like Strategic Ignorance and Strategic Aloofness. I liken them to contentedness and not caring what others think. Once you can find that level of mindfulness the rest is easy. Are we getting too philosophical, here? 🙂
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Yeah, we’re getting much too philosophical here. But I love the way you put it. “…[C]ontentedness and not caring what others think.” Talk about pithiness! Have you ever considered blogging, my friend. You have to share that first-rate mind with the masses.
“Choose your friends wisely.”
Can you say that again!? I still see so many of the people I went to school with attempting to keep up with their more financially successful friends, even though they don’t make anywhere close to the same amount of $$$ their “friends” do. It’s hard to get away from those people because you feel like you constantly have to live up to their expectations, but it needs to be done at times.
I have found myself A LOT more happy when I shrunk my circle, and began to focus only on those who had similar interests as me.
“It’s hard to get away from those people because you feel like you constantly have to live up to their expectations, but it needs to be done at times”
Nailed it, Sean. I’ve shrunk my circle to a few awesome New Yorkers (who I only see once every year or so) and the FI blogging community. It’s very easy to be frugal with friends like these. Have a great weekend, my friend.
Nah.
I’ve lived the last 20 years watching tv, (and OMG I love Netflix), living where I live and being on Facebook.
However, I don’t spend anything mindlessly.
It’s simply a matter of knowing what you want and being honest about cutting out what isn’t important to you. Basically… being true to yourself.
If you do that, then everything else doesn’t matter.
There’s always a place in my heart for the respectful contrarian. I love it, Frogdancer. My problem is that I can’t be true to myself without these tricks, so to speak. I’m just too damn weak!
Great tips, Mr. G. Now I just need a way to be less “stress spendy”. As you know, we’ve been going through a “time” here. My excess spending is coming in the form of “I don’t have the time or energy to navigate frugality” spendiness. Not so much in the form of covetness or a desire for new things. More like “We’re going out to eat because I’m too exhausted to cook”. Or “We need A, and I really don’t have the energy or time to find a “frugaler’ option”. Help!!
Agree with Laurie! Let’s get take out or ready made cause I’m too exhausted to meal prep on the weekends, etc.
🙂 Glad I’m not the only one!
Sadly, you’re not. And here’s another one for you. Prior to my fortieth birthday, I had “the time but not the energy to navigate frugality.” In other words, I was largely a spendthrift because I was a lazy bum. Aaarrrggghhh! More thinking to do this weekend.
I’m with you, Julie. Laurie is one smart cookie. You and her gave me a lot to think about this weekend. Thank you.
Oh, gosh, great point. I totally overlooked how stress activates the spending muscles. I got to think about this one. Fortunately, I’m about to hit the walking trails in a few minutes with Mrs. G. Love the way your mind works, Laurie. Have a great weekend.
Mr. Groovy recently posted…How To Be Less Spendy
Can’t wait to hear what comes out of the Groovy brainstorming session. Have a great walk!!
Haha. Had a great walk but it wasn’t long enough to solve this one. I did come to the conclusion that the major causes of stress are lack of money and lack of time. Now I just got to come up with some pithy ways to beat back those two foes. Thankfully, Mrs. G and I hit the greenway every day. I’ll keep you posted, Laurie. Cheers.
And emotional exhaustion. That has been the one that has been making it most difficult for me to be frugal. I’m working on it, but in the meantime………