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I sometimes wonder if there’s a FI gene.
Up until my early 40s, I was a financial moron. But not because I knew the difference between financial rights and wrongs and voluntarily chose to engage in financial self-sabotage. Nope, I was a financial moron because I didn’t know better. My family and friends were mostly civil servants who didn’t save for retirement (pensions and Social Security had that covered) or have emergency funds (civil service protections negated the need for that) but worked hard, obeyed the law, and always paid their bills.
Then the fickle finger of fate smiled upon me. I got married to the fabulous Mrs. Groovy in 2002 and in 2003 she introduced me to Dave Ramsey and The Total Money Makeover. And as I was reading Dave’s plan for righting one’s financial ship, I found myself getting bowled over by a life-changing epiphany:
“Really? The only things separating me from financial peace are a budget, a healthy fear of debt, a willingness to live below my means, and a commitment to investing in mutual funds. Count me in!”
From that point on, Mrs. Groovy and I completely renounced financial self-sabotage. No more would we muddle through life living paycheck to paycheck. We got out of debt, lived well below our means, and started to invest heavily in the stock market. And 14 years after Mrs. Groovy handed me The Total Money Makeover, she and I were financially independent.
But the question remains. Why was I so receptive to Dave Ramsey and the subsequent FI community? Did I always have a FI gene, if you will, and it was just a matter of someone or something activating it?
Well, if there isn’t a FI gene, there are at least two traits that make one receptive to the FI idea and the sacrifices needed to make FI a reality:
- Are you open to questioning your culture? Most of us aren’t born into financially sophisticated families and communities. Most of us, in other words, are raised by people with some fairly dismal financial habits and attitudes. This doesn’t mean, of course, that our families, friends, and neighbors are bad people. It just means 1) they aren’t the best role models when it comes to building wealth, and 2) if you want to do better financially, you need to embrace a better financial culture. If you’re unwilling to renounce your inherited financial culture, and it has a poor record of generating wealth, you will likely live a life of want and struggle. It’s as simple as that.
- Are you open to challenging your ego? We all pine for love and glory. Nothing wrong with that, per se. But if you are constantly puffing up your image by buying things you can’t afford, you will never get ahead financially. You will be yoked to debt and living paycheck to paycheck. The only way to build wealth on a middle-class income is to live in a modest home, drive a crappy car, wear ordinary clothes, and enjoy mundane entertainments. If your ego can’t handle that, and you’re saddled with a middle-class income, you will never know financial security or financial independence.
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. What say you? Is there a FI gene that some people have and others don’t? Or can we all be taught to recognize and reject the financially disastrous aspects of our cultures and egos? Let me know what you think when you get a chance. Peace.
My path to financial independence is very similar to yours. For my first 15 years out of college, I thought the primary way to get to FI was to make more money. However, if your spending is not under control, making more money doesn’t get you anywhere. I finally got it when I read “The Great American Dream, How To Retire At 35”. I was 38 years old when I read it, but the light bulb was turned on with this book, and I saved over 30% of my income for the next 15 years. It is not a gene that you have. For me it was just a continual searching for the right answer, and when I found that, I was good to go. I am just glad that I found the right book that opened my eyes. It has made all the difference in my life.
“It is not a gene that you have. For me it was just a continual searching for the right answer, and when I found that, I was good to go.”
I love it. Just trying is half the battle. Always be learning, always be improving–however small those incremental improvements are.
My experience is it comes back to a victim/victor mindset. If we believe that we need someone else (our parents, a significant other, the government, society) to provide for our needs, it’s hard to get motivated to achieve MORE for ourselves.
Dave Ramsey said in an interview once that the only “privilege” he had growing up was HOPE. It’s hard to grapple that concept with my own kid now (as the only one of four poor siblings who made it financially), passing on the idea that you CAN make a better life for yourself no matter where you start.
Wow, Kim. Awesome comment. I came across a Jordan Peterson YouTube video the other day in which he states that most only achieve about 50 percent of their potential. Imagine if they reduced their time-wasting by just two hours a day! Check it out when you get a chance. I think it will resonate with you a lot.
How to Succeed in Life
My father and mother were frugal and careful with money. Mom always worked side jobs and dad always worked overtime as his side hack. Mom never had a career per se, but dad had a union job with a pension. After he retired from that, he went to work for the NY subway and was able to get a pension there as well. Dad was able to add his military service 4 years like me, to his service with the subway (MTA) and get that pension as if he worked 4 more years.
Neither knew about the idea of 401ks and things like that. I learned how to save and earn. The invest part was something I had to learn. This is why I ended up finding a job in finance, and later finding this community.
The basics of a budget, planning, and saving were part of my childhood. One year, my parents said to my sister and I, who both wanted a big stereo, that they would match all we saved all summer and get us a more expensive stereo. I did, my sister did not, and I got a very nice stereo. She did not. This was one of many such attempts. My sister is still not good with money, and I continue to improve my skills as I learn more and more.
TLDR: I think there is something to this. My sister and I are opposites in this skill in spite of my parents attempts to teach us both to save.
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Thank you for sharing, GXF. It’s amazing how siblings raised in the same environment can be so different. I have a similar experience. Most of my family were civil servants. Others worked in the private sector. But only one uncle was entrepreneurial. And we didn’t have much contact with this uncle. My sister and I thus went the civil service/W2 route. My brother, however, went the entrepreneurial route. And I always marveled at this because he had no mentors. So what moved him to start a business? Why did he have a higher risk tolerance than me and my sister? Is it in the genes? The plot thickens, my friend. Great comment.
My wife and I have been wondering lately if people have another type of gene. To be politically correct (I know you love when we’re PC), let’s call it the “not-so-smart gene.”
Certain people we know with certain life situations usually choose to make similar decisions causing history to repeat itself.
I think to some extent we have a certain predisposition to certain traits like frugality. But it takes a voluntary act of the will to make the right decision time and time again. Having a spouse with a similar vision makes this easier. If that’s not an option, try finding an accountability partner who does.
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I think you and your wife are onto something. I remember reading in the book The Bell Curve by Charles Murray that IQ was the best predictor of social pathology than any other factor. And this is where our culture is letting us down. Low IQ people need a strong culture to keep them from hurting themselves. But today’s permissive culture gives low-IQ people the license to destroy themselves. Sigh. Great freakin’ comment, my friend.