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In 2002, my household income was $51,413. In 2006, my household income was $117,217. This 128% jump was accomplished without changing jobs, without getting a promotion, and without working overtime or moonlighting. So how did I pull off this economic miracle? I got freakin’ married.
If you’re not married, the best way to grow your income is to get married. Here are the income statistics on various household types from a recent Census Bureau report.
| Household Type | 2016 Median Household Income |
| Married Couple | $87,057 |
| Male Householder – Children, No Wife Present | $58,051 |
| Male Householder – No Children, No Wife Present | $41,749 |
| Female Householder – Children, No Husband Present | $41,027 |
| Female Householder – No Children, No Husband Present | $30,572 |
In 2016, an unmarried dude with no kids was making 48% of what a married couple was making. An unmarried dudette with no kids was making 35% of what a married couple was making. The economic benefits of marriage are impossible to deny. And it really should come as no surprise. A household with two working adults should on average out earn a household with one working adult.
Still doubt the income-boosting power of marriage? Consider this. I took the group household income statistics from the same Census Bureau report above and combined them with the group marriage statistics from a Pew Research Center report. Here are the results.
| Race/Ethnicity | 2016 Median Household Income | Percentage of Adults 18 or Older Who Are Married |
| Asian | $81,431 | 61% |
| White | $65,041 | 54% |
| Hispanic | $47,675 | 46% |
| Black | $39,490 | 30% |
Asians are twice as likely to be married as blacks and Asians have double the household income of blacks. Hmmm…I wonder why. Take note, groovy freedomist, Asian Americans are kicking ass. And this is largely the case not because they’re out-hustling other races and ethnicities—although there’s certainly an argument to be made for that—but because they’re out-marrying other races and ethnicities. Again, the evidence is incontrovertible. Groups with a higher affinity for marriage have higher household incomes than groups with a lower affinity for marriage because marriage has a profoundly positive effect on household income.
Life Is the Ultimate Group Project
Excuse me for a moment while I allow the Evil Mr. Groovy to vent. I don’t understand the aversion to marriage that so many Americans have, especially when you consider that our education system is so enamored with group projects. Well, life is the ultimate group project. Think about it. If you have a goal that is resource intense—buying a house, putting kids through college, saving for retirement, etcetera—wouldn’t that goal be a lot easier to achieve with the help of another person and the additional resources that he or she can bring to the table? I mean, c’mon marriage-phobic people. Get your minds right. Life is hard enough. Why go through life with one income, one brain, and two hands when you can go through life with two incomes, two brains, and four hands? What are you…insane?
How to Choose an Awesome Spouse
Sorry for that. Every once in a while the Evil Mr. Groovy must be let loosed upon our civil playground. This is the Good Mr. Groovy now, and while I fully appreciate the income-boosting power of marriage, I also appreciate why so many unmarried Americans are wary of the institution. I’ve watched enough episodes of Forensic Files to know that signing a marriage certificate can be the equivalent of signing a death warrant.
So let me introduce an important caveat to the number one Groovy way of hacking FI. If you’re not married, the best way to grow your income is to marry a kind person who isn’t in thrall of stuff and is willing to work hard and sacrifice for important, mutually-agreed-upon goals.
“Okay, Captain Obvious,” I hear your anguished mind bleating. “How exactly does one find such an awesome spouse? The divorce rate clearly indicates that this is no easy task.”
Man, this is a tough question. And I’m clearly not an expert. In short, my best advice is this: look for someone whose core attitudes and behaviors bespeak of substance rather than flash; look for someone who wants to be your hero—forever. To show what I mean, here are some of the notable attitudes and behaviors that helped me realize that Mrs. Groovy was a keeper.
- I had a crappy car when we first started dating and she didn’t care.
- She didn’t get her nails done.
- She was perfectly happy shopping in thrift shops for clothes.
- She didn’t want me to buy her a diamond engagement ring. She wanted to use a diamond ring passed down from her grandmother to announce our pending nuptials.
- She loved spending time with my grandparents.
- She had a passion for learning and self-improvement (we did meet in grad school, after all).
- She never criticized me for making less than most of our friends and family.
- She was always encouraging whenever I was doing something constructive; that is, she never complained about my absence or inattention if I was doing a home-improvement project, learning something new, or helping someone out.
And soon after we were married, more evidence of Mrs. Groovy’s commitment to Team Groovy emerged.
- She wanted us to save more.
- She brought the teachings of Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, and David Bach into our lives.
- She preferred celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, pseudo holidays (e.g., Valentine’s Day), and major milestones at White Castle or Carvel rather than fancy restaurants.
- She was willing to brave the horrid commute from Long Island to Manhattan in order to make more money.
- And she was willing to do something extreme in order to improve our financial well-being (e.g., uprooting our lives and moving from high-cost New York to low-cost North Carolina).
What qualities should one look for in a man? The same. You want a man who understands that consumerism is soulless and that sacrificing for you and the team you form is the epitome of manliness. You want a man who…
- Can control his temper.
- Isn’t afraid of work. Nothing is more pathetic than a lazy man.
- Has hobbies and interests but will gladly sacrifice them in order to pursue important financial goals.
- Understands that big-time athletes are grown men running around in costumes. They aren’t “heroes” to be worshiped.
- Can say no to mommy and his friends.
If you come across a man who fails to exhibit these qualities, especially the first two, run. That fellow isn’t marriage material, and the odds of him becoming marriage material are poor.
Final Thoughts
Like savings, marriage is a tool to advance your FI journey. But unlike savings, marriage can come back to bite you if you choose the wrong partner or fail to nurture the union you form. So marriage isn’t a foolproof tool. And what if marriage isn’t your thing or isn’t feasible for a variety of reasons? So I understand the reluctance of the FI community to make marriage a standard arrow in the FI quiver. But, man, when a marriage is healthy, nothing fortifies the soul better or makes the drive to FI easier.
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. What say you? Is marriage something the FI community should advocate more openly? After all, the 9.9 percent certainly have an affinity for marriage. Or should I keep my twisted notions of marriage to myself. Let me know what you think when you get a chance. Peace.
“Why go through life with one income, one brain, and two hands when you can go through life with two incomes, two brains, and four hands? What are you…insane?”
Bahwahahaha I don’t know why but that made me laugh like crazy (and it’s midnight!) – I like to think of marriage like a combo in one of those fighting video electronic games kids like to play with so much. Get it right and it’s -150 instead of -90 damage but you have to get it RIGHT.
I don’t think my husband was thinking about any of that though… although that’s a stellar list to live up to. But I think he was thinking “oh cute girl can stand me — DON’T MESS IT UP.” I think some men need to be more picky about frugality and financial awareness…my hubby just got lucky that I’m El Cheapo.
My wife is awesome. She’s money-savvy and frugal, too, although she has had her mistakes with money. But I have, too. What’s great is not only do we now how two incomes together, we keep each other accountable with money as well.
JoeHx recently posted…Let’s Build a Diversified Stock Portfolio
This post is honestly one of my favorites in the PF blogosphere! You’ve bullied the statistical bullies!
“Take note, groovy freedomist, Asian Americans are kicking ass. And this is largely the case not because they’re out-hustling other races and ethnicities—although there’s certainly an argument to be made for that—but because they’re out-marrying other races and ethnicities.”
Such a strong (if accidental) retort to the ideas commonly espoused on Twitter that certain people are facing “institutional racism” on a large scale just because of differing mean or median household income between races. Correlation does not necessarily equal causation…who would have thought? Except Vigilantes and Groovy Freedomists, of course!
* Disclaimer: Of course racism and sexism and other -isms exist. But with the recent addition of gay marriage to our laws, I am hard-pressed to find any sign of any “institutionalized” isms. They are generally marginalized and operate primarily to the detriment of the person who practices the -ism. I’d love my competitors to not hire a certain race – I’ll take all the talent!
The Vigilante recently posted…Net Worth 2Q 2018: The First 100,000 is the Greatest Cliche
Haha, well marriage only helped my income situation while I was on disability. By the time I got a job, Tim was on disability himself. Which means he still increases our income, but with his medical issues…
But for most healthy people you’re absolutely right: Marriage is a great way to nearly (or more than) double your income. Plus that whole love and life partner thing, yada yada 😉
“Plus that whole love and life partner thing, yada yada 😉”
Oh, Abigail, I love you (in a wholesome platonic way, of course). You’re so incorrigible. And so wise. Thanks for reminding us of the important qualifiers when it comes to marriage. You’re the best.
> Understands that big-time athletes are grown men running around in costumes. They aren’t “heroes” to be worshiped.
That’s a good one. Something I’ve found myself thinking before, but hadn’t heard others voice.
Just recently started life after college and my girlfriend is soon moving in with me. She’s similar to Mrs. Groovy; does her own nails when she feels like getting them done, buys jeans from Costco, is into the whole FIRE thing, and loves spending time with my family.
Hopefully we can eventually be like the Groovy marriage you guys have going on, thanks Mr. Groovy
LOL! I love it, Gonzalo. Around ten years ago the stupidity of sports hit me. But I never voiced my dark feelings until a couple of years ago. And you know what? Most of my friends said they felt the same way. But they never said anything because they felt everyone else was still into sports. Great comment, my friend. And it sounds like you got a great girlfriend. Don’t let her get away. Cheers.
Marriage when done right can be an amazing boost to both your financial and emotional world. The IRS gives higher tax brackets for married people and deductions have higher phase out limits.
My biggest financial and emotional mistake (which is included in the financial mistake series I launched my blog with) was getting married to the absolute wrong partner (it was an arranged marriage).
I spent 7 miserable years and when I filed for divorce she became incredibly vindictive. The senior judge presiding said it was the worst case he had ever seen (not a title you want to have).
By the time everything was said and done it was a 7 figure hit to my net worth.
So yes marriage can be a financial hack but it can also be a double edged sword and slice you in half if not worse
i’m curious, b/c I’ve heard arranged marriages have a good success rate. My presumption was that since both partners know so little about one another, it forces them into a “growth mindset” wherein they learn/adapt to become compatible. Your experience contradicts this surmise and thus it should be most informative
There are some that are successful no doubt, especially if the husband/wife stay in the country where it is a way of life and there are strong ties to the family. In my case unfortunately it did not turn out to be the case at all and was a nightmare experience.
rather than rehash it, if you are still interested, please check out my blog post on it describing in more detail:
https://xrayvsn.com/2018/05/15/i-have-pretty-much-made-every-mistake-in-the-book-part-iii-2/
Thank you, Xrayvsn. Looking forward to reading it.
I had the exact same thoughts, Steve. Looking forward to Xrayvsn’s take on arranged marriages.
You’re not wrong, my friend. I have a friend who first wife was a certifiable nut and she put him through the wringer. His next wife was a gem, however. So, yes, marriage is definitely a double-edged sword. To paraphrase George Washington, “marriage, like fire, is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” Thanks for stopping by, Xrayvsn. Great freakin’ comment.
I appreciate that Mr. Groovy.
It is funny you mentioned your friend had a wife who was a certifiable nut.
Mine finally got diagnosed with a mental disorder years after the divorce (even though during the divorce I kept pleading my case that she was (and I was a physician and they wouldn’t believe me). Glad to see your friend found a gem in his 2nd attempt. As Willie Nelson said, “Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.” Just a chance to salvage my life was worth the pain of going through it.
(I was at the hospital greeting my first grandchild into the world.) Years back I was having a father-son talk when he was on the verge of discovering girls. I said, that some girls are prettier than others, and smarter, etc. BUT the Number One attribute to avoid was CRAZY. It doesn’t matter whether she’s the the most beautiful girl on the planet, if she’s nuts, she’ll make you miserable. Look for sanity! He seems to have married well and I think the next generation is in good hands.
It is very powerful. Not only for the earning potential but the motivation that you can bring to each other.
Just make sure you don’t marry for money that will backfire quickly!
Nailed it, DM. Mrs. Groovy certainly lit a fire under my butt.
“Can control his temper.
Isn’t afraid of work. Nothing is more pathetic than a lazy man.
Has hobbies and interests but will gladly sacrifice them in order to pursue important financial goals.
Understands that big-time athletes are grown men running around in costumes. They aren’t “heroes” to be worshiped.
Can say no to mommy and his friends.”
Yes, yes, yes, and yes! These are words of wisdom for sure. Mr. FAF has struggled with some of the qualities above (i.e. playing video games excessively while he should have focused on his school at one point). But he has greatly improved, and I’ll give him credit for that 😀
Absolutely, Mrs. FAF. As long as there are always new iterations of Mr. FAF and each new iteration is better than the previous one, then Mr. FAF is a keeper.
I am surprised at how low the average salary is for a single male. I have been through two divorces and one other bad relationship. I find being single allows me the time to make an excellent salary. I appreciate how important marriage is to my family and friends but I am gratefully single
Yeah, I found that curious too. Perhaps men are more prone to sloth and vice without a spouse around?
Marrying the right person and staying married is huge. You can work as a team. Everything is easier when you have a partner you can trust. When one person falls apart, the other can pick up the slack. It’s a built-in support system and it made a huge difference for us.
Haha! No truer words have ever been written. If I never found Mrs. Groovy, I would have remained a broke loser. Thank you for summing up the power of a great marriage so succinctly.
Seriously. One of my earliest posts was about how marrying young was my best financial decision, but it really did set us up for success.
Give us the link, damn it! Don’t hold out on us.
Ha I guess you might want to read it, huh? 😉 From my very first month of blogging…
https://treadlightlyretireearly.com/2017/07/26/why-marrying-young-was-one-of-the-best-financial-decisions-ive-made-so-far/
Marriage has actually slowed my progress financially. Shortly after marriage we had a daughter. My wife is now a stay at home mum so our income is the same as when I was single and our expenses are much higher.
I realise you are talking about dual income households but just thought I would throw out this anomaly of single income with kids.
Good read thanks
No, I’m glad you mentioned the anomaly of having kids with a single income. This situation doesn’t always work out. I’ve had married friends who made it work and married friends who didn’t. Check out the Chain of Wealth podcast #82. The guest blogger, Penny from She Picks Up Pennies, talks this very issue.
Marriage can be a great financial hack, or it can ruin you. My wife and I have both been married before, and it wreaked havoc with my finances (after 25 years of marriage) and did nothing to help hers (only 3 years of marriage). Thankfully we’re in a much better place now, about to celebrate our 12th anniversary of marrying each other. Not only do we pool income and share expenses, but we act as accountability partners in budgeting, living frugally, and all things financial.
I agree that marriage is not for everyone, and it can be trickier than it seems to find the right partner. But when you’ve selected well and you both put in the effort, marriage is a beautiful thing.
Gary @ Super Saving Tips recently posted…Is it Ever OK to Ignore These Money Rules?
“I agree that marriage is not for everyone, and it can be trickier than it seems to find the right partner. But when you’ve selected well and you both put in the effort, marriage is a beautiful thing.”
This is the kind of wisdom I expect from you, my friend. You never fail to make me a little wiser.
Given the truth of your stats, consider the asians who routinely marry folks they’ve met only a short time before the wedding day and go into the institution essentially as strangers going into arranged marriages. Surprisingly they have a lower divorce rate than the US average. Indians enjoy better success at marriage b/c these boundary conditions require newlyweds to adapt and learn. This “growth” mindset vastly outperforms a “fixed” mindset when it comes to staying married over the long haul.
(Why, yes, i just finished reading the book “Mindset.”)
Perfect people never get married. The secret of marital success is to accommodate oneself to a spouse’s imperfections while working on mitigating one’s own imperfections. It’s a lifetime process and I’ve kept Mrs. Poling interested in me for 38 years.
“The secret of marital success is to accommodate oneself to a spouse’s imperfections while working on mitigating one’s own imperfections. ”
So true, brother. I’ve been working on my imperfections for sixteen years now. I still have a lot to improve, but Mr. Groovy 2.0 is much superior to Mr. Groovy 1.0. Thanks for stopping by, Steve. And thanks for mentioning, Mindset. I wasn’t familiar with it. It’s on my reading list now, though.
So true, I know my wife and I lived more frugally than I ever could have alone. She retired when we started having kids and never resumed working outside the home. I was a high earner in part because home was a refuge where not much was demanded of me. I pitched in and certainly was a good dad to our three kids but by the time I got home all the chores were done most of the time and I could relax. I considered every penny I earned to be equally hers and in fact she did handle the money and dole me out an allowance. I loved it that way. It was the traditional old school way to live but it was her choice and neither she nor I has ever regretted it. I think the kids benefited from having her at home and we also benefited when all three got completely free rides through their four year degrees. Zero cost to us for books, fees, tuition or room and board! That came, I’m convinced by having her able to monitor their homework and teach them good study habits. Plus none of them needed to move back home after college and all are gainfully employed in great careers. No support required to flow to grown kids because they are functioning adults. I can’t pin any of that exclusively on a stay at home parent but I think it definitely helped. Great post as always, you guys are the gold standard!
“I was a high earner in part because home was a refuge where not much was demanded of me.”
Holy division of labor, Batman! That’s the power of two brains and four hands. While one focuses on the home front, the other focuses on earning front. Thanks for sharing, Steveark. The notion of your three kids getting full rides to college gave me a tremendous CMLT. You and Mrs. Steveark are the bomb. Cheers, my friend.
i gotta tell you that getting married 14 years ago changed everything for us in the money game. 2 incomes, living cheap but fun, saving and investing. i needed that other person to feel responsible towards to get my sh’t together. it helped that we were in our 30’s with some miles of bad road in the rear view mirror and having been there allowed for some risk.
i would say #1: try and spot independent people. we would have been ok apart but better together without the “needy” factor. it allowed me to work the extra hours needed to achieve some things. i’m glad you found yours.
freddy smidlap recently posted…Fixing Up the House of Usher
“i needed that other person to feel responsible towards to get my sh’t together”
We’ve led parallel lives, my friend. Mrs. Groovy saved me from a life of penury and a life of aimlessness. And your suggestion on how to find a suitable mate is spot on. Haha! I may have to steal that one. Have a great weekend, my friend.
I totally agree. When I was dating, I would check to see how my boyfriends interacted with my parents, especially my Dad, a hardworking DIY mechanic. I remember one guy asked my father, “so what are you IN?” and my Dad replied “grease”. It was so funny. Later when my husband met him, they ended up in the garage, looking at engines and I wondered where they disappeared to.
There are so many factors that make life 1000 times better if you are lucky enough to discover a real gem of a partner like I did. A great “investment”!
“Later when my husband met him, they ended up in the garage, looking at engines and I wondered where they disappeared to.”
Oh, man, I got to add that to my list of qualities to look for in marriage-worthy man. Great comment, Susan. Thanks for sharing.
It’s so true! Not only does it increase your household income by a lot, it’s nice to have someone else as a team working towards a goal. Expenses are much less since everything is shared and generally life is a little easier when you’re looking out for each other. You’ve got it right though, letting each other win once in a while. 🙂
Mr. Saturday @ Seeking Saturdays recently posted…Our Best Tips for a Happy Life
“Expenses are much less since everything is shared and generally life is a little easier when you’re looking out for each other.”
Nailed it, Mr. S. Thanks for stopping by, my friend.
That’s funny, because I was on the other end of it. And sure, I’d help the dads with hard labor if the opportunity arose, but mostly I was the one testing HIM by bringing up FIRE concepts. Surprisingly, not one dad ever thought “This guy…lazy son of a bitch’ll never be good enough for my daughter!” (At least to my knowledge!)
The Vigilante recently posted…Net Worth 2Q 2018: The First 100,000 is the Greatest Cliche
Yeah, I’ll have to agree with you on this one. Not only financially, but also in every other aspect of life.
Mrs. Wow keeps me in line and makes me a better person. The added benefits of finance are just icing on the cake.
That said, it’s not easy, and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s definitely worth it. If you can find the right one.
“…it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.”
Haha! I find that hard to believe when it comes to Mrs. WoW.
But you’re absolutely right, my friend. The benefits of marrying the right one are non-financial as well. Have a great weekend, Mr. WoW. Always great hearing from you.
Marriage has a million benefits, and many are indeed financial. For those that mentioned divorce being costly, true. But do some quick math: If you’re splitting your now larger pot, you’ll still be better off aside from some extra “friction costs”.
Referring to divorce having friction costs makes me laugh. I’ll end here.
Didn’t think about the benefits of splitting a big pie. Good point. But those “friction costs” are a doozy. Have a great weekend.
On the one hand you are right, a mate increases your income and fi situation considerably. On the other divorce is probably the leading cost of financial failure. Not to mention in past years, though less so with new tax laws, the government had a marriage penalty for taxes. Ie finding a mate is good, but marriage itself is a gray area depending on your situation. Good to have you back posting on pf.
FullTimeFinance recently posted…The Grasshopper and Chengdu China
Thanks, FTF. Excellent comment, my friend. You’ll get no argument from me.
There is no question that a good marriage can be great for your finances. And a bad one can be devastating financially. I’m fortunate not to have any experience with the second option. Tom
Tom @ Dividends Diversify recently posted…Consider Your Possibilities
So true. Marry wrong and you can ruin your life. Without a doubt, this is one FI hack that must be approached with a great deal of contemplation. Have a great weekend, Tom.
Couldn’t agree more, my friend. Beyond just the added income, I’m convinced my wife stabilized my ass to the point I could actually be a responsible and valued employee. Evidenced by raises and promotions, AFTER we got married. Find a good spouse, be patient and attentive, and the benefits are many.
I hear ya, Cubert. I had the same experience. My career didn’t take off until I got married. Coincidence? No way. It’s amazing how a good spouse can focus your energies. Have a great weekend, my friend.
Great post. I was on the journey to financial independence before I was married. Luckily for me, the woman I married was like minded and wanted to reach financial independence too. When we got married, our plan was to live off of one salary and save the other salary. We have applied that approach for 11 years. It is a great wealth building hack that requires some solid budgeting skills.
I love it, Dave. “Two can live as cheaply as one.” And you’ve proved it! Have a great weekend, my friend.