Turning 60 In New York

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About a year ago, a dear childhood friend from New York called me and told me he was going to buy me dinner for my 60th birthday. Naturally, I assumed he was going to complete this transaction by visiting me in North Carolina. But I was wrong. His daughter had recently got engaged and their wedding date happened to coincide with my birthday. So this post is about my impressions of turning 60 in New York.

Pull-Up Goal Fail

First things first. For 2021, one of my most important goals was to do 30 pull-ups in a row by the time I turned 60. When I began the quest last October, I was able to do 18 pull-ups. Then, a month before I turned 60, I was able to do 28 pull-ups. I knew eeking out another two pull-ups was going to be tough. And I thought I might be able to get 29 pull-ups. Well, I was right and wrong. Adding two pull-ups was indeed a bridge too far. But so was adding one. On September 29, the day before our trip to New York, I went for my pull-up max and was only able to do 28. Absolutely no progress was made over the last month. Sigh. No one ever said getting old was going to be easy.

When In Rome

Mrs. Groovy and I have a love-hate relationship with New York. We grew up there, we still have family and friends there, and we know most New Yorkers are wonderful people. But for our taste, New York is way too socialist and way too credulous when it comes to the woke narrative being pushed 24/7/365 by our woke overlords. So whenever we go to New York, we know our freedom-loving souls are going to be subjected to a lot of microaggressions, and we prepare accordingly.

Most of the time, preparing for woke microaggressions entails nothing more than reminding ourselves that nothing we say or do can ever convince the typical New Yorker to abandon his or her undying faith in government and his or her unyielding commitment to the woke narrative. They like big government and they like Woke Crow (i.e. double standards that reward groups our woke overlords like and punish groups our woke overlords dislike). So it makes little sense to argue with them or take their microaggressions personally. If they’re wrong, they’re ultimately hurting themselves. They’re not hurting us. Our asses reside in North Carolina.

But this time around, we had to prepare for the specter of Covid. New Yorkers take the threat of Covid far more seriously than North Carolinians. And the last thing we needed on our New York adventure was to be accosted by a Covid Caren for not wearing a mask or be denied entry into a restaurant, bar, or catering hall because we were unvaxed. So we got our vaccination shots and packed an ample supply of masks.

Okay, on the morning of September 30, we were mentally and Faucily ready for our New York adventure, and we began our 517-mile trek to that bastion of wokeism. Here’s how it went.

The New York Adventure

Driving

Not bad. On the way up we only hit bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Belt Parkway by Knapp Street in Brooklyn. On the way down, we only hit bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 495 by Washington, D.C. All told, traffic congestion added about an hour and a half to our travel time. Instead of taking 18 hours to do the round-trip, it took us 19.5 hours. That’s a win in my book.

Roads

Again, not bad. The highways in Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey were perfectly fine. The highways on Long Island, though, were a little forlorn. But this was only in one direction. Heading east, the Belt Parkway and the Southern State had long stretches of pitted and scarred surfaces. Heading west, the Belt Parkway and the Southern State were recently paved and looked great.

Gas

Gas was more expensive in the northeast than in Louisburg, North Carolina, but not exceedingly so. In North Carolina, we pay between $2.90 and $3.00 for a gallon of gas. In the northeast, we paid between $3.20 and $3.30 for a gallon of gas.

Tolls

We paid $30 in tolls in each direction. That’s financially irksome, for sure, but since we don’t regularly drive to New York, it was tolerable. And Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, and New York made it even more tolerable by being part of the E-ZPass system. In August, Mrs. Groovy went online and signed up for E-ZPass via the New York Service Center, and in less than two weeks we had our E-ZPass transponder.

Litter

Very pleasantly surprised. There was litter in every state, of course, but nowhere near dystopian levels. New York had the most litter, but its “lead” in this category was slim. If I had to rate New York’s litter situation—one being non-existent and ten being zombie apocalypse—I’d give it a three. So kudos to New York. It’s being a better steward of its roadways than I expected.

Covid

Nobody cared. Wherever we went, whether it was a rest stop or a restaurant, nobody asked for proof of vaccination or demanded we wear a mask. Now admittedly, we didn’t stay or stop in New York City proper. Our only exposure to New York’s Covid response was on Long Island, and Long Island’s response was very much like North Carolina’s response. Vaccination was highly recommended but not required, and mask-wearing was highly recommended but not required. And Long Island’s live-and-let-live mentality proved to be especially fortuitous given the reason we were on Long Island in the first place. Could you imagine spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding and having the wedding venue enforcing mask-wearing and social distancing?  Thank God my dear friend was able to give his only daughter a normal wedding experience.

Notable Eateries

If you’re ever in Newark, Delaware, and crave sugar, you must go to the UDairy Creamery. I ordered the Delaware River Mud Pie and Mrs. Groovy ordered the 1923 French Vanilla. Both were to die for—amazing stuff.

And if you’re ever in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and crave a sit-down meal, you must go to Tito’s Diner. Mrs. Groovy had the gyro, which was very good, and I had the Philly cheesesteak, which was phenomenal (watch out Pat’s and Geno’s!). We completed our dinner by sharing a piece of German Chocolate Cake—and that cacophony of diabetes-inducing ingredients was every bit as good as the Delaware River Mud I had days earlier.

The Wedding Venue and the Wedding Weather

The weather for the wedding couldn’t have been better—sunny, 75 degrees, light breeze. And this was very fortunate considering the wedding ceremony and cocktail hour were both outdoors. Here are pictures of the wedding gazebo and the covered decks at the Land’s End catering hall.

New Yorkers are anything but shy. And depending on their mood, this can be a blessing or a curse.

Happily, we got them in a good mood for the wedding ceremony. Just as my dear friend and his beautiful daughter emerged from the catering hall and were walking towards the wedding gazebo, a Sayville Ferry teeming with people was cruising by. And sure enough, the ferry-goers weren’t shy about expressing their feelings. Amid the energetic hand-waving, there were shouts of “congratulations,” “you’re a lucky man,” and “you’re beautiful.” It was classic New-Yorkerism, and it set the tone for what was going to be a very enjoyable day.

The Wedding Stars and Wedding Guests

I’m not going to bore you with the gory details of the reception. I’m just going to point out two things.

First, the people who orchestrated this wedding nailed it. Land’s End’s facilities, food, and service were outstanding. The band rocked. The speeches by the best man and the maid of honor were excellent. And my dear friend and his lovely wife couldn’t have been more gracious; they did everything humanly possible to make sure Mrs. Groovy and I and all the other wedding guests had a wonderful time.

Second, the heroes of this wedding were without a doubt the young people. The bride and groom and all their siblings, cousins, and friends couldn’t have been more engaging and fun. And get this: they loved music from the 60s and 70s. That’s my freakin’ music, for heaven’s sake!

So what happens when you combine oldies-loving young people with a lot of super-cool boomers? Well, since the bride and groom’s wedding song was Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, I’ll answer this question by deferring to a classic scene from a classic movie. Check out the below clip from the movie The Deer Hunter:

This is what the wedding was like. But instead of a handful of sloppy drunks engaging in a sing-a-long, picture 75 to 100 mildly and not-so-mildly buzzed revelers engaging in a sing-a-long. It was damn near spiritual. And it was like this for the entire affair, including the after-party party back at the hotel.

Final Thoughts

Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience of turning 60 in New York. Cheers.