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In a post from last week, The Government Isn’t Going to Save You, I coined the phrase Personal Responsibility Warrior (PRW). Now, granted, proclaiming to be the inventor of a phrase is a rather bold statement. But I googled “personal responsibility warrior” and nothing came up, so I’m running with it. Not only am I the inventor of the Junior IRA, but I’m also the dude who introduced the phrase “personal responsibility warrior” into the American lexicon. Not too shabby for a little ol’ country blogger from North Carolina.
But what exactly is a PRW?
Well, for starters, a PRW is an adult of sound mind and body. A PRW is also a firm believer in rugged individualism. But beyond that, I haven’t formulated a precise definition. Creating a skeleton, after all, is easy. Putting meat and flesh on that skeleton is another matter.
What follows, then, is my attempt to put some meat and flesh on my PRW skeleton. I want to capture the mindset of a true PRW; that is, I want to capture the values and attitudes that a person must embrace to be recognized as a PRW.
Here we go.
You’re Not Entitled to Free Stuff
The first rule of the PRW mindset is this: You’re not entitled to someone else’s money, time, or goodwill just because you have a pulse. It’s your job to feed, clothe, house, educate, and doctor yourself. Not your mommy’s. Not the government’s. It’s also your job to save for your retirement. And if you fail to provide for yourself, you shouldn’t be surprised if you wind up miserable and broke.
Adopting this no-entitlement rule isn’t as difficult as you might suppose. It has three very important qualifiers.
First, when I say it’s your job to provide for yourself, I’m not advocating a super-extreme form of self-sufficiency. I don’t expect you to slaughter your own cows, make your own clothes, build your own car, construct your own home, and perform your own surgeries. No man or woman is an island. In order to provide for yourself, you will need help.
Second, help from others doesn’t violate the no-entitlement rule as long as the help is voluntary. If you ask your friend to help you fix your car, and your friend agrees to sacrifice his time, great. If you need food, and Walmart agrees to exchange a specified amount of groceries for a specified amount of money, super. This kind of help aligns perfectly well with the no-entitlement rule. No one is forcing your friend to be a good friend. No one is forcing Walmart to stock its stores with food and sell that food to you at a price you can afford.
Finally, third, help from others only poses a problem when it’s coerced. Hello government. But even here, some coerced help doesn’t run afoul of our no-entitlement rule. Think roads, parks, courts, and national defense. You pay for these goods and services out of your taxes, and you get to use these services immediately, without any stipulations. It doesn’t matter what your age, ethnicity, education level, income, and occupation might be. This coerced help, in effect, is you helping yourself. You’re exchanging value for value.
Now consider things such as food stamps, Pell grants, farm subsidies, Obamacare, and the mortgage-interest deduction. All taxpayers pay for these goodies, but not all taxpayers can take advantage of them. You need to have a mortgage, for instance, in order to take advantage of the mortgage-interest deduction. So if you happen to benefit from one of these goodies directly, you’re getting coerced help that runs afoul of our no-entitlement rule. Others are being forced by the government to subsidize your life; you’re receiving coerced charity.
But here’s the rub. Our country is so teeming with coerced charity, it’s impossible to avoid. And since foregoing all instances of coerced charity is neither feasible nor practical, there’s only one way for a PRW to abide by the no-entitlement rule: Don’t depend on coerced charity. Mrs. G and I, for instance, will be getting a very generous Obamacare subsidy starting in 2017. But we didn’t base our retirement on this subsidy. We saved enough money to pay for our health insurance ourselves. If Trumpcare subsidies prove to be a lot less generous, we won’t have to return to work. We’ll still be members of the idle class. We thus view coerced charity as an unavoidable bonus—a cherry atop the sundae of American life, if you will. If it’s thrust upon us, fine. If it’s taken away, oh well.
A PRW never expects or depends on coerced charity.
If Something Needs to Be Done, You Do It
Years ago, on some wintry day in the early 90s, I hopped on the LIRR with a couple of my buddies and headed to Penn Station. We had tickets to a New York Rangers game. And as my buddies and I traipsed through Penn Station on the way to Madison Square Garden, we saw the goalie on our hockey team (not the Rangers, our local beer-swilling amateur team) handing out sandwiches to the homeless.
If you play ice hockey at all, you learn pretty quickly that goalies are weird. But feeding the homeless in Penn Station? By yourself? On a Saturday night? That’s a special kind of weird. So my buddies and I went over to say hello and investigate.
It turned out our goalie had been feeding the homeless for a number of years. Once a month he would make a couple dozen sandwiches and trek into Penn Station from Long Island. When he was done handing out the sandwiches, he would go home. That was it. He wasn’t trying to be a hero. He was just trying to make life on this planet a little less “poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”
I’m glad I remembered this goalie. Yes, he was freakin’ weird. But he was a good egg, and the charity he performed in Penn Station is a perfect example of the second rule of the PRW mindset: If something needs to be done, you do it. You don’t wait for others. You don’t ask for permission. You don’t make excuses. You get off your butt and you show some initiative.
This do-it rule doesn’t just apply to charity. It applies to all aspects of life. Say, for example, you want a million dollars. If you’re a PRW, you first find out what you have to save monthly to build a million dollar portfolio (see chart below). Then, once you have that information, you do whatever you have to do to increase your income and/or decrease your expenses to make that monthly nut possible. If it means getting a second job, you get a second job. If it means getting rid of cable, you get rid of cable.
A PRW rejects apathy and inertia. A PRW embraces action.
Admit Your Screw-Ups and Welcome Your Punishment
I’m 55-years-old, and by virtue of reaching that advanced age, I’ve made tons of mistakes. And the most important thing I’ve learned about mistakes, especially the ones done at work, is this: own them immediately, don’t let them fester or become surprises. Tell your boss, or whoever was affected by your mistake, that you screwed up and you have absolutely no excuse. And you know what will happen to you? In most cases, nothing. The natural inclination of man is to accompany his mistakes with excuses and finger pointing. Do the opposite, and the people affected by your mistakes will find your honesty so refreshing, they’ll be hard pressed to exact punishment. And if they do exact punishment, so what? Punishment is the price you pay for honor.
A PRW owns his or her mistakes—proudly.
Don’t Use the Irresponsibility of Others to Justify Your Own Irresponsibility
A lot of Americans aren’t exactly paragons of responsibility. Consider the following statistics.
- Roughly 40% of births in America are to unwed mothers.
- In 2014, 47,055 Americans died from drug overdoses.
- Households with a zero or negative net worth have an average of $10,308 in credit card debt.
- In 2015, the average college graduate had a little more than $35,000 in student loan debt.
- The average cost of a wedding in America is now $26,645.
- The average cost of a new car in America now exceeds $33K.
- The median size of a new home in America is now 2,467 square feet. That’s over 900 square feet more than the median size of a new home built in the 1970s.
- Roughly 1 out of every 3 Americans over the age of 55 hasn’t saved a dime for retirement.
- Roughly 47% of American adults would have a hard time coming up with $400 if disaster struck.
But wait, it gets worse. Not only are Americans irresponsible when it comes to sex, recreation, and finances, but they’re also irresponsible when it comes to providing counsel. Just google “income inequality” and you’ll find no shortage of bright people who claim that opportunity in America is dead. See here, here, and here.
Really? America is an opportunity desert? Only those born into wealth and privilege can get ahead?
I’m the first one to admit that America has a lot of problems. But the sentiment that America lacks opportunity, especially for the poor, is total crap. Want to see what a real lack of opportunity looks like? Check out the video below. And as you watch those poor Indian children picking through garbage, consider our circumstances. Every child in America has access to a free public school. Every child in America has access to a free public library. Potable water, electricity, and internet service are so abundant, no one even thinks about these necessities. You don’t need permission from the government to delay childbearing. You don’t need permission from the government to learn a skill. You don’t need permission from the government to excel at work. You don’t need permission from the government to save money and invest in the stock market. And thanks to things such as WordPress, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube, Khan Academy, Udemy, Coursera, Etsy, EBay, Craigslist, TaskRabbit, Fiverr, EatWith, AirBnB, and Uber, the barriers to starting a business or a side-hustle have never been lower. And America lacks opportunity?
Okay, enough of my ranting. Let’s get to the point of this section.
Irresponsibility has been mainstreamed in America. You wouldn’t be weird if you procreated irresponsibly. You wouldn’t be weird if you waged war against your liver and brain cells every weekend. You wouldn’t be weird if you spent more than you earned and had debt up to your eyeballs. And you wouldn’t be weird if you drank the America-sucks Kool-Aid and refused to better your life. But you also wouldn’t be a PRW.
A PRW doesn’t use the irresponsibility of others to justify his or her own irresponsibility.
Prepare for the Worst
When Mrs. Groovy and I moved down to Charlotte, NC, we had enough money to buy a McMansion. But rather than buying a McMansion, we bought a very modest home instead. Why? Because we were preparing for a worse-case scenario. We didn’t know what our incomes were going to be after we relocated, but we figured we’d both be able to get jobs paying at least $10 an hour. We therefore bought a house that could be supported by two $10-an-hour jobs.
Happily, Mrs. Groovy and I managed to secure jobs that paid more than $10 an hour. Supporting the house we bought became a breeze. The money we saved from not buying a McMansion was used to turbo-charge our retirement savings. And that’s the beauty of preparing for the worst. When the worst doesn’t happen, you find yourself in a very comfortable place—with a lot more opportunities.
A PRW prepares for the worst.
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomists, there’s my stab at defining a personal responsibility warrior. How’d I do? Did I nail it? Or did I totally muck things up? Let me know what you think when you get a chance. And have a great weekend. Peace.
I am a millennial, but want nothing to do with millennial ways . . . I’d much rather be a personal responsibility warrior 🙂
You definitely hit all of the important points. Our futures are only limited by the excuses that we make for ourselves. I really hope that we succeed in teaching our children to be PRW’s too.
“Our futures are only limited by the excuses that we make for ourselves.”
So freakin’ true! I was an adept excuse-maker up until my late 30s. Once I started adopting the PRW mindset, however, everything began to change–for the better. Oh, the power of becoming a PRW. Thanks for stopping by, Harmony. I love hearing from certified PRWs.
Mr. Mt and I are in a weird spot where we work closely with kids who have been given the worst lots in life. Horrific abuse, drug addicted parents, neglect, ect. And while we have a lot of compassion, pity won’t help them. If they want to grow into successful adults, they can’t stay victims. Yes, they were victims. But they have to find a new identity. Because at the end of the day it’s their choices that will chart their path. And they have to make different choices than they have seen. It’s hard. We are here to help show a different path, but they are the ones who have to walk it.
“[P]ity won’t help them.” That says it all Ms. Mt. Your heart breaks for them, but in the real world, nobody cares about their horrific pasts. And that’s not a put down on the real world. A bank for instance is running a business. All it wants to know about you is if you’re a person who is likely to pay back your car loan or mortgage. The good news is that cultures are free. It doesn’t cost anything to adopt the PRW mindset. You’re a saint, Ms. Mt. I’m sure those kids your working with will have a fighting chance.
Nice post Mr. G, I think that #IamPRW is already trending on twitter!
We absolutely need more people in the U.S. to take up these values!
Agreed. You can never have enough PRWs. A nation of PRWs will crush a nation of SJWs.
Nice post, Mr. Groovy. I had to smile when I read
“Roughly 40% of births in America are to unwed mothers”
I’d be curious to know what % of births in America are to unwed fathers
Smile.
Haha! You are so right, Donna. Unwed mothers don’t become unwed mothers alone. They get a lot of help from some very dirtbaggy men. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, our culture doesn’t do a very good job of turning boys into responsible men. Sigh.
Oh, I think lots of them are wed, but just not to those women!
Ha, ha – couldn’t help myself! 🙂
LOL! Good one, Jon.
Your post clearly described me. Iwas reading about me. Thanks Mr Groovey for describing/ verbalizing it. Count me in. I am a PRW
PRWs of the world, unite! I love it, Marilyn. Our country won’t be fixed by Washington. It will be fixed when the number of PRWs in the country hits critical mass. Thanks for stopping by, Marilyn. It’s great to know the seeds of a revolution have been planted.
I agree on many points…but not everyone can be a warrior.
I myself received a pell grant-as well as a merit scholarship- when I was young and did not have a family who could financially support me. With part time work, the grant, the scholarship, and yes sometimes the kindness of strangers, I was able to turn my life around. The help enabled me to become a PRW as an adult.
I worry that in this harsh,and contentious, political climate folks might forget or overlook the part that to me is important…the best warriors,including the police, the firefighters and others in govt. know that true warriors are compassionate and protective.
“[T]he best warriors,including the police, the firefighters and others in govt. know that true warriors are compassionate and protective.” I couldn’t agree with you more, Madeline. Thanks for adding some necessary perspective. I really appreciate it.
Man, goalies are weird. I have a few close friends that are goalies and they continue to amaze me with their odd habits. I guess you have to be a little different to let guys rifle pucks at you every day.
As usual, I am on board with everything in this post and love the Take Action message you put out there. Don’t wait for someone else to do it!
LOL! Yes, the job of eating rifled pucks is not likely to attract the mentally stable anytime soon. And though I’ve never met a sane goalie, I’ve never met one without a big heart. They’re usually the best teammates, on and off the ice. Thanks for stopping by, AE. You made my weekend.
As a goalie, I fully agree with the “all goalies are weirdos” statement. My 2 year old keeps asking to play goalie and we are trying to redirect him into playing defense like his dad and uncle.
Love the story about feeding the homeless though. That’s an epicly awesome weirdness.
P.S. I loved this piece and I’m proud to be a PRW who is hopefully raising some PRWs.
Ohhhh – You may need to develop a cape or uniform if this PRW thing takes off! 🙂
I totally agree, people need to at least try to be self sufficient. Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule medical and physical disabilities come to mind, but for the most part people need to start stepping up! I understand the concept behind a Go Fund Me page. It was meant for good…but people have totally abused the purpose to help others and instead start pages for ridiculous things. Obviously, we don’t have to fund one if we don’t want to, but false claims or ridiculous reasoning has made me question the authenticity of others claims. Is this my cynical side creeping in? Probably. But it is hard these days to distinguish between real need and those who just want.
So much good stuff to comment on here but to spare you from a super long one (like yesterday’s!) I’ll just add that the weird goalie sounds like he had a great heart. I wish we had more weird goalies in the world!!
Haha! Mrs. G talked about a PRW mascot with a cape too. And I hear you about the cynical side creeping in. But this is so hard to avoid when everything man touches is tainted to one degree or another with corruption and tomfoolery. Meh. On a brighter note, my weird goalie friend did indeed have a great heart. I’m with you, Miss M, this world could use a lot more weird goalies.
Who does not want to be a PRW…!
Some good habits started at my age of 22nd… some only at age 38… better late than never.
I love it, Amber Tree. Not much downside to being a PRW, regardless of what age you become one. I didn’t wake up until my late 30s. And I didn’t become a certified PRW until my mid 40s.
I think you nailed it and I loved the concept of coerced charity. I couldn’t agree more with anything said. It is totally fine and dandy to take advantage of the tax code (ObamaCare, interest deduction etc) to your benefit. You’re stupid not too. But being silly enough to think these benefits will last forever and bring solely dependent on them is asking for trouble.
Count me in as a PRW!
The federal government is $19 trillion in debt. Every state in the union has underfunded pension and healthcare obligations. And our fiscal woes aren’t getting better anytime soon. As you so succinctly put it, TGS, anyone who thinks the government gravy train is going to last forever is “silly” and “asking for trouble.” Thanks for stopping by, my friend. It’s always great hearing from another PRW.
I like your definition of a PRW (good job putting meat on those bones) and I admire the values you believe a PRW should espouse. However, I disagree with some of your classifications. Your definition of coerced charity rubbed me the wrong way. Your implication that being an unwed mother is irresponsible also doesn’t sit well with me (becoming a parent my accident is irresponsible, becoming a parent when you cannot afford to care for a child is questionable – the question of whether you are wed or not is just completely irrelevant in my book).
Agreed. Coerced charity does have negative connotations. But here’s my dilemma: how would you distinguish those government goods and services that are opened to all and those government goods and services that are opened to only a few? I called the latter coerced charity because I’m paying for something I can’t use. And you make a fair point about unwed childbearing. Not all unmarried women who have children are irresponsible. I got to work on that. I will say in my defense, though, that I wouldn’t want a daughter of mine having a child out of wedlock. Similarly, I wouldn’t want a daughter of mine foregoing college. In other words, I would encourage my daughter to play the odds. You aren’t a bad person if you have a child out of wedlock. And you aren’t a bad person if you don’t go to college. But if you decide to venture down either of these roads, you’re saddling yourself with an economic albatross that you probably won’t recover from. Thanks for the push back, Mrs. Bita. I got to do better on my end expressing my points.
First of all: I have always liked and respected how you deal with dissent on your comment wall. You encourage actual discourse, which is such a rare and special thing.
Let me try and respond to “how would you distinguish those government goods and services that are opened to all and those government goods and services that are opened to only a few?”
I think I find that acceptable because I look at them much the same way as I look at medical insurance. It is more about numbers and probabilities than anything else. Medical insurance works because it plays the odds. Everybody pays in, the unhealthy people get the pay out. Why is this ok? Because I, or someone I love, could easily be the person who needs the pay out. It can happen at any time, for circumstances that are entirely out of my control. I could be a paragon of virtue, eat healthy and exercise and I could get hit by a bus or a cancer stick. I could have a difficult birth requiring the best (and most expensive) medical care. So, because I believe that it _could_ be me, I am willing to pay in.
I think I fundamentally believe this is true of most government programs. It isn’t me today. It isn’t anyone I love. I don’t believe that this is purely because of how awesome I am though. I think I got lucky. And so I am willing to pay for those who didn’t. And hope that if the tables turn, others will similarly have my back. This obviously isn’t true of _every_ government program out there, but it is true of many.
Awesome freakin’ reply. I love the way your mind works, Mrs. BITA. And I agree with you totally. The medical insurance example was spot on. But here’s where we may differ. I look at the compassion-industrial complex (i.e., government provided healthcare, education, business subsidies, and welfare) the same way I look at the military-industrial complex. They both provide valuable services, but I don’t want to become a slave to either of them. In other words, I don’t think either complex should have an unlimited right to my income/wealth. If either did, I would be free in name only. So, yes, I’m all for a safety net. Just like I’m for national defense. But I’m also for freedom. And if it’s a choice between my freedom and a more robust compassion-industrial complex or a more robust military-industrial complex, I’m choosing my freedom. The question before us then is this: has the compassion-industrial complex reached the point where it’s now encroaching on my freedom. I think it is. But there are obviously millions of others who think differently. Damn this constitutional republic stuff is hard. Thanks for stopping by, Mrs. BITA, and fighting the good fight. You’re a worthy opponent.
Mr. G, have you read A Man Called Ove? Your post today reminds me so very much of that book, and I think you’ll love it too.
Thank you, Julie. No, I’m not familiar with A Man Called Ove. Checking with my library now. Thanks for the tip.
“Creating a skeleton, after all, is easy. Putting meat and flesh on that skeleton is another matter.” That’s what I’ve learned from watching Westworld.
I hold myself to all of these standards and I think that everyone should try to do the same. I’m a bit uncomfortable with the idea of government benefits being considered coerced charity, though. It just has such a negative connotation and feels like we are judging people who receive benefits. The recipients of Pell Grants for example are usually kids coming out of very disadvantaged households. I was very lucky not to have to grow up in a disadvantaged situation and have no problem with paying my tax dollars to help those who were born into less lucky situations. That assistance isn’t coerced from me.
That said, great article and a solid list of things to aspire towards.
Agreed, Matt. I’m a big believer in coerced charity, but only for the poor. And you are right that the phrase coerced charity does have a negative connotation. I got to work on that. Promoting my PRW concept would be easier without such indelicate phrases.
I like the whole PRW concept. Flashing back to my childhood one of my favorite cartoons was the grasshopper and the ant. The grasshopper fritters away the summer and spring while the ant busts it’s tail to prepare for tougher times. I fear society has drifted away from the concept of the ant, but I always want to be the ant. Help is great, and maybe someday I’ll need a helping hand due to a surprise issue, but it won’t be because I didn’t prepare for it by being the grasshopper. If it were I’d feel shame.
Thank you, FTF. I forgot all about the ant and the grasshopper fable. Excellent analogy. We definitely need fewer grasshoppers and more ants in this country. Like you said, nothing wrong with getting and receiving help. The key is to 1) not expect it, and 2) be worthy of it. Thanks for stopping by, FTF. Always great hearing from a fellow PRW.
I love the whole Personal Responsibility Warrior thing (quick, get a patent on that sucker…it’s worth something!). It’s a great concept, that far too many folks are blinded to by the social norms of our deteriorating society.
I suspect the number of FIRE enthusiasts who are PRW’s would be far in excess of the population as a whole. What more proof do you need that being personally responsible is the right path for long term success?
Well done, great series. Keep preachin’ it, Mr G!!
I was thinking the exact same thing about FIRE enthusiasts Fritz and I love the PRW idea! You nailed this Mr. G! I was getting a little worried when you talked about things like PELL grants being “coerced charity”. It’s next to impossible to turn things like that down. Love your idea to not depend on them though – THAT is the most important thing. Great post!
THANK YOU, VICKI! I used PELL grants to show that there are two kinds of government goods and services. Those that are available to everyone (i.e, roads), and those that are only available to certain people (i.e., PELL grants). I used the term “coerced charity” to describe those government goods that aren’t available to everyone. That may have been a bad choice. “Coerced charity” sounds pejorative. And that wasn’t my intent. My intent was to aver that PRWs shouldn’t count on or depend on programs like PELL grants.
“Personal Responsibility Warrior: I love the smell of paying bills in the morning!”
Hey, if SJW can be a thing, why not PRW? I like the cut of your jib, Fritz.
Personal Responsibility seems to come from a bygone era. I remember my father hustling every day as a small town lawyer with no faith in Social Security back in the 80’s. Now everyone wants a participation trophy and cushy job! My wife runs ecommerce sites and can’t find to hire Americans –not qualified and too demanding. Time to wake up and dig deep. Face the new global challenges and compete. GREAT POST!
Amen, my friend. I kind of know what your wife is going through. I was walking by a construction site the other day, and there were about a half dozen latinos/mexicans working like banshees on a new house. In the driveway, there was an electrician’s truck with two Americans sleeping in it.
Well done! You hit all the points I was expecting to see and then some. *nobody owes you anything. *no crying over spilled milk. *learn from your mistakes and move on. *you want something, go get it. *can’t get it? Sorry, find another way or another goal because nobody owes you anything. *need help? Ask for it, don’t wait for it.
Despite the gruff sounding reply, I actually feel like a pretty compassionate guy. I’m not opposed to helping out and I don’t resent those that need help. What I don’t like are expectations of those things.
And I want to be more like your goalie pal. Quietly doing good in the world without expectation of recognition or reward. Hats off to you, Goalie Man!
Awesome, Ty. This comment made my point in about 1500 fewer words! And you’re absolutely right about Goalie Man. You can never have enough of people like him.