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I was a lazy shit this week. I had a bunch of posts in the hopper that were about halfway done, but I couldn’t muster the will to finish any of them. So rather than post nothing this week and leave my fans and groupies crestfallen, I decided to mail in a cheap update post. Here we go.
The Bison Build
I have reached a milestone on the bison build. The sheet metal hide of the beast is now complete. Here are some pictures:
As I was nearing the end of the hide phase, I feared the top of the beast way more than I feared the bottom of the beast. But capping the long spine of Billy Bob turned out to be relatively easy. The bottom or underside of Billy Bob, however, turned out to be far more challenging than I expected. First, lying on your back and welding really exposes the inadequacies of your protective equipment. Welding sparks found any exposed skin and burned through my welding shirt in numerous spots. Ouch. Second, for whatever reason, I couldn’t lie on my back and not escape the feeling of nausea. It was horrible. My only remedy was to limit the length of my welding sessions. Normally, I would weld for two to three hours. But on those days when I was working on Billy Bob’s underside, I would stop after 30 minutes.
The next and last phase of the bison build is the hair. My goal is to cover the front half of Billy Bob with old tools and utensils (see the above picture). I should have this done by the time 2022 rolls around. And if not, I will definitely have it done by next spring, the time we plan to secure Billy Bob to a concrete platform on our front lawn.
The Pull-Up Quest
Last October, I gave myself three audacious goals. I wanted to do 30 pull-ups, 10 muscle-ups, and 1 one-arm pull-up by the time October rolled around again and I turned 60. Now, don’t ask me why I came up with these goals. Even if I reach them they’re all pretty meaningless. After all, does anyone really care that some 60-year-old putz can do 30 pull-ups? But man is nothing unless he’s pursuing something ridiculous, so I’ve somewhat soldiered on. Here’s where the quest stands as of today:
One One-Arm Pull-Up
Forget about it. Haven’t trained for this goal in at least six months. This goal is officially over.
Ten Muscle-Ups
Another fail. Haven’t trained for this goal in at least six months as well. Like the one-arm pull-up, this goal is officially over.
Thirty Pull-Ups
Thankfully, I have been consistent in training for this goal. And I have made substantial progress. The last time I reported my pull-up count was back in November of 2020. At that time I managed to do 19 pull-ups. This past Monday, I managed to do 28 pull-ups. So I got a month to eke out two more. Can I do it? I don’t know. It’s going to be tough. Twenty-nine is a distinct possibility. Thirty is probably a bridge too far.
A Pull-Up Perspective
I know doing 28 or 29 pull-ups in a row is meaningless. But it’s still pretty neat—especially at 60 years old. And to prove why this is so, I searched the internet for some pull-up standards. Here’s what I found:
Fitness Assessment for US Military Academies
In order for a male candidate to get the maximum 100 points for the pull-up portion of our military academies’ Candidate Fitness Assessment, he needs to do 18 pull-ups. Check it out:
John Sifferman
John Sifferman runs a website called Physical Living, and he’s the creator of The Pull-Up Solution. So he’s obviously one of the world’s leading experts on pull-ups, and his pull-up standards for men are as follows:
ExRx.net
Finally, ExRx bills itself as a “comprehensive exercise library” with fitness norms for over 1900 exercises. Sounds pretty authoritative to me. Anyway, here are its fitness norms for pull-ups:
The Conclusion to Our Pull-Up Perspective
I could easily get the maximum score on the pull-up portion of our military’s Candidate Fitness Assessment. ExRx, which runs the world’s foremost exercise library, says I’m easily in the 95 percentile of all maledom when it comes to pull-ups. And, finally, the legendary John Stifferman says I’m “wicked sick” when it comes to pull-ups. So, yes, doing 28 or 29 pull-ups in a row is ultimately meaningless. But smashing the pull-up standards of these authoritative sources has to count for something, right? Right?!!!
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend. Cheers.
I’ve been following this blog long enough to remember when you were calling the bison “Peggy Sue”. When did the name change occur? I think I missed the post.
Congrats on the “Wicked Sick” number of pull ups. I am within a month of your age and I can only do half as many.
Best Regards,
EG
Truly a masterpiece and something to be proud of! I recall your original plans and thought what an ambitious project. Billy Bob looks amazing!!!
If you were to build a Mrs. Billy Bob, maybe you construct her on a rotating stand (like a spit) to avoid welding from underneath.
shannon@retiresgreat recently posted…The Real Reasons You Should Never Retire, Unless You Want To
Shannon, you’re amazing. I was thinking along the same lines for the next build–whatever creature I decide to replicate. I was thinking of a platform that could be raised or lowered. But something that could rotate/flip the project piece might make more sense. You got a keen mind, my friend. Peace.
LOVE the chin hair!
What a great idea.
Thank you, FJ. Mrs. Groovy and I are in the process of collecting all the tools and utensils needed to cover the rest of Billy Bob. We have a nearby garbage dump with a bin dedicated to metal stuff, and we’ve been making the rounds of the local yard sales. So I imagine it shouldn’t be too difficult getting all the material we need for the hair phase of the bison build. We’ll see. Only time will tell, of course. How are you guys doing? We see a lot of Sydney lockdown news over here. We don’t see any reports on Melbourne, though. Hope you and the kiddos are safe and doing well. Cheers from crazy America.
You mean the Sydney “mockdown”, not lockdown!
We in Melbourne are furious that after all of our sacrifices last year to defeat the virus so the rest of Australia didn’t suffer, NSW let it rip.
Our vaccination rollout was terribly bungled, so we have less than 40$ of the adult population fully vaccinated.
At the moment I’m sitting in our 6th lockdown, with a 5km travel limit, curfew and nearly every business shut, or delivering.
When we get to 80% vaccinated (probs near the end of the year) we’ll be reasonably good to go. As our premier said yesterday, “We can’t keep on locking this country down to protect those who won’t protect themselves.”
Antarctica has been pushed back to December next year, which is all good.
But seeing as I like my own company and I LOVE being retired, life’s still fantastic here. 🙂
It’s my birthday today – woo hoo! About to take the little woofs for a walk to the beach. Remember our beach?
Frogdancer Jones recently posted…SUCCESS!
I got four points to make.
1. It’s nice to see that America isn’t the only country screwing up the handling of Covid.
2. Mrs. G and realized pretty quickly that Melbourneites are way cooler than Sydneyites.
3. Happy birthday! Mrs. G and I were so happy to have met you. You’re a peach and a great ambassador of Oz. Hope you had a rollicking good time on your special day.
4. And, finally, we do remember your beach. It was a slice of heaven just a few blocks from your front door. We’re still jealous.
You’re wicked sick, my friend, and not only for doing an insane 28 pull-ups in a row. Nope, your wicked sick for laying on your back and welding above your body. Superhuman, Olympian, or Immortal may all apply.
And…Billy Bob looks AMAZING! You’ll have to share pics of how you move that beast out to his pasture when the time comes….
Haha! Laying on the back stuff was brutal. Now I know how Michelangelo felt. But no one ever said creating great art was going to be easy! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Peace, my friend.
Your tough Mr. Groovy! Tough in mind and tough in body, a mans man. That’s the way us older tough guys roll. Setting goals and kicking aside the ones that don’t work for us and going like hell toward the ones that do. Hahaha good job on the bison and the pull ups. Keep giving um hell.
“Tough in mind and tough in body, a man’s man.”
You’re way too kind, Art. But at this stage of the game, I accept all superlatives. Have a great Labor Day, my friend. Cheers.
Billy Bob looks fantastic! Great job.
For some reason, I thought the Buffalo’s name was originally Betty? When did she become a boy?
Hey Heather. Good catch. When I began the bison project I gave my creation the name of Becky Sue. Why I did this was mainly out of custom. Mrs Groovy and I always named our cars after females. We called our first car Lucille. Our second car was called Lucy. And we call our current car Penny. So our default position is to give any clanking monstrosity of metal a female name. That’s why we began calling our beloved bison Becky Sue. But here’s the rub. I built Becky Sue with a curious appendage by its back legs. And as the bison build progressed, keeping the name of Becky Sue became untenable. So one day I unceremoniously substituted Billy Bob for Becky Sue. Admittedly, I handled the naming of my bison atrociously. My only defense is that this is the first time I’ve welded a life-sized bison and I was bound to make some serious boners (pun intended). I’ll do better on the next bison. I swear. Thanks for stopping by, Heather. Have a great weekend. Cheers.
Great answer Mr Groovy! And good to know that I was wasn’t confused about Billy Bob being a lady originally!
Nope, you’re not confused at all. You’re just someone with a razor-sharp memory. Have a great Labor Day, Heather. Peace.