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I was a lazy shit this week. I had a bunch of posts in the hopper that were about halfway done, but I couldn’t muster the will to finish any of them. So rather than post nothing this week and leave my fans and groupies crestfallen, I decided to mail in a cheap update post. Here we go.
The Bison Build
I have reached a milestone on the bison build. The sheet metal hide of the beast is now complete. Here are some pictures:
As I was nearing the end of the hide phase, I feared the top of the beast way more than I feared the bottom of the beast. But capping the long spine of Billy Bob turned out to be relatively easy. The bottom or underside of Billy Bob, however, turned out to be far more challenging than I expected. First, lying on your back and welding really exposes the inadequacies of your protective equipment. Welding sparks found any exposed skin and burned through my welding shirt in numerous spots. Ouch. Second, for whatever reason, I couldn’t lie on my back and not escape the feeling of nausea. It was horrible. My only remedy was to limit the length of my welding sessions. Normally, I would weld for two to three hours. But on those days when I was working on Billy Bob’s underside, I would stop after 30 minutes.
The next and last phase of the bison build is the hair. My goal is to cover the front half of Billy Bob with old tools and utensils (see the above picture). I should have this done by the time 2022 rolls around. And if not, I will definitely have it done by next spring, the time we plan to secure Billy Bob to a concrete platform on our front lawn.
The Pull-Up Quest
Last October, I gave myself three audacious goals. I wanted to do 30 pull-ups, 10 muscle-ups, and 1 one-arm pull-up by the time October rolled around again and I turned 60. Now, don’t ask me why I came up with these goals. Even if I reach them they’re all pretty meaningless. After all, does anyone really care that some 60-year-old putz can do 30 pull-ups? But man is nothing unless he’s pursuing something ridiculous, so I’ve somewhat soldiered on. Here’s where the quest stands as of today:
One One-Arm Pull-Up
Forget about it. Haven’t trained for this goal in at least six months. This goal is officially over.
Ten Muscle-Ups
Another fail. Haven’t trained for this goal in at least six months as well. Like the one-arm pull-up, this goal is officially over.
Thirty Pull-Ups
Thankfully, I have been consistent in training for this goal. And I have made substantial progress. The last time I reported my pull-up count was back in November of 2020. At that time I managed to do 19 pull-ups. This past Monday, I managed to do 28 pull-ups. So I got a month to eke out two more. Can I do it? I don’t know. It’s going to be tough. Twenty-nine is a distinct possibility. Thirty is probably a bridge too far.
A Pull-Up Perspective
I know doing 28 or 29 pull-ups in a row is meaningless. But it’s still pretty neat—especially at 60 years old. And to prove why this is so, I searched the internet for some pull-up standards. Here’s what I found:
Fitness Assessment for US Military Academies
In order for a male candidate to get the maximum 100 points for the pull-up portion of our military academies’ Candidate Fitness Assessment, he needs to do 18 pull-ups. Check it out:
John Sifferman
John Sifferman runs a website called Physical Living, and he’s the creator of The Pull-Up Solution. So he’s obviously one of the world’s leading experts on pull-ups, and his pull-up standards for men are as follows:
ExRx.net
Finally, ExRx bills itself as a “comprehensive exercise library” with fitness norms for over 1900 exercises. Sounds pretty authoritative to me. Anyway, here are its fitness norms for pull-ups:
The Conclusion to Our Pull-Up Perspective
I could easily get the maximum score on the pull-up portion of our military’s Candidate Fitness Assessment. ExRx, which runs the world’s foremost exercise library, says I’m easily in the 95 percentile of all maledom when it comes to pull-ups. And, finally, the legendary John Stifferman says I’m “wicked sick” when it comes to pull-ups. So, yes, doing 28 or 29 pull-ups in a row is ultimately meaningless. But smashing the pull-up standards of these authoritative sources has to count for something, right? Right?!!!
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend. Cheers.
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