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To paraphrase the Airplane character Steve McCroskey, “It looks like I picked the wrong year to write an ebook.”
Yeah, even though my ebook, The Groovy Guide to Financial Independence, is sure to revolutionize how Americans approach personal finance, it’s not coming to an ebook reader near you anytime soon. My goal was to publish it by this June. Now my goal is to publish it before FinCon 2018.
Part of the reason for the delay is technical. Writing a 90-page ebook is a lot harder than writing a blog post. Blog posts need not have a consistent narrative or theme. They’re just the harmless scribblings of a somewhat deranged soul. One week, those scribblings may be about optimizing Obamacare in retirement. The next week, they may be about the financial insights of a renowned cannibal. A book, however, is different. It cries out for coherence. Each chapter needs to logically follow the previous one and propel the reader toward a well thought out destination. Bringing coherence to my ebook, in turn, has proven to be a lot more time-consuming than I expected. A seamless tapestry of words and ideas does not happen overnight.
While my weaknesses as a writer and thinker are surely delaying the arrival of my first ebook, they’re not the main culprit. I’m not writing this generation’s War and Peace, after all. My opus is just a dinky 90-page ebook, for heaven’s sake. No, the main culprit is time. It’s hard to write an ebook while simultaneously getting one house ready for sale and orchestrating the construction of another. Realtors, lawyers, tradespeople, designers, engineers, and builders don’t give a rat’s ass about my take on financial independence. And that indifference simply means less hours to write. [Mrs. Groovy here. It doesn’t help when his wife interrupts him all the time. I’m turning over a new leaf. From 8am to 10am, his prime writing time, my lips are sealed.]
Okay, there’s my mea culpa. No opus until the summer—I hope. Let’s now see what these great time-sucks have been up to.
The Design Front
Our designer, Michael, has finally completed the design of Groovy Ranch. Before he sends the design to the engineer, however, he wants us to run the design past the three builders we’re considering working with. No sense moving forward with the design if the ball-park price estimates we get are beyond our means. Now, I don’t foresee the ball-park estimates being a problem, but you never know. In the meantime, however, here’s a tantalizing glimpse of Groovy Ranch. Once the design has been sent to the engineer, we’ll give you a peek inside.
The Builder Front
All three builders—Chuck, Terry, and Russell—have been sent the Groovy Ranch design for their feedback. Thus far, Mrs. Groovy and I have only met Chuck in person. We’ll be meeting Terry and Russell in person early next week.
Quick aside: The builder Terry knows the couple who bought the lot next to ours and he said they’re very nice people. They’re both in their 50s and they run the local hardware store in a nearby town. In other words, we couldn’t have picked better neighbors. Somebody up there likes us!
The Sale Front
For a couple of weeks now, the necessity of power-washing our home has been hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles. Frankly, I was in no mood to rent a power-washer and learn the intricacies of power-washing on a two-story home we’re about to sell.
But as fate would have it, I missed a turn driving back to our home late last week and we ended up driving down a block we rarely traverse. And, sure enough, on this block we rarely traverse, there’s a guy with power-washing equipment talking to a homeowner.
Justin from Splish Splash Pressure Washing turned out to be a godsend. He was one of the happiest people we ever met and his work was exemplary. Our home looks great. [Mrs. Groovy here. I think my husband is getting better at his poker-face because he had me convinced he was chomping at the bit to do the power-washing himself. He was all set to rent the equipment the very next day at Home Depot. Whenever I expressed concern at his prowess with this gas-run, water-spouting piece of machinery he has never used, he told me it would be a piece of cake. Naturally, I’m thrilled he jumped on hiring Justin.]
Finally, we’re nearing the finish line. Our realtor Hailey is coming by tomorrow with the photographer who shoots all of the photos for her listings. Our goal is to have our home on the market next Thursday, March 29th. The only thing that might hold us up is the two-tone siding on the front of our home. A couple of years ago I painted a few discolored planks with some paint borrowed from a neighbor. Well, the paint didn’t match and the contrast is distracting. I have the paint to make the front of our home uniform once again, but the weather isn’t cooperating. Every night the temperatures keep sinking into the 30s. Damn you, global warming! Where the hell are you when I need you?
Fight-O-Meter
Haha! No fights again this week. But Mrs. Groovy did manage to ridicule my opus. I don’t remember the exact words that rolled off her acerbic tongue, but it went something like this: “Oh, excuse me for interrupting the delicate genius. Think you can spend more time on getting this house ready for sale and less time on writing a book that no one’s going to read?” Ouch. What happened to the sweet little angel I married from Brooklyn? [Mrs. Groovy here. Neither of us know anything about marketing an e-book and we don’t have time to learn now. So why he’s intent on finishing this book on a deadline when we’re in the midst of homeland upheaval is beyond me. But my bad. I shouldn’t have attacked him. I think I should lose a point on the Fight-O-Meter.]
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. Things are starting to move on Groovy Ranch. In a couple of months, Mrs. Groovy and I will be moving in with my parents. And in three or four months after that, Mrs. Groovy and I should be sending you an invitation to the first Groovypalooza at Groovy Ranch. Peace.
By the way, if you’d like rather dated step-by-step instructions for how to publish an ebook, I can recommend this post by a fellow who has since retired.
http://diogenesclubarchives.blogspot.com/2013/02/how-to-publish-ebook.html
Thanks for the link, Steve!
I’ve no doubt you’ll figure out the e-book, and I look forward to reading it.
Sounds like a great score on the new neighbors. Thanks for the tease of the design. Can’t wait for Groovypalooza!!!
Thanks, Amy. We’re so relieved to hear we’ve got good neighbors.
More on the design coming soon!
Somehow this update slipped right by me. Yes, writing an ebook is a bit different than a blog post. I got about 75% done with mine when I decided that the subject matter was going to change before I could publish (it has to do with the healthcare area of finances). On the other hand, perhaps healthcare is waiting on my book to make a sudden change LOL. In any case, I’m sure your opus will see the light of day before mine.
The front of Groovy Ranch looks wonderful. Can’t wait to see the rest!
And I’m very glad the HOA takes care of powerwashing my condo because that’s something I just don’t need to learn.
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You’re very knowledgeable about healthcare and I think you’d write a great book. But you’re right about the changes.
Do you know of Laurence Kotlikoff who writes about Social Security? (He was also a write in candidate for President during the last election.) It wasn’t long after his book “Get What’s Yours” came out that the whole file and suspend thing changed and he had to revise it.
Wow! You’ve got a helluva lot going on. Can I come visit when Groovy Ranch is done, to hang out on that sweet front porch and sip old fashioneds with you guys? Way to make it happen!
Power washers still give me fits. I’ve used them before, but can’t seem to master the controls. They are peel too much off the deck, or don’t get it clean enough. So I just avoid it and the deck looks like shi…
Sure, come on over. I don’t know how to make an old fashioned but I’ll figure it out.
You’ve got to be very careful with power washers around decks and windows.
Decks are hard to maintain. We were going to use a product on ours called Deckover but then I read about how it hardens up quickly AND peels within a year. Most of the products sound awful. I think cleaning the deck and getting rid of mold and pollen are probably the main things, if you can do that from the start.
Sounds like everything is coming together great.
The world with just have to wait for the genius that will be your ebook. Thats ok. We need more time to prepare.
As for the house, looks great. Can’t wait to see more, and more importantly the Groovypaloosa sounds awesome!!
We discussed some final changes with Michael, our designer. He said even without the changes he can go ahead and submit the current plans to the engineering company because they’re running around 2 weeks behind.
Yes, prepare to be blown away. The book is Mr. Groovy at his best — especially the forward.
Hahaha Mrs G, so feisty!
Can’t wait to see the inside. Things are a-movin for you guys! Great news on the neighbors, too. That makes a WORLD of difference.
Our neighbors just put their house on the market and it’s sad. They’re super close friends of ours – the reason we moved from CA to MN, and the reason we built where we did. Hope our new neighbors are half as awesome. 🙂
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Thanks, Dave. Oh yeah, I’m a feisty one. But Mr. G knows how to handle me.
That IS sad about your friends. But with your personality I’m sure you’ve made other good friends in the area. Still, wow, that’s gotta be tough.
Have you met other bloggers in your area? I’m regularly in touch with a few former bloggers in your neck of the woods who are great people. Laurie from The Frugal Farmer and Kate from It’s A Kate Life.
I love the look of the home. Front porch livin’….ahh. And the happiest accidents happen with a missed turn, a godsent neighbor…serendipity at its finest!
I too have an acerbic tongue. More like a knife…that cuts real deep at times. Almost always inwardly flagellate myself after I wield that thing…Mrs. Groovy, I totally understand and Mr. Groovy, I know my sweetheart feels your pain. Yikes. Happens when I feel stressed…there’s sure to be an abundance of that right now with the homeland upheaval.
Good luck with the matchy matching paint. The joys of homeownership are real!
Are you a fan of country music? Your line about the missed turn reminds me of the Billy Currington song, Good Directions.
I hope some of the nice things I do somewhat make up for my lashing out at Mr. G. Like when I “make” his ice cream every Saturday (the one day he allows himself sugar). No one takes Ben and Jerry’s out of a container, nukes it, and crushes cookies the way I do.
Hey Mr. Groovy!
I’ve always thought your writing has great flow and coherence 🙂 I also like your references; I actually use “Sword of Damocles” when speaking every once in a blue moon.
I’ve also paid to have the house power washed. I honestly don’t trust myself to lug a power washer and gas around in my car. I’d probably spill the gas and make a huge, expensive mess.
Hey Miguel – I’m stepping in for Mr. Groovy. He’s fallen a little behind with all the home repairs. He’s coughing like crazy and still has some painting to do.
Hiring someone for the power washing was a great decision. Yesterday Mr. G painted the front portion of the house that was discolored and the paint went on nice and easy and it covered well.
I didn’t even think about spilling gas! Good point!
I think you’re too hard on yourself with the ebook because you’re a beautiful writer! Organization is the job of the editor…or Mrs. Groovy?
We’re listing our rental soon too. I just need to get a landscaper to call me back because curb appeal is buy appeal.
Oh, thank you, Lily. Your kind words really made my day. And, yes, with the help of Mrs. G, we’ll get the organization right. Best of luck on the rental. “Curb appeal is buy appeal” is an awesome line.
Massive kudos on the Airplane vid. One of the best!
You’ll push through with the book. Think of what you’re learning too, it’s an exercise in continued growth!
“Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.”
–Francis Bacon
Hey, my opus isn’t going to be a best-seller, but it will make me exact. At least I got that going for me. It’s much better than total consciousness. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. It’s always great hearing from someone who appreciates the classics. Cheers.
I’m sure you’re going to add 20% to the ballpark estimates :). Looking forward to seeing the interior design!
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Haha! We’re way ahead of you, my friend. That’s exactly what we’re planning to do. We don’t want any surprises.
You two kill me. You know that, right?
Nice looking ranch. Groovypalooza, here we come!
Thanks, Fritz. But you know, we hope to get you and Jackie over to Groovy Ranch way before Groovypalooza.
Do I detect a screen porch on the side? That will come in handy against Aedes albopictus.
It is a screen porch on the side, my friend. And I sure hope it’s ample defense against the aedes albopictus. That is one nasty little critter.
Don’t ya just love a freshly power-washed home? Mr. MMM and I bought ourselves out own power washer last summer and have been thrilled with the purchase.
We, too, went back and forth about buying one or just hiring someone, but since we have a one story rancher and we don’t plan on leaving anytime soon, we decided the frugal option would be to buy one and do it ourselves.
Can’t wait to see the inside plans for the ranch!
I love it, Mrs. MMM. While we were still contemplating renting a power-washer ourselves, I watched a lot of YouTube videos of homeowners doing some DIY power-washing. And to tell you the truth, it looked like a lot of fun. Maybe we’ll invest in one when we move into Groovy Ranch. Any suggestions?
Somehow I missed that you were writing an ebook. I for one am looking forward to reading it! You have a very interesting story to tell. And moving in with your parents is going to be interesting for sure – hopefully awesome! There’s something special about living with family (for limited periods of time, when it’s for a positive reason).
Thank you, Angela. You’re so kind. And you’re absolutely right about moving in with family for a limited time. It is special. It’s also great fodder for a blog or a sitcom. Two fifty-somethings move in with two seventy-somethings. What could possibly go wrong?
Having finished a couple novels and several short stories, I have only one word of advice about your book: WRITE.
Every day block out a time and then chain yourself to the task of writing. I first said, “keyboard” but then remembered my friend Martin who dictates his stories during his work commute. Thus if you cannot chain yourself to a desk, get a nice voice recorder and force yourself to talk into it.
The most powerful thing you can do to improve your writing is to write. A consistent habit of writing every day is the best thing to make this happen.
Remember that every habit consists of 3 things:
1) trigger
2) action
3) reward.
Now, we know what the desired action is: writing. You can better figure out the trigger and reward than me, but here is an couple examples:
1) trigger=alarm goes off 60 minutes early
2) action=write 60 minutes + publish word-count
3) reward=bask in the praise of your devoted fans.
You’ll note the public and daily nature of this scheme. After a while record the number of days of consecutive writing on your calendar. The increasing number will also serve as a reward. It will also serve as a spur: DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN.
This doesn’t just work for writing. Have I told you how I lot 100 pounds two years ago and have kept it off?
Because the claims on my time have been so onerous, I’ve dedicated myself to writing at least one sentence a day. On most days, of course, I write more than one sentence. But I haven’t been methodical and disciplined enough. It’s time to up my game and get really serious about “not breaking the chain.” Thanks for the great pep-talk, my friend. You’re the best.
“Think you can spend more time on getting this house ready for sale and less time on writing a book that no one’s going to read?” That had me rolling, thanks for the laugh today.
Things are moving along on our front as well and we are prepping the house for sale, and all kinds of other craziness. POwer washing is high on that list but not until the snowstorm of pollen subsides. Everything has a nice yellow blanket of pollen on it currently, so no sense washing now when it will look bleh again so quickly. I have a small power washer that could do most of the house, but personally, time is SO limited and there are so many OTHER things to do (like NOT write an ebook right now) that I’m focusing on them and hope I find my own version of “Splish Splash pressure washing. 🙂
Good luck, and can’t wait to see the layout of Groovy Ranch! Exterior looks nice!
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Yeah, Mrs. G gets a good zinger in there every once and while. And I hear ya about how crazy house-prepping can get. This the our first house sale. Our previous two homes were condos. And even though we took good care of our home and are not far removed from being minimalists, there’s so much to touch up and fix and clean and cart away. We had a huge punch list and every day we attacked it. Thankfully, the end is in sight. Thanks for stopping by, Mr. SSC. And best of luck on your house-prepping. I’m rooting for you.
Since I’m a little new around here, I now have “the financial insights of a renowned cannibal” on my reading list. Oh, it sounds wonderful!
The front elevation looks great. I know you were debating one-story vs two-story. I’m curious what type of room you have up there or if it is attic with a nice looking facade. Sometimes those spaces are left for later upgrades, which might be a frugal win.
Haha! I think you’ll get a kick out of Hannibal Lecter’s contribution to personal finance. And as far as Groovy Ranch goes, we’re going with one story. We’re also putting the mechanicals in the crawlspace and going with hand-cut rafters rather than factory-made trusses, so there will be a lot of usable space in the attic. Thanks for stopping by, Susan. It’s always great hearing from you.
I think the house looks FAB. Porch and screened in 👌
Thanks, Groovy Mom. You have exquisite taste.
I look forward to the big event! Glad to see things moving along. I could never do power washing because it’s so incredibly loud!
Good point about the power-washer being so incredibly loud. Justin did have ear protection on. I never would have thought of that and would have suffered accordingly. Note to self: If you’re going to do anything with unfamiliar power tools in the future, please run it by Tonya first. She’s one smart cookie.
I’m sure Mr.G could have handled the power washing. I’ve power washed my deck a few times. It takes all of five minutes to get the hang of it. But it did take all day, so sometimes better to pay for a service and save your time. Ranch looks great. Looking forward to a look inside. Don’t rush the 90-page masterpiece. Perfection takes time. 🙂
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Thank you, Brian. I may be 56 years old, but I still got some formidable guns. I could’ve dominated that power-washing machine, by gum. Perhaps one day I’ll show Mrs. G just how wrong she was. Cheers.
All I can say is wealth has no limits, but time is so scarce. You will get it all done when the time is right. Tom
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Thank you, Tom. There’s some mighty fine wisdom there. And I’m begrudgingly coming to that realization. Cheers.
I’m thinking I could not fit through that front door. Ha ha.
We used a company called Window Gang to power wash the siding. They also cleaned the deck, windows and dryer vent and it was all pretty reasonable for our small house.
LOL! You’re right. That front door does look narrow. On the plans, though, the front door looks like it’s the standard width. But good catch. I’ll make sure to ask our designer what the actual width is. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Always a pleasure hearing from you.
OMG its really real! Squeeeeee! The ranch looks amazing already, I’m beyond excited for y’all! I can only imagine what a headache the whole thing is. One day at a time you fine felines, it will be over before you know it and you’ll be sitting on your porch drinking sweet tea and chatting driver sizes with the neighbors. I promise your ebook, whenever it is born, will have at least one reader 🙂
Oh, BE. I got a tremendous CMLT reading your comment. You’re too kind! Can’t wait to have you and Mr. BE over to Groovy Ranch. And I can’t wait to meet you and Mr. BE in person for brunch or some microbrews. Mrs. G and I should be living in Wake Forest come May. Hope all is well on your end. Talk to you soon. Cheers.