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To paraphrase the Airplane character Steve McCroskey, “It looks like I picked the wrong year to write an ebook.”
Yeah, even though my ebook, The Groovy Guide to Financial Independence, is sure to revolutionize how Americans approach personal finance, it’s not coming to an ebook reader near you anytime soon. My goal was to publish it by this June. Now my goal is to publish it before FinCon 2018.
Part of the reason for the delay is technical. Writing a 90-page ebook is a lot harder than writing a blog post. Blog posts need not have a consistent narrative or theme. They’re just the harmless scribblings of a somewhat deranged soul. One week, those scribblings may be about optimizing Obamacare in retirement. The next week, they may be about the financial insights of a renowned cannibal. A book, however, is different. It cries out for coherence. Each chapter needs to logically follow the previous one and propel the reader toward a well thought out destination. Bringing coherence to my ebook, in turn, has proven to be a lot more time-consuming than I expected. A seamless tapestry of words and ideas does not happen overnight.
While my weaknesses as a writer and thinker are surely delaying the arrival of my first ebook, they’re not the main culprit. I’m not writing this generation’s War and Peace, after all. My opus is just a dinky 90-page ebook, for heaven’s sake. No, the main culprit is time. It’s hard to write an ebook while simultaneously getting one house ready for sale and orchestrating the construction of another. Realtors, lawyers, tradespeople, designers, engineers, and builders don’t give a rat’s ass about my take on financial independence. And that indifference simply means less hours to write. [Mrs. Groovy here. It doesn’t help when his wife interrupts him all the time. I’m turning over a new leaf. From 8am to 10am, his prime writing time, my lips are sealed.]
Okay, there’s my mea culpa. No opus until the summer—I hope. Let’s now see what these great time-sucks have been up to.
The Design Front
Our designer, Michael, has finally completed the design of Groovy Ranch. Before he sends the design to the engineer, however, he wants us to run the design past the three builders we’re considering working with. No sense moving forward with the design if the ball-park price estimates we get are beyond our means. Now, I don’t foresee the ball-park estimates being a problem, but you never know. In the meantime, however, here’s a tantalizing glimpse of Groovy Ranch. Once the design has been sent to the engineer, we’ll give you a peek inside.
The Builder Front
All three builders—Chuck, Terry, and Russell—have been sent the Groovy Ranch design for their feedback. Thus far, Mrs. Groovy and I have only met Chuck in person. We’ll be meeting Terry and Russell in person early next week.
Quick aside: The builder Terry knows the couple who bought the lot next to ours and he said they’re very nice people. They’re both in their 50s and they run the local hardware store in a nearby town. In other words, we couldn’t have picked better neighbors. Somebody up there likes us!
The Sale Front
For a couple of weeks now, the necessity of power-washing our home has been hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles. Frankly, I was in no mood to rent a power-washer and learn the intricacies of power-washing on a two-story home we’re about to sell.
But as fate would have it, I missed a turn driving back to our home late last week and we ended up driving down a block we rarely traverse. And, sure enough, on this block we rarely traverse, there’s a guy with power-washing equipment talking to a homeowner.
Justin from Splish Splash Pressure Washing turned out to be a godsend. He was one of the happiest people we ever met and his work was exemplary. Our home looks great. [Mrs. Groovy here. I think my husband is getting better at his poker-face because he had me convinced he was chomping at the bit to do the power-washing himself. He was all set to rent the equipment the very next day at Home Depot. Whenever I expressed concern at his prowess with this gas-run, water-spouting piece of machinery he has never used, he told me it would be a piece of cake. Naturally, I’m thrilled he jumped on hiring Justin.]
Finally, we’re nearing the finish line. Our realtor Hailey is coming by tomorrow with the photographer who shoots all of the photos for her listings. Our goal is to have our home on the market next Thursday, March 29th. The only thing that might hold us up is the two-tone siding on the front of our home. A couple of years ago I painted a few discolored planks with some paint borrowed from a neighbor. Well, the paint didn’t match and the contrast is distracting. I have the paint to make the front of our home uniform once again, but the weather isn’t cooperating. Every night the temperatures keep sinking into the 30s. Damn you, global warming! Where the hell are you when I need you?
Fight-O-Meter
Haha! No fights again this week. But Mrs. Groovy did manage to ridicule my opus. I don’t remember the exact words that rolled off her acerbic tongue, but it went something like this: “Oh, excuse me for interrupting the delicate genius. Think you can spend more time on getting this house ready for sale and less time on writing a book that no one’s going to read?” Ouch. What happened to the sweet little angel I married from Brooklyn? [Mrs. Groovy here. Neither of us know anything about marketing an e-book and we don’t have time to learn now. So why he’s intent on finishing this book on a deadline when we’re in the midst of homeland upheaval is beyond me. But my bad. I shouldn’t have attacked him. I think I should lose a point on the Fight-O-Meter.]
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. Things are starting to move on Groovy Ranch. In a couple of months, Mrs. Groovy and I will be moving in with my parents. And in three or four months after that, Mrs. Groovy and I should be sending you an invitation to the first Groovypalooza at Groovy Ranch. Peace.
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