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Great news on the Groovy Ranch front. First, the foundation will be completed this week. Take a gander at how the foundation looked yesterday. Aren’t those bricks breathtaking?
Second, Mrs. Groovy and I finally had a fight. Check out the front of Groovy Ranch below.
Notice how there are no railings on the porch? We love that look, and would like to keep it that way. But here’s the problem. We decided to put the house mechanicals in the crawl space rather than the attic. It doesn’t make any sense to put a water heater, an air handler, and a duct system in an environment that can get up to 140 degrees in the summer. This means the crawl space will be three feet tall at the front of the house and four feet tall at the back of the house.
Now, because our crawl space will be a mini-basement, the height of the front porch will be too tall to forego railings. If I’m not mistaken, any porch 32 inches or taller is required to have railings by North Carolina code. So I brought these concerns to Mrs. Groovy, and here’s my recollection of the conversation.
Mr. Groovy: “I think the drop off from our porch is going to be too large and we’re gonna need railings.”
Mrs. Groovy: “I don’t want railings.”
Mr. Groovy: “Why?”
Mrs. Groovy: “Because they’ll block the view of the windows.”
Mr. Groovy: “Yeah, so. What’s so horrible about that?”
Mrs. Groovy: “I just don’t like it. Can the railings be low enough so the windows aren’t blocked.”
Mr. Groovy: “I don’t think so. I think railings have to be a certain height by code. Otherwise, if they’re only two feet high or something, they’ll be a tripping hazard.”
Mrs. Groovy: “Well, how about raising the height of the windows?”
Mr. Groovy: “Alright, forget about it. We’ll go without railings.”
Mrs. Groovy: “No, let’s not forget about it. Let’s talk to Terry.”
Mr. Groovy: “What for? You don’t want railings, so we won’t get railings.”
Mrs. Groovy: “No, I don’t want railings. But I also don’t want fall on my face either. You know what a klutz I’ve become lately.”
Mr. Groovy: “So you want railings now?”
Mrs. Groovy: “No, you idiot. Maybe there’s a workaround we’re not thinking about. As soon as we get home, we’re calling Terry, and we’re going to see what he has to say.”
Well, we talked to Terry and he said he could add enough dirt to the perimeter of the porch to obviate the need for railings. The height of the porch will be low enough to meet code and make Mrs. Groovy to feel safe. In other words, Mrs. Groovy was right again. Damn it! Why do I bother? Shouldn’t I just go to a doctor and have my cojones professionally removed in one fell swoop rather than have Mrs. Groovy slowly stomp them into gonad puree?
[Mrs. Groovy here. Firstly, don’t make me out to be worse than I am. I admit I called you an idiot, but not the way you explained it. I called you an idiot after I suggested we talk to Terry and you got in a snit. Secondly, I think you won this fight because I’m willing to go with railings if it makes sense for safety. Luckily, Terry said we have time to make a decision about railings later on. And it’s not just the windows I’m concerned with—it’s the entire front view of the house, you know, curb appeal.]
Cost of Groovy Ranch to Date
Since the cost of Groovy Ranch should be soaring over the next several months, and since I saddled myself with a new goal of keeping the total cost of Groovy Ranch below $300K, I think it’s only fitting to start publishing monthly cost updates. I got to get that accountability thing going. In that spirit, then, here is the cost of Groovy Ranch as of July 1.
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. Have a wonderful Fourth. Cheers.
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