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Several posts ago, I suggested three strategies to help you subdue your appetite for stuff: strategic ignorance, strategic aloofness, and strategic participation. Here’s a quick review.
Strategic ignorance: This is the practice of consciously removing yourself from the loop, of being purposely ignorant of whatever is “cool” or “hot” or “fashionable.” The logic behind strategic ignorance is pretty straightforward. Human beings covet what they see. So if you reduce what you “see,” you’ll covet less.
Strategic aloofness: This is the practice of choosing functionality over popularity. In other words, you know your stuff is lame, but it works and you don’t give a rat’s ass what others say.
Strategic participation: This is the practice of not participating in the materialism game.
FOMO Rears Its Ugly Head
These three strategies will help you subdue your appetite for stuff if you give them a chance. But what if you’re afflicted with a severe case of FOMO—fear of missing out? You love being on the cutting edge of fashion, entertainment, and technology. You enjoy hanging with the cool kids. You don’t think extremism in the name of consumerism is a vice.
I could, of course, hurl some derision your way. “C’mon snowflake, you’re going to sacrifice your financial future so you can prance around in fancy clothes and drink overpriced cocktails at snooty dance clubs?” But that wouldn’t be fair. FOMO is a real thing. I should know. I was afflicted with it myself for a good portion of my adult life. So rather than hurl derision your way, I’m going to hurl some ideas at you that may help arrest your feelings of FOMO.
Keeping FOMO at Bay
Being Frugal Doesn’t Mean Doing Without
A bed provides the same level of comfort whether it’s sitting in a 600 square foot apartment or a 3,000 square foot McMansion. A properly maintained 10-year-old Chevy will negotiate rush-hour traffic as well as a brand new BMW. Celebrating Valentine’s Day at White Castle is just as much fun as celebrating it at a fancy restaurant.
Do you recognize a pattern here? Mindful spending is not synonymous with abject misery. Life is still good if you only replace things when they wear out. Life is still fun if you only buy what is needed to get the job done. When you do frugality right, you sacrifice nothing. Remembering this will help you become a better practitioner of strategic ignorance.
Only Compete Against Yourself
Human beings love to compare themselves to other human beings. The only problem is that most human beings look up when they make comparisons. They rarely look down. But here’s a novel suggestion, for you. Don’t look up, down, or sideways when you’re making comparisons, look only at yourself. Are you making more money than you made last year? Are you saving more? Is your net worth higher? Are you more skilled or knowledgeable? Can you do more pull-ups? Are you a better spouse, friend, or neighbor?
Your job is to be the best version of you that you can be. It’s not to be an equal or better version of another dude or dudette. Remembering this will help you become a better practitioner of strategic aloofness.
Hedonic Adaptation Assures Your Defeat
Like most people, I love that new car smell. But after a couple of years with a new car, the new car smell is long gone and that car that once got you all jacked up is now just a hunk of metal, glass, and rubber that sits in your garage for twenty-plus hours a day doing nothing. The thrill, as they say, is gone.
What I just described is understood as hedonic adaptation—the tendency of human beings to get bored or increasingly unsatisfied with their stuff. Now a question. If you’re forever doomed to frown upon your stuff—regardless of how incredible it once was—isn’t playing a material game an exercise in futility? Absolutely. Because of hedonic adaptation, you can never win the material game. But you can win the freedom game. You put together a large enough portfolio and you’ll never have to work again. Now another question. Would you rather be unhappy with your stuff and working forty-plus hours a week? Or would you rather be unhappy with your stuff and retired? I could be wrong, but I think your answer will help you see the wisdom of strategic participation.
Groovy Store Is Open
Okay, you now have three strategies to subdue your appetite for stuff and three ideas to subdue the devilish beast known as FOMO. Haha! You now have absolutely no excuse for living paycheck to paycheck.
But wait, there’s more.
Not only have I solved the typical American’s financial problems, at least on the spending front, I have also opened an Etsy store. Yep, I got inspired by J and Gwen from the Fire Drill Podcast and their numerous discussions of passive income and Etsy. And you know me, when two of my favorite FIRE personalities get excited about something, I get excited about it. Here are the links to the Freedom Is Groovy store.
Indirect link from this website
Direct link to Esty storefront
And here are two examples of our Groovy merchandise.
Final Thoughts
Okay, groovy freedomist, that’s all I got. What say you? Are my three ideas for keeping FOMO at bay for real? Or are they unmitigated hogswallop? Let me know what you think when you get a chance. Peace.
[Mrs. Groovy here. Holy crap! Not very well played, my husband. I’m sure the irony is not lost on many of our readers—here you are, showing folks how to subdue their appetite for stuff, and even making suggestions on how to deal with cursed FOMO—and, yet, you conclude your post by promoting our brand new Etsy store. A store that SELLS STUFF!!! It’s great stuff, I might add, but it’s still STUFF. In the words of my Brooklyn ancestors, OYYYYYY.]
Hey Mrs. Groovy! You nailed it! FOMO is for real! I actually left social media because I had so much trouble with it. Of course it was my own mind sabotaging me but I felt I needed to lease the temptation. I needed to understand that competing with myself wasn’t likely unless I removed myself from all of the hoola! Super cute mug, by the way!
Sharon recently posted…How to Get the Most Out of Life Coaching
I’ve been able to avoid the worst of FOMO. I long for nicer furniture, but our last “purchase” of a TV stand was done entirely with Swagbuck gift cards.
We did finally break down and get a cell phone. Not because everyone else had one, but because eventually there were just enough things we couldn’t participate in without one. It was painfully expensive (iPhone), and Tim already wants a second one so we can each have one. But we don’t use it enough/aren’t apart enough to bother spending that kind of coin.
I’d like a few more shirts too, but that’s not anything to do with comparing myself to other people. Just has to do with needing a few more shirts that aren’t scrubs but aren’t too dressy either. And I plan to get those from thrift stores because I’m too cheap to pay retail prices these days.
So… I guess we’re doing okay on those fronts?
Abigail @ipickuppennies recently posted…Painting is done!
It sounds like you have your priorities in order.
We know we’re going to have to spring for some furniture in our new home but we prepared for that, and sold all our other furniture.
I need to get more into thrift store shopping. We’ve got a few here near Mr. G’s parents that are supposed to be great. But even when I pay retail it’s awfully cheap. Like $5 shirts at Walmart, LOL.
We haven’t made the change to an iPhone. I’m not sure we ever will. Mr. G’s android phone was under $100 and when I recently made a switch, mine was around $200. We’ll have to experiment with service when we’re living rural. I wanted a 4G LTE unlocked phone since we may need to switch providers.
I love your Etsy store, hope it works out ok.
Have you spent lots of time working on it?
I guess i should really listen to the podcast to find out!
Congrats:)
You can set up the shop pretty quickly on Etsy and Printful, which is the fulfillment company. Then Mr. G spent a few hours tinkering around and setting up the first few items. Once you know how to post an item, adding them is fairly easy.
Oh you guys crack me up! I agree with others that you need to include the talking trash and the egotrage at your store.
So my husband had a personalized license plate back in his days of marathon running. It was IRUN4PR. Personal records. Not to beat his competitors. But to beat himself. Tough competition!
And you continue to surprise me. What HAVEN’T you done?
We’ll have to work on those product lines.
Dude, you need an “egotrage for the win” product line.
Ha, ha. Now that’s an idea!
“Being frugal doesn’t mean doing without”. Driving a 10-year old Chevy vs. a new car means doing without important safety feature advances such as back-up camera, blind-spot warning system, forward collision detection, lane-keeping system, high-intensity headlights, etc…not to mention fuel economy and emissions improvements.
You make several valid points. Those will be nice features for our next car.
Holy moly the Etsy store!! J and Gwen are huge motivators! Very impressed! You guys should add some Mediavine ads to your blog too and take advantage of the traffic too. If you don’t care about monies maybe a freedom is groovy scholarship for your young readers who are first rate responsibility warriors.
Thanks, Lily!
We don’t get enough monthly sessions for Mediavine yet.
I always say only compare yourself to yourself yesterday. Are you better than you were? How can you be better? FOMO is definitely real but it is able to be tamed with some slight mindset changes. Congrats on opening the Etsy shop, hoping to pull the trigger on that too.
Thanks, Jenny. I really appreciate your comment. Lot of wisdom there. And good luck on the Etsy shop. I look forward to reading about it.
I can’t believe you opened a store with merch!! Awesome!! Ha!
I need me a talking trash shirt! But I need a freebie since we were guests and pioneered the remote talking trash!!!
Love the way your mind works, my friend. Let me see what I can come up with. A guest on Talking Trash should at least get a freakin’ t-shirt.
Ah that stupid treadmill, the bane of my existence (both existentially and physically).
Good rationale of why you still can be frugal and be completely miserable.
Excellent point of how we always look up when we compare ourselves, never down. There are people who would die to have what you have now yet we seem to be unfulfilled because someone else has more (there always is that someone).
They say competition brings out the best but it can also bring out the worse. The Joneses come to mind and how they have destroyed many a family (damn you Joneses! lol).
Compete with yourself and if you are always improving you have won.
I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. The typical American has no idea how rich he is. We see a guy living in a trailer in Mississippi and we see an object of pity. Much of the world sees that same guy and is overcome with jealousy. Our culture does a poor job of producing of thoughtful and grateful men and women. Sigh. Thanks for stopping by, Xrayvsn. Awesome comment.
HAHAHA I love it so much!! I was wondering how to diversify, having become bored with putting money into all these “stocks” and “funds” I cannot see. Now I can put all the money I saved by not buying a Lexus and 600K house into these phenomenal Groovy mugs & shirts, which I’m sure will become collectors items and nigh on priceless in coming decades!
the Budget Epicurean recently posted…BE’s Black Bean Burgers
You’re the best, BE. And you’re so right the phenomenal charm of our Groovy mugs and t-shirts. What self-respecting FIRE enthusiast will dare go to FinCon without Groovy merchandise?
Great tips for when FOMO inevitably comes knocking at your door! When I start comparing myself to others, I remind myself of that famous admonishment of teachers, “eyes on your own paper!” What other people are doing (and I can only see part of it anyway) is really none of my business.
Gary @ Super Saving Tips recently posted…How to Be Eco-Friendly, Save the Earth, and Save Money Too
LOL! I forgot all about, “eyes on your own paper!” What a great philosophy.
have you taken any ads yet to promote your stuff? i’ve almost got mrs. smidlap to open a print on demand store for her artwork. those are nice graphics. i was gonna say what mrs. groovy said.
freddy smidlap recently posted…The Other End Game – Gloom and Doom of Long Term Care
Thanks, Freddy. No, we haven’t taken out any ads to promote our stuff. We’re definitely winging it. Once I’m done with my ebook, we’ll be able to focus on our store. Our goal for next year is to make enough money from it to blow our Obamacare subsidies. We’re tired of being teat-sucking layabouts.
Ha ha. That was brilliant. Mrs. Groovy looks ferocious on that cup…
Alas, I may have to ask for some merchandise for my birthday. I am sure my wife would oblige but it would defeat the “buy nothing” goal I have.
As for FOMO- it is real. But when I compare myself to younger me, I still have FOMO. Nights out drinking with friends. Sleeping in without my toddler (who is quite cute) waking me up early on a Saturday. Enjoying $1 hot dogs and knowing I won’t feel sick for it later. So maybe comparing my current self to my old self won’t work….
Oh, wow, great point, Mr. DDD. I never considered how comparing yourself to a younger you might foment FOMO. Very perceptive. And true! When I was younger I could eat a whole pizza pie and not gain an ounce. Now a slice and a couple of beers will pack on the pounds. And I’m not even going to dwell on hair. What I wouldn’t give to have the mane I had when I was 20. Sheesh!
I especially like the “compete against yourself” section.
I’ve had prospects (potential financial planning clients) ask me which financial benchmark I use to gauge success when working with clients. Their assumptions are that they should “beat the Dow” or “match the S&P 500” or “achieve 12%”…. but that’s really the wrong way to think about benchmarks.
Don’t compare to some meaningless marker – like your neighbor, or “the market”, or whatever. Compare against YOUR goals and YOUR milestones that were set. If you are on target to achieve your goals, then you’re succeeding – regardless of what else is going on around you.
This seems to be a hard concept for most people to wrap their heads around. And even when they do, staying the course with this mindset is a challenge.
Brad – Financial Life Planning recently posted…Insurance You Need To Protect Yourself From Hurricanes
“Don’t compare to some meaningless marker – like your neighbor, or ‘the market’, or whatever. Compare against YOUR goals and YOUR milestones that were set.”
Nicely said, my friend. It’s kind of akin to the anchoring bias we see in shopping. We all too often focus on the first piece of information we see. Not good. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Awesome comment.
Haha! I love this post and all the practices. I think I quite prefer strategic aloofness. It is quite hilarious that you ended it with links to your groovy products on Etsy. Please do a follow post on how many sales you get after this!!
Hey, Ms. Fiology. Yeah, I kind of have my posts lined up in a hopper and it didn’t dawn on me that I was announcing the opening of our Etsy store on a post that decried mindless consumerism. Not my finest moment. Thanks for stopping by. And, yes, I’ll be sure to do an update on our sales. Peace.